Sia Yun Xi Caitlin is born on 2 August 2013

1 Aug 2013 (Thursday)

Morning, sent Kieran to school, came home to pack things to get ready for baby Caitlin's arrival. Feeling a little breathless. Contractions with backache and feeling of something pushing downwards.

1+pm brought Kieran home from school, got into taxi and went to my parents' place.

2+pm Kieran slept, I went to Toa Payoh to meet my friend to pass her something for her daughters and she passed me a rubber diaper changing mat that she don't need. Went to Kiddy palace to shop around and bought cup for Kieran.

3+pm visited gynaecologist Dr Ho at Mount Alvernia. Did baby heartbeat test and discovered contractions 3 times in 20 min. Nurse asked if I felt any pain. I told her only occasional backaches when tummy tightened during contractions.

4+pm Dr Ho checked and said I'm 4cm dilated. Better to admit now. Couldn't believe it. That was so sudden! I didnt expect to be admitted immediately. Called hubby, who was very calm, made payment, and then went up to delivery ward. Hubby will go home to bring my hospital bag here.

Just waited and waited at the delivery ward. Not much pain, just tummy tightening only.

6pm nurse ordered dinner. Dr Ho came and told me he will not break my water bag today as delivey is very fast after water bag is bursted because this is second child birth. He will let nature take its course and if my water bag don't break my next morning, he will break it and deliver baby.

I was very nervous because hubby wasn't with me. I wanted him to be here when I am in pain, or when I need an epidural. Very scared of the pain when the catheter is inserted.

7+pm hubby finally arrived. He ate dinner that he da bao, watched tv and chatted with me.

9+pm felt more pain as contractions gets more intense. The backache is tormenting. I had to take a deep breathe and bear with the pain whenever the contractions peaked. Still very not frequent though. 5-8min one contraction. I felt breatheless and a little bit nausea and want to vomit. Kept complaining that the room is hot and asked to turn down temperature but huby asked nurse and they said its centralised control but they can give us a fan. I asked for epidural. Very nervous and scared until the aneathesist asked me is this my first baby. I told him no, and I had epidural for first one too. But how can I not be frightened? Each time I use epidural its still pain leh.

Later that day, not sure what time, nurse came to check and say its only 5cm opened. Nurse suggested I sleep and relax.

So hubby and I slept, and hubby complained of hunger but all shops downstairs are closed, no choice but to drink milo (free supply of milo and coffee and tea outside the ward). The milo tastes yummy, thick and delicious. I only get to drink 2 cups before epidural is inserted. I don't dare to drink much, except sips of plain water in case I vomit. But I'm the lucky ones who don't get side effects from epidural.

2 August 2013 (Friday)

Early morning, I start to feel pain in my left thigh and top portion of my uterus. I thought the epidural effect has worn off and that surprised me because I didn't feel any pain for first child birth, so I was wondering why I did for this one. The nurse said doctor ordered 8.5-15 dosage for me and I'm on the lower dose. She increased it to 10 for me and she said I can't be on higher dosage because I need to feel the urge to push. I was really frightened as this was different from my first time. I didn't get to feel the "pushing" because I was on full dosage, completely no pain, no feel, and baby was out using vacuum. And this time, I actually will be feeling myself pushing baby out!

Some time later, Dr Ho came in and broke my water bag. I couldn't feel the pain of course.

And then we waited a few hours. Hubby said the contractions were at higher frequency now, every 3 min once. I feel super painful at the top of the uterus and thigh when contractions peak and I'm actually perspiring a little now. The nurse checked and said I'm fully dilated. Of course I'm fully dilated! I don't need her to tell me because I can feel something coming out of my below!

They informed Dr Ho and they started to prepare for delivery. I was trembling all over. I don't know whether I should push or just stay like that. So the senior nurse came and put my legs up and said its very good, they can see baby's head and asked me to take a deep breathe and push. I can feel baby coming out more and more. I push only when they told me to. At a certain stage, they told me to stop and asked Dr Ho in. The nurses were very nice and calm, thank goodness, and hubby was beside me all the while. I told him not to look where baby's coming out. I'm afraid that he may faint. Haha.

Then Dr Ho came and asked me to push, and with a few pushes, we heard little Caitlin's loud cry! I felt her head coming out totally. Cry and cry. This little girl cried more than Kieran when he was born, and her cries are loud but gentle, like a little cat's cries. So cute!

Then came the placenta delivery and the stitches which all went well and smoothly.

The nurse told me my delivery is very successful and fast, if only all deliveries could go as fast and smooth as mine. LOL

While I was in the ward last night, I heard an emergency bell went off, some scurrying of feet, and then minutes later, a woman was screaming in pain at the ward next to mine. Super loud. I was so glad I am on epidural!

Then I rested awhile in the delivery ward while I watied for the nurse to arrange for a bed for me. Baby was brought in for breastfeeding after cleaning and injection. She suckle very very well on first try, and I had lots of milk ready for her, thanks to her older brother who was breastfeeding until few months ago.

Then the rest is rest and bear with the episiotomy pain and feeding baby at the maternity ward.

Good for hubby coz he got 2 additional days extended for his leaves since there's Hari Raya and National Day Public holiday on the following week, in addition to his 5 working days paternity leave.

Good for grandparents coz Caitlin was born on 农历六月二十六 instead of within 农历七月 which is the month of Ghost Festival in Lunar calendar.

One of nurses told me there are many Chinese mothers inducing these few days because they want to avoid having baby born during the Ghost Festival which many Chinese believes is bad luck. But I think it doesn't matter lah. I'm not superstitious.

Not so good for me coz I want National Day baby leh, but never mind, as long as my baby is healthy and happy, I'm happy.

Love my little Caitlin!

3 days later, she was discharged with no jaundice, feeding well, and looking great!

Caitlin at Mount Alvernia Hospital

 Caitlin's first day at home

 Kieran Gor Gor & Caitlin Mei Mei

Kieran down with flu

Kieran has flu and his temperature raises once or twice during the day, and usually once at night.

We brought him to see paediatrician at Mount Alvernia today.

I'm a tired mummy. Dark eye circles appeared again. Not going to let Kieran attend school for this week.

Thankfully daddy took childcare leave and Nai nai came to help out, otherwise things will be worse.

Kieran was so eager to get out of the house just now, he kept bugging us to go out. He kept saying “出去，出去，去 NTUC (Fairprice)” I told him, "等等好吗？等爸爸冲好凉才走。" He said “不好！不要等！” Then proceeded to help me take my shoes. "妈妈穿鞋。"He said. And then kept pulling at my bag, “妈妈拿bag。” Finally I told him "ok, 妈妈换衣服，换了衣服才可以出去。" He happily followed me into the bedroom to change clothes, knowing there's some progress in preparation to go out. I am done changing and was talking to him outside our bathroom door. Once daddy came out from the bathroom, he went out to get daddy's shoes, "爸爸穿鞋！"LOL. Not a minute lost. Kieran will make sure we don't dilly dally. He's super happy when we finally get out of the house and make our way to the NTUC store at the next block. He happily explored the shelves of interesting objects and making comments at every thing that interests him. Very active little boy. Doesn't seem like a boy with fever. We had actually wanted to bring him to NEX at Serangoon for some shopping after dinner but his temperature raised again so we decided that we will just go downstairs. And Kieran is satisfied with that. We bought a chocolate Swiss roll for breakfast tomorrow but he insisted on having it so I gave him one small slice.

I enjoy talking to Kieran very much. He could explain to us what he saw at Universal Studio last week, and how he felt about the fireworks, the rides and the things he saw and heard. Its so interesting to hear him talk and he's so cute.

His favourite toys now are Lego and stickers. He could spend several minutes assembling and de-assembling the Lego blocks, playing alone. I gave him my old sticker book filled with stickers I collected when I was young, and he loves playing with it. Of course most of the stickers were destroyed by him, but at least we don't need to buy new ones. He has got lots of old stickers to entertain himself with.

Updates and some thoughts

Just realized the stupid supposed to be cheaper AMK shop cheat my money. The pillow cost only $4.90 at NTUC, they charge $10.90! Grrr I'm seriously not going back there anymore.

Btw, add in baby thermometer to the to buy list.

Having a baby is so expensive! Haiz. I'm glad hubby forces us both to save up more since we decided to settle down. I'm happy that from wedding to buying first flat to baby, we use our own money and never had to borrow from anyone.

I remembered only drawing $80 from the bank last week and now, I have $0 in my wallet again. Groan... I really must save up much more and stop indulging in more expensive food and transport. But haiz, the hot weather really tempts me to take a cab instead of waiting for the bus and train.

Childbirth education at Mt Alvernia

Today, I went for the physiotherapy course at Mt Alvernia. It is part of the childbirth education workshop we signed up for. Today's lesson is great. The friendly physiotherapist taught us about positions and breathing techniques we should adopt during different stages of labour. I asked her about the pain where my uterus hit the ribs. She said it should not be due to the stomach muscles straining. It should be due to baby/uterus pressing on my ribs. I guess she's right because when I lie down or stretch that area, the pain lessens. When I lie on my left because I heard that lying on left is better for baby, the area hurts because its the left side that hurts. When I lie on my right, the pain goes away. So it must be the uterus pressure relieved from the ribs when I lie on my right. I asked her for any exercise to help. She said I just have to wait until the pressure is gone which means when baby is no longer applying pressure on the area. I guess when lightening (baby dropping lower down into the pelvic area) occurs, the area will be more relieved of pressure and of course pain. I will also do more stretching that the yoga teacher teaches. Helps in alleviating the pain too.

Myths about breastfeeding

I realized many people have lots of things to say about breastfeeding which may not be the best for mummy and baby. Mother in law's friend told her that I should start to massage and press on my nipples now until liquid appears at the milk duct holes on the aerola so as to prepare the breasts for breast-feeding later on. On the contrary, if I stimulate my breasts, it will cause contractions and subsequently, premature birth of baby. I have to clarify this to MIL!

The friend also told her that its good to feed baby with formula milk at night so that mummy can rest and not have to wake up to breastfeed. I firmly told MIL that I won't! Lucky I have a very understanding MIL who doesn't only listen to what her friend(s) advises. I told her I don't mind waking up every 2-3 hours to breastfeed as long as this ensures my baby gets total breast milk. Formula milk can never replace breast milk. I explained to her that if I supplement with formula milk, my milk supply will decrease, I may get engorgement if milk is not expressed and baby will be very full on formula milk to ask for more breast milk. Ultimately, my breastmilk production will decrease and there will be no more for baby. Personally, I will kill anyone who suggest I supplement or replace with formula milk. I hope the nurse at Mt Alvernia will understand and bring baby to me for breastfeeding right after delivery and cleaning up. I heard that if baby is breastfed within 24hrs, he tends to remember the sucking action better and will latch on better.

MIL say baby needs water. But a baby on total breastfeed does not need water. Oh well, I told her a little bit is ok but when I bring baby home, I won't feed him any water. Feeding water to baby will cause him to feel artificially full and he won't be sucking breast milk and thus, won't get enough nutrients. I hope she won't keep thinking of giving baby water every time she feels he needs to. Baby's stomach is different from adult's. We are thirsty and requires water often doesn't mean baby needs water too.

I forgot to tell MIL that I intend to not breastfeed on schedule but on demand. That's why hubby and I bought a baby cot cum play pen for him to sleep in so that I can feed him while resting in the day or at night, whenever he wants to. Its too tiring to get out of bed and stoop down to hold baby up and breastfeed if he sleeps on mattress on the floor.

Yao lan causes brain damage?

MIL and my mom also heard from friends and TV programmes that if baby sleep in Yao Lan, baby will get brain damage. I would like to say that I won't rock baby like he's in a roller coaster, and I won't be letting him sleep in Yao Lan all night. Baby will ultimately still be sleeping on mattress. The Yao Lan is only for afternoon naps, or drinking milk/water from bottles when he is much older. So he won't get excessive rocking and he won't be brain damaged. Seriously, all 3 of us, my sisters and I slept in Yao Lan and we are all graduates. What brain damage?! I do agree that we cannot let baby sleep in Yao lan and rock him all night with the motor rocker. But I dun think people do that really. My parents never do that. Yao lan is only for day time naps. The cot, also, will only be a temporary measure because baby outgrows cot very fast. Its only for my convenience when I do breastfeeding for first 6 months. When baby is 6 months old, he can learn to eat solids already and dun have to breastfeed so often in the middle of the night.

Worries and fears

I really hope I can be a good mother to my baby. I am such an opinionated person... the inconvenience of confinement also will make me quick tempered... I'm the kind who will snap at people if I feel hot and sticky. So, I hope no unhappiness with happen during my confinement, especially since I'm doing confinement at parents in law's house. Sigh. Not the perfect option for me. I wish I dun have to do confinement because I like to be in control and during confinement, everyone will insists I rest and that means I can't be in control. Grrr... ok, I need to learn to relax... I dun think I'll ever leave my baby's side! Can't imagine I'm expected to rest at another room while MIL sleep with baby at another room. True that confinement is a time for mothers to rest after delivery but I think I'll hope it will end soon and I can bring baby home, and be in control of everything all over again. I seriously think I am at risk of post-natal blues or anxiety or something like that.

P/S: Two incidences that proves pregnant women's brain turn to jelly during pregnancy:

1. I forgot to take money from ATM after withdrawing. Lucky I remembered to take my card.

2. I was typing this post and when I wanted to type "course" I typed "cause", thought it was wrong spelling, deleted and suddenly forgot how to spell "course" until much later... -.-"

Baby items shopping again!

Seen Dr Ho for the usual check up and scanning today. I'm happy baby is now at normal weight of 1.6kg and growing healthily. Dr Ho said everything is normal and going well... that is the best reassurance a mother needs! I have, however gained 3kg in 3 weeks! LOL. The nurse said that's a bit too much. Oh well, I have a bit of water retention and my breasts and tummy have grown so much bigger compared to 3 weeks ago. I guess the weight increment is reasonable. I'll take care not to eat too much fried and oily food from now on.

After the check up, I went baby items shopping again. This activity is what always keeps me happy. Buying things for Baby Yun Xuan is most enjoyable, even though today, the bill comes up to $150+... Nvm, these are essential items and I've gone to a shop selling baby items cheaply.

I took a shuttle bus from Mt Alvernia to Bishan and then train ride to Ang Mo Kio because I want to go to the cheap baby items stall opposite Ang Mo Kio Polyclinic.

Completed most of the list of items that I said I wanted to buy in my last post:

4 sets of mitten and booties ($9.90 for 4 at AMK shop)
hard mattress (dad recommends seahorse brand) parents will buy
mattress cover
baby cot for him to sleep beside us in our new flat ($50 second hand) will collect tomorrow
- baby will sleep on mattress at grandparents' home
pillow and bolster (about $10.90 to $11.90 each)
pillow and bolster covers (forgot to buy)
beansprout billow (dad making for me!)
cotton balls and cotton buds (bought very cheaply at Chinatown, People's Park Market where a stall sells cheap household products)
nappy fasteners ($2.90 at AMK shop, actually should have bought at NTUC. Cost only $2.60. Tollyjoy brand)
nappy hooks (decided not to buy)
baby shampoo (J&J Top to Toe, bought very cheaply at Chinatown, People's Park Market)
baby bath
baby lotion (MIL say no need...)
nappy cloth ($25+ for 1 dozen at AMK shop)
wash cloth ($3.90 for 6 at AMK shop)
towels (MIL will buy)
brushes to clean milk bottles (bought at NTUC)
baby nail clipper ($5.90 at AMK shop)

I also bought Tollyjoy washable and reusable breast pads, a couple of baby caps, pampers for newborn just in case we need ($25+ at NTUC), and nappy liners ($6.90 at the AMK shop).

More items to buy:

pillow and bolster covers coz I forgot to buy them today

nappy rash cream

Ru yi oil

hard mattress and mattress covers

towels

Cot mattress set (can buy at later date)

Had a happy time shopping!

These days, however, back pain, muscle aches and swollen hands and feet are causing me some discomfort. I couldn't bend down as easily as I could before. I do Prenatal Yoga at COMO Shamhala and the Yoga teacher Sarah advised us to squat for 10min a day. I tried that today. Supposed to help strenghten the pelvic muscles. If I sleep too long lying flat on my back, I will get a nasty backache in the morning, so heeding the advice of the physiotherapist at Mount Alvernia childbirth class, I slept with a bolster propped up against my back, preventing myself from lying flat down, and with a pillow between my legs so that there isn't too much hip rotation when I lie on my side. If I dun put the bolster behind me, I'll most likely turn to sleep on my back unconsciously and get the nasty ache again.

The left stomach muscle right where my growing uterus meet the upper part of my ribs hurts ever so often. Usually, it hurts when I spend a considerable amount of time sitting, standing or walking. So after some activity, I'll take a break lying on my bed, propped with a bolster until the ache goes away. I'm not very sure what caused it or how to alleviate it. Perhaps I can talk to the physiotherapist this Thursday. I'm so very glad that I am not working now. Otherwise, the pain is going to be double. In addition, I'm waking up at least 3 times in the night to pee. Sleep disturbances. Luckily, so far, I dun really have insomnia. Perhaps coz there's no work stressors, so not much worries except a few of those hormonal-changes related emo-ing.

Oh yes, the water retention is not very obvious but I feel my shoes getting tighter, my feet and hands look "puffier" and my wedding ring was strangling my ring finger to death. So I removed my wedding ring with soap and water and I'm wearing it around my neck with a necklace.

Alright, going back to bed, to ease the pain in the stomach muscle... and to hug my hubby and adorable toy monkeys to sleep.

Mid way into the pregnancy

Yesterday, we had a detail scan of baby done at Dr Ho's clinic at Mt Alvernia. I was really looking forward to this scan. We will be able to understand whether baby is normal and healthy, confirm the sex of baby, and we can see baby for a longer time on the screen.

Baby is doing well. They checked everything from head to toe. I kept hearing him say "stomach seen, kidney seen, heart etc etc..." Dr Ho say baby is normal, no abnormalities detected from the scan. We were relieved. In my first trimester, we were asked to take further testing after the Oscar scan because the result wasn't satisfactory. It seems Oscar scan was not accurate, and amniocentesis wasn't necessary at all. We were glad we did not take the 1% miscarriage risk that comes with amnio and saved up $900+ which is the cost of the test.

Thank God for the blessing!

I am very happy that I feel baby's movement and sometimes stronger kicks everyday. They usually come when I sit still or when I am lying down.

Mid way into the pregnancy, I am feeling much better. I had headache and slight nausea in the morning. Today, I vomited a bit of gastric juices after brushing my teeth. Other than that, I am able to function quite well. I can't imagine how I live through the horrifying first trimester. I felt like I had been sick for 3 whole months! Now, I am appreciating good health even more.

Hmm gan jie and I have yet to register for yoga class and the hospital tour and the antenatal classes. We should start that soon... So far, the only exercise I have been doing is the weekly swim. Swimming is not only good for my body, it keeps my mind calm too. I have not swam for ages and when I started that last month, my phobia of water came back. Yup, I have a phobia for water. I used to have panic attacks whenever I swam to the middle part of the deep pool where water is the deepest. Perhaps I had drowned in one of my past lives? I learnt to overcome it :) All phobias can be overcome! We kept to the mid depth pool as pregnant women tend to have more frequent leg cramps and we don't want to risk it. The more I swim, the more I am used to the rhythm and the less afraid I am. It is always mind over matter. Currently, I am enjoying the swim very much.

One thing to be thankful for is that the rashes have almost disappeared. I felt some itchiness sometimes but its not serious is its not an extensive skin area. I bought a tube of the medication just in case but I hope I never had to open it. I guess the good rest, relaxed mood and the chlorine from the swimming pool helps? Kill bacteria. Haha.

With the new flat renovation starting and lots of activities for my spiritual classes, life is getting busier, and I need to manage my time and stress level well during this critical period of pregnancy. The most important is to maintain a positive attitude and an open heart. I'm sure I will not be alone in this journey. Appreciate the kindness and good company from family and friends.

Cost of having baby in private hospital

We chose Mt Alvernia instead of Thomson Medical although both are good choices. It happens that the nice obstetrician we decided to stick with is from Mt Alvernia and his clinic is located there.

Cost is alarming. Here's a breakdown since our visit in April:

9/4/11 - consultation + supplements = S$282.50

12/4/11 - Oscar scan = S$318.85

18/4/11 - Lab prenatal profile (blood test) + consultation + medication for rashes = S$346.72

5/5/11 - consultation + supplements + cough medicine = $231.23

Total already spent S$1179.30.

Subsequently, we are also going to take up a S$900 Antenatal package with our obstetrician which includes consultation fees, urine tests, weight measurements and routine scans.

Supplements and medicine are extra costs. Detailed ultrasound scans, hospital visits and postnatal consultation are also not included.

We have to pay $1300 (of which $600 is Medisave claimable) for delivery fee, assuming everything is normal, no need for forceps or caesarean.

Hospital staying charges will then be a separate cost:

$1270 for 4-bedded, and $1390 for double bedded, assuming normal delivery. I'm considering between these 2. These should be all Medisave claimable. Definitely won't be going for the single room ($2070) as I find it too expensive. Hope everything goes smoothly on that day, baby don't make me suffer from contraction pains for too long, and we can go home happily after a night's stay.