Why I will speak Mandarin to my son

I am an ethnic Chinese. In Singapore, where I live, most ethnic Chinese parents speak English to their children. I see young Chinese children grow up to disregard the Chinese language but speak English very well. The situation is so bad that the Minsitry of Education once proposed to lower the standard of Chinese language in examinations so that more students can pass it. Many people, like me, were appalled by the News.

My childhood environment is such that I learnt both Chinese and English, and even my Chinese dialect, Hokkien. So I am proud to say that I am effectively bilingual. I may not be excellent at both languages, English and Chinese but I can speak, read and write them pretty well. Both simplified and traditional Chinese too, because I grew up learning traditional Chinese in a spiritual group that my family attends. I have to speak Chinese because my dad does not speak English. In olden Singapore, there are English schools and Chinese schools and my dad attended a Chinese school. My mother, on the other hand, attended English school, and I speak English to her. They both speak Hokkien and my grandparents speak Hokkien so we children somehow pick it up... otherwise, when the adults say secrets to each other in Hokkien, how can we know? Haha!

Unfortunately, Singaporean Chinese children nowadays are only learning one language- English. They do not have the chance to be bilingual or the opportunity to appreciate the culture and beauty of their Chinese dialect.

I was especially saddened when I heard the News report that LKY said Teochew Association, Hokkien Association, and other such clans and associations should change their priorities and focus on other directions because dialects are no longer widely used in our society. He said English and Chinese are the main power behind growth and excellence. Does it mean if something does not contribute towards economic progress, you discard it? What about our heritage? What about our rich history? What about the beauty of the culture that comes with the dialect? I am a believer that when you speak that language, you do not acquire the language alone but the culture, beliefs, pop culture and everything else that comes with that language. We noticed that people who speak English often tends to be more "Ang Mo" in their behavior and people who speak Mandarin often tends to be "Cheena" right? Haha...

It's great that I finally had time to watch the Parliament speeches. I had been so caught up with baby caring and post natal blues that I have no interest in politics at that time. It's time I catch up! I listened to Chen Show Mao's speech and it was great! Good speech with no waste of words, everything is straight to the point. But what prompted me to write this post is this speech by Low This Khiang:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfvOvTDVA60&feature=related

I sincerely hope our government will not focus on economic progression and prosperity so much that they forgot what makes us Singaporean. Why do you destroy our heritage and history one by one, only to reminiscence it once a year during the National Day Parade performance? I used to love NDP performances but these few years, I find the scenes so hypocritical... It showed old Mama shop, kampong spirit, etc but who drove the mama shop out of business? Who import so many foreigners at such a rate that we dun see Singaporeans around much at workplaces and shops anymore, much less the kampong spirit or the Singapore identity. Everything that I grew up with and identify with in my neighborhood is almost gone. We've gone from third to first world in such a short time but are our welfare, creativity, culture, medical knowledge and education first world? Are we happy to be at where we are?

Breastfeeding FAQ

These are all that I've learnt about breastfeeding and I want to share with every mother!

1. Help, I don't have enough milk for my new born! I only managed to pump out a little bit of yellow liquid :(

Don't worry! When I was in the hospital I only managed to pump out a little amount of yellow, sticky liquid called colostrum. This early milk is high in antibodies and very important for your baby. Allow your baby to latch on as often as possible to get as much of these colostrum as possible. In a few day's time, your milk supply will come and the milk will change from yellow colostrum to more whitish transition milk and then to white colored milk. Don't worry if there seems to be very little for your baby. Baby has reserve in his body for 3 days so even if you do not have milk yet, it is ok for baby! Just keep latching baby on to stimulate your breast to produce milk.

The below is a picture of the colostrum I pumped out while at hospital.

This is a picture of the full milk I pumped out when we went home. This totally white colored milk only comes in a week after discharge.

2. I use the electric pump to pump out my milk and only get 30ml! That's not enough for my baby, right?

Using a pump to measure the amount of milk your baby is drinking during breastfeeding is a very inaccurate measure! Your baby is much better at extracting milk than any good breast pump in the world, so baby can actually suck more than the amount you pump. Also, when you feed baby, the feelings of closeness encourage let down of milk and its different when you pump, so the milk production will be much more when you are latching baby directly.

People with fast milk flow can fill up the bottle quickly. People with slow milk flow may take some time to fill up the bottle. But that still does not mean you do not have enough milk for your baby. Baby is having enough output, wetting diaper 6-8 times a day, looks satisfied after a feed, and is gaining weight means you are feeding your baby well. Just persevere on and you'll be glad that back then, you never give up!

3. Should I just express out my milk and feed baby with bottle? Direct latching is so difficult and feeding takes so long.

Don't do that yet. Don't choose to feed expressed breast milk (EBM) in bottles just because breastfeeding is difficult. Personally, I think babies should be introduced bottles only when mothers need to be away and cannot breastfeed her directly, like going to work, or going off somewhere for longer hours. Latching my baby isn't easy. He was a sleepy baby due to jaundice so we had to keep waking him up to feed and had to keep him awake during feeding. He's also very fussy partly due to my fast milk flow and his fussiness caused me to have sore nipples, blisters, and bleeding. During the first month, I really felt like giving up. Whenever I thought of the feeding session, I cringed as I am reminded of the pain on my nipples. However, I told myself that I have to persevere and be positive. With the encouragement of friends and my hubby, I have persevered with direct latching.

The most important reason one should do direct latching as much as possible is because this is the best way to stimulate milk production. Pumping cannot stimulate breasts to produce milk as much as babies' suckling. Most mothers I know have their milk dry up because they start exclusive pumping very early on, and there's almost no latching.

Another reason is that latching on provides the best bonding between mother and child. I feel happy seeing my child cuddle up close at my breast suckling, feeling safe and secure. I can cradle him and feel his warmth against my body, and touch him as he feeds.

4. Breastfed babies do not need to be burped.

Oh well, some say so but from my personal experience, yes, my total breastfed baby do need to be burped. He will swallow air when he cries or when he tries to search for nipple and is unsuccessful, or when he sucks and made clicking or sucking sounds because the latch is not very good. I have fast milk flow so baby is prone to unlatch and cry due to the flow being too fast for him, or make sucking sounds and have to be unlatched and latched again. Other friends who breastfeed their babies also say they need to burp their babies even though they do not have fast milk flow. So I guess the safest way is the burp baby after feeds. But don't over burp babies. Over burping them can cause them to spit out milk. It is not necessary to hear a "burp" sound after burping. Sometimes, there's just no air trapped inside so there's no need for baby to burp it out. (But if you bottle feed baby, you do need to burp baby until he burps because bottle fed babies almost always gulps in air.)

5. My baby drinks a bit and cry and pull off from my nipple! Sometimes, she pushes me away with her arm.

My baby does this most evenings since he's 3 weeks old. At first we thought he's frightened, what Chinese call "Xia Dao" by loud noises, noisy kids, etc so kept crying non stop and refused nipple even though he was apparently hungry and cried for milk. So we gave him Jing Feng San. And we also thought maybe he had gas in his stomach and gave him Ru Yi oil. Oh well, we came up with all kinds of theories and we were so at a lost of what to do. Then a good friend introduced me to this concept of CLUSTER FEEDING and FUSSY EVENINGS, and asked me to read Kelly Mom for more information on these stuff. Then I know! His behavior is not abnormal. Parents all over the world are experiencing this difficult moment.

Cluster feeding is when baby nurse more and for longer duration for a period of time usually in the evenings before he stores the energy for a longer duration without feedings, which is night time. During this time, baby may feed for a few min, then pull off, then feed then pull off.

Fussy evenings is when baby just simply fusses. Nobody knows exactly why baby fusses more in the evenings or why baby does it. There is something causing discomfort in baby but he can't tell us and we can't diagnose it. So what hubby and I do is we try everything! We rocked baby in cradle hold but he didn't seem to like it so we bounced him while supporting his neck and buttocks and he loved it. So we bounced him for hours. I bounced and sang to him for few minutes, then switch to hubby to bounce, then he started crying regardless of the bouncing and we knew he wanted milk so I nursed him and he pulled off and cried and nursed few minutes and then pulled off and cried again. These went on and on. Until about 12midnight or 1am... Sometimes hubby and I KOed and we had to hand baby over to my mother in law (who was doing confinement for me then) to hold baby while we rest. Usually when we hand baby to mother in law, he wasn't crying so much already.

There's one saying that during fussy evenings, even though what we do may not soothe baby effectively, it doesn't matter because what's more important is baby knows and feels someone is there with him when he's feeling distressed and uncomfortable. Someone cares. Someone loves him. Someone wants all the best for him. Someone is trying their best to make him happy and comfortable. Using this theory, I tell myself to keep calm and positive for baby. There was once I scolded him when he made me so exhausted and I couldn't forgive myself after that. It's absolutely silly of me. Baby doesn't know why he does the thing he does. He just wants cuddles, comfort and attention. So I tell myself never to do that again. When I am tired, I enlist the help of other family members when they are around and I take a nap or rest and do what I like to do. Then I go back with renewed energy and care for baby again. I tell myself that I must give all my heart and love for baby, no matter whether he fusses or he keeps crying or makes my nipple painful and sore, I still tell him he's the most adorable most important person to me, and I love him 100%.

Now, baby is 6 weeks old and everything is much better. Yes, the fussy evenings do get better although its not over yet. The fussiness actually peaked at 6 weeks and then stopped altogether when baby is 3-4 months old. The first month was the most trying. We just don't know how to deal with this little person who just popped into our lives! Baby destroyed whatever misconceptions I have about taking care of babies. I thought its just diaper changing, feeding, carrying... anyway, babies sleep most of the time, don't they? Alamak its not so simple and not so easy! If there's anyone who needs to teach their horny teenager a thing or two about safe sex, just come baby-sit my baby during one of his super fussy evenings! Those movies which glorified single parenthood? "Glorified" is an understatement! It's blatant distortion of reality! I can't imagine taking care of baby if I do not have hubby and parents or parents in law. I'll get really shagged and crazy.

6. I've a very sleepy newborn who refused to wake up for feeds, and when he does, he falls asleep quickly after nursing for a while!

I had the same problem because my baby had jaundice and jaundice babies are very sleepy. Those were my darkest moments. I became very depressed and cried almost everyday at about 5pm. Post-natal depression. I was also very possessive of baby, feeling unhappy whenever people, other than my hubby, hold him, and wanted to keep baby at my side at all times. I cried at every and any thing, including stories I read online, TV shows, News etc... even those stories that weren't even touching or sad and people won't usually cry at.

You just have to keep waking baby up! It wasn't easy. I had to tickle his ears, tickle his feet, touch him, talk to him, and my hubby read the news aloud to him so as to keep him awake, and yet most of the time, to no avail... yes, that's how frustrating it is. But we just keep doing it. The elders say, aiyoh, see he slept so well, let him sleep, no need to wake him up! But I refused to listen. I am one very headstrong mummy! I kept to the 2 hr feed schedule, sometimes changing to 3 hr feed if he seems to drink more during the previous session. I wake baby up every 2 hr, using whatever method we could think of or read about. Tickling, changing diaper, rubbing his chest, press cold towel on his face and chest... really whatever method. And I kept feeding him. We were delighted that during his 3rd week assessment, even when he still had jaundice, his weight has gained to more than the birth weight! Babies' weight should go back to birth weight by 1 month, and he's already much much better :) This gave me confidence and I continued feeding him with renewed vigor.

A certain pediatrician in Mount Alvernia told us to feed baby infant formula at night and to feed baby water because he has jaundice. Needless to say, I've stopped visiting this pediatrician and changed to a more breastfeeding friendly one. That one even told me to not be a hero, and that she had gone through this and she knows. Pui! I'm glad I never followed through any of her "advices" and persisted in total breastfeeding.

Total breastfed baby has jaundice that last longer but they will go alway. Mine only goes away slightly after his 1st month. Now, he no longer feeds on schedule because he can wake up for feeds already. He cries for feeds or sometimes, I see that he is awake and shows rooting behavior and feed him before he cries. My dad kept saying, let him be hungry for awhile and let him cry very hard before feeding him, then he'll drink more. But I do not see the necessity. Anyway, my baby feeds very well even though I don't let him cry hard for milk. I don't like to purposely allow my baby to cry. Excessive crying isn't good for babies' throats and babies with needs consistently ignored will grow up to become very insecure.

7. My baby keeps hiccuping. Can I give him some hot water?

There's no need to give water to babies when they hiccup. Its natural for them to hiccup and it goes away by itself after a while. Older generations have been advising me to give warm water to baby when he hiccup. Oh well. Some comments is 聽聽就好，笑一笑就忘了. But when it comes to my mother in law, who is doing confinement for me and thus caring for baby too, I am very firm about NO WATER for baby because I am doing total breastfeeding. Giving them water when they hiccup may choke them. See number 8 on why total breastfed babies do not need water at all. Remember to give very firm and definite rules to your confinement ladies and whoever helps care for him or her. Don't let them rule over you.

8. Does total breastfed babies need water?

The answer is NO! Many people like to suggest giving water to babies because they have been used to feeding babies infant formula. Total breastfed babies get the hydration and fat requirement from mothers' breast milk and that's all that they need. Feeding water to total breastfed babies can make them feel artificially full and they won't request for milk, won't suck more milk during feeding and thus may interfere with their growth. I've been breastfeeding my baby all the while and never giving him a drop of water. He's not dehydrated and he's growing very well.

9. What is total breastfeeding and partial breastfeeding?

Some mothers choose to give babies breast milk at times and infant formula or soy milk infant formula at other times. Usually they give infant formula at night so that baby feels "fuller" and will sleep for longer hours. Then mothers and confinement lady or whoever is the caregiver can get more sleep. This is partial breastfeeding. Total breastfeeding is feeding baby breast milk exclusively, with no water, no glucose, no infant formula as supplement.

10. Is partial breastfeeding better? I can get more sleep at night then!

Personally, I do not agree with this practice. Firstly, if you mix breast milk with infant formula, your milk supply may gradually dry up. This will lead to earlier weaning from breastfeeding. Breastfeeding works on a supply-demand basis. If there's less demand from baby, baby latches on lesser and sucks less, of course, your milk production will decrease because your body will send signal to your brain to stop producing more milk as there's no high demand for it.

Secondly, to feed baby infant formula makes him have a "fuller" feeling but that's not because infant formula is better! Quite on the contrary, its because infant formula is harder to digest. That's why when breastfed babies need to be fed every 2-3 hourly, infant formula fed babies only need to be fed 3-4hourly. Yes, caregivers or mothers get more time to do chores, and they get more sleep but is that good for baby? I'm not saying that infant formula is bad for babies but it definitely is inferior to my breast milk. I'm giving the best to my precious baby! Also, I do not think I should sacrifice baby's health just for my convenience. Not to worry, baby do learn to sleep longer hours at night as they grow older. That day WILL come. Anyway, some infant formula fed babies still wake up a lot over the night for night feeds so there isn't much difference in terms of the rest you get.

11. But if I breastfeed baby, its so difficult to bring her out!

No, its not! I've brought baby to shopping malls at Orchard Road and to baby showers and housewarming parties, and he's only 6 weeks old. Its generally difficult to bring such young babies out. Their needs are numerous and when they need something, they want it immediate. My baby cried so loudly in the MRT that we were terribly embarrassed.

Its NOT MORE DIFFICULT to bring breastfed babies out. All you need is a sling to sling your baby and a breastfeeding cover to cover him up as you feed him. Shopping will take a longer time though as you may need to find a nursing room or if there's none, you may need to find a quiet corner to sit down and feed baby. My friend has tried walking around shopping and breast-feeding baby discreetly in sling and breastfeeding cover so its not impossible! But I haven't tried that. My baby is so heavy and big... my shoulders will ache like crazy haha. But sometimes he like me to walk around as I feed him. If you don't have a sling, you can also just carry him and feed him under a cover. Some clothes are breastfeeding friendly and you can just pop baby under the cover of the blouse and feed.

Here's a picture of me wearing the sling on an MRT:

And here's a picture of me and my baby feeding under the breastfeeding cover:

You do need to have a change in wardrobe though. I have to give up many of my dresses and blouses and exchange them for blouses that have front open buttons to facilitate feeding.

There are a lot of nursing rooms in shopping malls in singapore. There's a list in this forum thread that you check before you go shopping. Some malls even offer free baby stroller loans.

Disclaimer: The above are personal opinions and preferences from my own experience and other mothers may have very different recommendations :)

I'll add to this FAQ as new questions pops up :)

Last edited 27 Nov 2011, 6.30pm

Growth spurt

Baby is having his 6th week growth spurt. He has out grown many of the newborn clothes. He can wear clothes meant for 3 month olds already!

Baby is 4.66kg at 5 weeks old. A big difference from his birth weight of 2.96kg

Me, I'm 50.1kg 5 weeks after giving birth. Pre-preg weight is 46kg. 4 more kg to lose but I'm not worried. 50kg is a good weight too.

I'm slimming down quite fast although I still have a flabby tummy. Its not too easy to lose. I'll give it a few more months. Moreover, I'm doing a lot of exercise walking and packing my new home. Breastfeeding also help to lose fats. Wearing the right clothes would hide those tummy and make me look deceivingly slim hahaha.

We took baby out shopping last Saturday. Forgiven hubby since he's sincerely interested in what I'm trying to discuss with him again. Time and again, he'll go back to his old ways- busy with his own plans, never consult me when he say "yes" to invitations and events, dun spend enough quality time with me etc etc... oh well, everyone is not perfect so I cannot ask for more since he's already trying hard not to repeat those habits which I dislike.

He comes home everyday to be with me and baby and that's very sweet already. At least he won't fill his schedule with outings with friends and live life like he's still a bachelor. Some husbands do and I dun understand how their wives can stand it.

My baby's undergoing growth spurt again and its really tiring. I couldn't brush teeth, wash face and have breakfast today coz he kept demanding for milk, and kept drinking and drinking non stop. I only had breakfast at 12pm in the afternoon when baby finally sleeps. Lucky my parents are here to help baby bath and hold baby while I do other stuff. I'm really so tired out. But I'm enjoying every moment with my darling baby, even in his fussy and naughty moments.

Not forgiving anytime soon

With a little baby, there are so many inconveniences to things that would have been simple in life.

Yesterday I was trying to discuss with hubby about the schedules for the coming weeks as I have several baby shower and wedding invitations to attend and I'm not sure baby is fit to attend them with us. For one, he fusses a lot in the evening and it'll be so embarrassing if he cries and cries if I try to feed him. And he still wails when we put him in the car seat for a long ride.

This Sunday I have to attend a wedding in the morning, a baby shower in the evening, Monday, another wedding in the evening, then during the weekend, I was hoping to put money in baby's CDA account for use when we need it. Next Sat, we have to attend a relative's house warming and baby must go for this one, then the following week is another good friend's baby shower.

But I am very sad. Yesterday when Hubby and I had a chance to talk over dinner, all he was concerned about was Groupon discounts and surfing the net. I haven't completed my sentence and he was already calling someone over the phone about something he read online. I had appalled by his lack of interest in what I was saying. I am interested in planning a schedule but he was more interested in commenting on other people's choice of baby shower timings. Irritated max. It got to the extend that I snatch his handphone from him in an attempt to make him listen but I guess that attempt failed too. I felt like smashing the idiot phone against the wall although I returned it to him. Later, I went in to look after baby and he knew I was unhappy but that's too late. If he doesn't care, then why should I bother? I will just make the arrangements myself and he doesn't need to be in the picture since he doesn't care.

Sometimes it pains me to see how less effort hubby is investing in baby's care. I understand he has to work. But the most he did is to hold baby awhile in the evening. He doesn't need to wake up in the middle of the night to care for baby, change diaper or feed baby. I try to let him sleep as much as possible and be as stress free as possible by doing everything myself but I dun want him to take things for granted. Does he know that other dads wake up in the middle of the night to rock baby to sleep when they wake up crying? Does he know that other dads come home to play with baby, change nappy, cook dinner etc instead of checking mails, reading news and watching tv like he does?

I refused to talk to him much in the morning. He doesn't realized his mistake. Guys will not reaslise their mistake if you tell them how wrong they are in the face. Guys will never learn. Even after he sensed that something is wrong, he doesn't know how he can make it right. He just sleeps at the time he sleeps everyday. Even though he knows my love language is "quality time", he doesn't give me the attention that I require. These few nights, it is always dinner, feeding baby and then I will entertain baby until he sleeps, and wake up in the middle of the night to care for baby while he continue on his usual lifestyle of sleeping before 11pm and wakes up for work. Its not that I am complaining about the unfairness. I just want him to realise all these doesn't come easy. He comes home to marvel at baby's cuteness while I do all the work and the pacifying.

Yes, I'm feeling very bitter, and no, I am not ready to forgive him. Especially since he isn't even doing anything to ask for forgiveness too. Taking too much for granted... taking too much for granted... :(

settling down with baby

Settling down in my new home. Its cool to be here in Punggol. The weather is almost always cool, and at night, when there's a storm, the wind raged up a cool howling sound, like wolves' howls. Isn't it great? Its like sleeping in a tent in the wild. I've always always love nature!

The cool weather is great for my baby. He's really scared of heat. It pains me to see him sweaty all over after a nap. Oh yes, baby fusses every evening but the change is that I've already got used to it and am prepared to handle his fusses even though he still tires me out every time. Hubby came home late usually, and after dinner and unpacking some stuff, he needs to sleep earlier to prepare for tomorrow's work, and boy, he really can sleep over baby's cries -.-" So its up to me alone to entertain this little tyke until he got tired and finally sleep.

Our house is in a mess coz there r just so many things to unpack and tidy up. So many things to do everyday. Feeding baby, bathing baby etc, all these are routine chores. So when I get some free time, I'll do the unpacking and sorting.

I'm extremely grateful to my parents and parents in law for coming over to help with household chores and cooking. I really cannot imagine doing all these alone with a small baby to care for. I dun mind it if I have full night's sleep but this little one has been waking me up 3 times over the night, and demands to be held and played with in the early morning. Which machine has this much energy?

Today, we bring baby out. He's getting very used to the car seat and does not fusses as much as the first time we put him in it. Dad drove us to visit my aunts. One of my aunts is handicapped so she couldn't come to visit baby. She's so happy to see my baby just now. Then we went out for lunch at Greenland Vegetarian Restaurant. Very tasty food. I will rate it 8/10. As we ate, baby too, had his "lunch" over the breastfeeding cover. Haha. He's so guai, not making too much noises and not fussing. Otherwise, I'll have to entertain him and walk around, which isn't so convenient in a restaurant. I love it when he unlatches after he's had his fill and sleep soundly at my chest. He looks so contented and so snugly warm.

He's now sleeping on my parents' bed. At my parents home now after lunch. Hubby is coming for dinner, and then we'll go home together with baby. I'm enjoying the day :)

Moving out finally!

We are moving to our new flat at Punggol tomorrow. A month long's confinement has ended. And this will be the last time I'm doing confinement, man. Last time. I'm absolutely certain about that.

I'm a free spirited person and to have people telling you can't do this, you can't do that based on the beliefs of some ancestors is a torture. I wonder why I agree to do it in the first place, really. I told hubby when I die, I'm going to search for those ancestors who came up with the confinement rules and give them a piece of my mind.

I also can't stand not showering. Irritated me to the max.

I also hate the lack of privacy when staying here at parents in laws' place. Can't wait to move to my new home. There's no place like home really when I can be free from unsolicited comments, advices and restrictions. But I really am not sure whether I can handle baby well alone. I mean baby has been waking me up for feeds 3 times at night recently. He also need diaper change at least once at night. He is also very demanding in that he'll ask for attention and refused to sleep. In the morning, I am so beaten that I'll enlist mother in law's help and take well deserved naps. I only managed to be more awake in the afternoons. I wonder how I can cope when such help isn't available. But at times, I really wish for more private moments with darling baby so that whenever he wants, I can just take off my shirt and breastfeed in the living room, at the sofa, on the beanbag, anywhere... and I can hold baby while I nap like what i did previously on the beanbag... and I can do anything my way and go anywhere I like without anyone interfering.

Refusing to nap

Baby was super active yesterday. He refused to nap and fussed at my breast since afternoon.

The night before, he skipped his evening fussiness and kept sleeping after feeds. I thought it's a wonderful break for hubby and me. Little did I know that he will pay it back double the next day. Lol...

I was so tired by evening that I handed baby to mother in law and took naps. Actually I was hoping hubby would come home to help but he suddenly felt weakness in his body and usually that is the first sign of cold or flu for him. So he kept a distance from baby, wore a mask and slept outside. I can only depend on myself. I told him it's alright, I'm independent. But in the end, I gave up and handed baby to mother in law to be coaxed to sleep after I fed him. I tried to ignore his cries and whimpers which melted my heart and tried to catch some sleep myself.

I was glad that the next time I heard baby crying for milk, it's 3am already. Mother in law had put baby to sleep in the cot beside me. I'm amazed she managed to rock baby to sleep. It must have been very difficult. Baby is extremely naughty during his fussy period and he'll demand for so much attention and threaten to be rocked in his favourite way or else face his loud and endless cry.

Now baby is stretching and grunting in the cot. Not yet in deep deep sleep yet. Boy, his grunts are super loud! He just had his milk and I've pumped out the rest of the milk to relieve engorgement. I really should have sterilized the pump so as to pump and keep the milk. I pumped out one full bottle. Such a waste to throw it away but I was too tired and didn't think clearly. I usually try to keep the milk I pump out during night feeds because milk flow is faster between midnight to 6am and I really can pump out a lot to store at a short time. Never mind, I shall do that for the second feed.

Baby picks up routine very quickly. When he wakes up in the morning, he needs to have milk. After morning bath, he needs to have milk, even if he'd had milk shortly before, he'll still demand for it. If he's not hungry, he'll drink only a few minutes but at least he suckled and that's good enough for him. This tells me that I have to train him sleeping routine as soon as he begin to want to sleep longer. I read that babies will develop sleep wake cycle at 6-8weeks old, so at this time, it's best time to develop a good sleeping routine that will help baby sleep better and be less fussy during sleeping time.

Time for bed before baby wakes up for second night feed. Good night... I mean... Morning... Yawn...

Preconceptions vs Reality of parenthood

Before having my baby, I thought babies... :
Sleep like sweet angels at night :)
Reality:
Babies grunt and groan when they stretch. Mine is super loud and makes lots of noises.

Before having my baby, I thought babies... :
Will be peaceful and lovely all day and night.
Reality:
There is such thing as evening fussiness when babies cry and fuss and is just very naughty and won't sleep... And there's nothing we can do but to entertain him until he sleeps.

Before having my baby, I thought... :
The biggest challenge is breastfeeding - having enough milk, correct latching, baby drinking well etc. Follow the book and I'll be ok...
Reality
Throw away the book. Every baby is different. Ok, the book on breastfeeding does help to understand basic concepts but breastfeeding isn't about following everything the book says. Following my baby's character and demands is more important.

Before having my baby, I thought... :
I'll still have lots of time to rest and enjoy doing craft and art.
Reality:
Feeing baby every 2-3hr and waking up at night to feed him 2-3 times? No more time and energy to do other stuff. Maybe until he's a little older...

Before having my baby, I thought... :
I'll still be the same me whatever happens.
Reality:
Never have I felt such intense love and desire to protect someone other than myself. I will brave storms, face monsters, ghosts, evils and even fierce dogs and cockroaches for the sake of my little one. I guess I'm not the same anymore.

There are still more realisation to come. Being a mother makes me understand with deeper meaning when my parents tell me how sick I fell when I was a child and how worried they were, how concerned they are when I refused to eat, and the problems they faced when I was a baby. They seemed easy before I faced them myself but now, I can understand the feelings of being a parent. "Being a parent" these simple words encompasses more than you could think of.

Baby cold

Oh no, we are so sad. Baby was only 23 day old when he suddenly developed cold symptoms. Yesterday 3am, baby woke up for milk but after drinking, he still woke up at 4am, 5am and 6am, crying but not drinking a lot of milk when I offered him nipple. He started coughing a lot and making weird noises with his nose. We realized that its not normal and wanted to take him to polyclinic as we had planned to bring him for his jaundice check up. But in the morning, hubby and I decided its better to bring him to pediatrician instead. He seemed to be feeling really terrible.

Dr Ong saw him and explained to us some coughing and sneezing is normal but checked and said baby has a lot mucous. But he dun recommend babies this young taking medicine. He said there are babies who stopped breathing altogether and turned blue after taking medicine that cause drowsiness. He told me us to use a saline spray to spray into baby's nostrils to let the mucous come out. He said baby will sneeze it out or it will come out as runny substance.

We used it once yesterday and baby was crying and crying. We had to hold his head. Poor thing! We used it again this morning and afternoon. He seemed more relieve after using the spray. We'll use it again this evening a few min before his feed and then let him sleep. Hopefully he'll be fine. My poor baby. I hope he will get well soon. In the day he's ok. The worst usually happened at night, usually when he wakes up for night feeds... and that will be my problem alone coz at that time, nobody can help me :(

What's worse is that mother in law had cold and its probably her who passed the virus to baby even though she already took good precaution like wearing a mask. So its more tiring because we dun dare to let her carry baby. We have to care for baby on our own and hubby has to learn how to bathe baby. Sigh. Its all so tormenting... but I shall survive this, and baby will get stronger!

10 more days to go

Boy! Time flies! Its only 10 more days to baby's 1st month!

Baby Yun Xuan has changed so much since his discharge from hospital. He's hungrier, less sleepy, chubbier, making much more noises, likes to play with papa and mummy and hear our voices, and he's getting super fussy in the evenings!

I try to think of his fussiness as needing our attention and love, then I'll not feel so frustrated and negative. When he's fussy, he can be satisfied with nothing. I told Aunty (Yilin's aunt) that in the evenings, he's fussy. She dun seem to believe. She asked whether we didn't feed him on time, causing the fussiness. I told her, no, its just like that, no matter what we do, he's just fussy. So last night, she was holding him and he gave her the full power of his fussiness. She promptly passed him back to me. LOL. Yun Xuan would cry and stretch and fret and won't be soothed by the usual cuddling.

So hubby and I sing to him, hold him in his fav position and feed him milk when he's less fussy.