past and future

I had been thinking a lot about the future, and consequently, I began to think a lot about the past too. I thought about how hubby & I had come together, why we met, how we met, when we liked each other, why we like each other. When I see him today, I still feel a strange sense of I-cannot-describe feeling that one can only call "love". Its weird because we've been together for so long. People said when we have been married to our spouses for very long, the heart beating fast kind of feeling will fade and the relationship will develop from romantic to more of responsibility and commitment. For me, I can't tell the difference. There's as much romance in this as responsibility and commitment. Perhaps another 10 years down the road, we'll both feel differently about each other but that's in the future... and nobody can tell how the future will be like.

We met when I was in Year 2 in University so that was 10 years ago. I was about 19...

2002 - met
2004 - I graduated
2005 - Hubby graduated
2008 - Registered for marriage
2010 - Held traditional marriage
2011 - First child is born
2013 - Second child is coming

Well, it seems like a really long time. And when I look back at our photos, I'm amazed that we actually had looked like this before:

Perhaps God had predestined this to happen the way it happened. Thank God for although I did not exactly get what I wished for in life, life has given me a lot of things that I hadn't wished for, that I didn't believe would happen to me.

... like being married to this wonderful person, like having a son, like hearing my son say "peekaboo" to me and he's only 15 months, like being a mother and learning that I can actually really be a mother, like being a stay home mom, etc etc

Life has lots of lessons install for me, and none of these are truly what I had wished for but it happened anyway, and I was half glad and half sad that they did happen.

Hubby said I am a rubber band that had been stretched for too long, and if I carried on, I will snap. I must learn to let go. If you are letting go of something physical, it is pretty easy. If you are letting go of anger, hatred or love, it is also comparatively easy. If you are letting go of values you hold dear for most part of your life, that is something... and that is what I am learning to let go.