Well, you can't say Kieran is really a toddler yet... he can't toddle. He can only crawl and occasionally stand by himself.
Its good that the morning sickness this time round sets in in the evening so that I have energy to take care of Kieran when hubby goes to work and I am alone at home with him. He is demanding of attention. He wants milk milk, wants to play, wants to "um" everything I am eating and yet refuses his main food when I give it to him. He can talk and talks all the time. He can say lots of things and even repeat number one to ten in mandarin after me! His verbal ability develops really fast but not the walking ability.
This baby is considered more guai than Kieran when he was inside me last time. She doesn't make me feel terribly horrible, like I'm having some kind of terminal illness and going to die. If she had been the first child, I'd still be able to continue my work that time.
But then I still couldn't accept the fact that I'm going to have another one so soon. For the past few days, I sunk into depression and kept worrying and crying. My hubby told my parents about it and they came to see me. Our own parents who gave birth to us is the ones who love us unconditionally, and will make the most sacrifices for us. I told them I really thought of us giving up this pregnancy. My mom offered to stay with me from mondays to fridays until this one is old enough to go to childcare. I intend to go to work as soon as baby is about 3-4 months old.
Sigh I really hope I can survive this and that my parents and hubby and Kieran can survive this. God, this is a really major test you give us. A baby at THIS TIME? Gosh...
Friday, January 4, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
A surprise
The date is 29/12/2012. I had gastric problems, nausea and general weakness for 6 days, and had taken gastric medication for 3 days after testing negative for pregnancy. I did not recover at all. I still feel lousy although the gastric discomfort subsided a little. I started googling for symptoms of gastric cancer, intestinal cancer etc, and I sobbed as I repented to God and I thought I was most probably dying. Probably I won't survive until 2013. I won't see my son grow up. I started to think of how things will be managed after I have left this world. Well, my son will well taken care of by the grandparents, my husband can be free to choose another partner, he can travel the world without worrying, my loved ones will get on with life without me in time. Nobody is truly indispensable. I felt better. If one faces death, it's not the dying who suffers the most but the ones who are left behind. I have faith in God and I start to think of where I will go to after I pass on...
Then I think again, maybe it's not terminal illness... I have a feeling the symptoms are related to early pregnancy symptoms I had before, maybe the test I did sometime back isn't accurate? I did a test again on 29 dec and then, it came out obviously positive! I started shivering in disbelief and anxiety. How could it be? My gynae had told me, 2 months ago, that given the state of my uterus now, it is unlikely for me to get pregnant! I am still breastfeeding my older son who is 14 months now. I went to the clinic to test again and it's positive. The GP prescribed folio acid.
So I quickly SMS my hubby about the News. I was happy at first. I thought about receiving a little babe in my arms again... And then I became sad and worried immediately once I thought about all the complicated issues. Who will help to look after my son and my newborn? Will I have to send my son to full day childcare soon? Will I have to engage a maid? Will I break down taking care of two kids? How about the finances? Can hubby continue to support the family with single income? I had planned to work when I settle my older child in childcare next year but now all the plans will have to change.
I didn't feel happy about the pregnancy so I decided to tell no one until I discuss with hubby. I even wish it hadn't happened, or that it will go away... You know...
But hubby came back that night and told me he's super surprised and happy to hear the news. He laughed while I gave him a sad smile. The reassurance helped though. At least I knew he don't think that our baby will be a burden. I asked my mom whether she could quit her part time job and help me from Mondays to Fridays, staying over at my home as I do have to work next year after baby is born because we really need one more income coming in to support two kids.
The good news is, I sense that this baby is a girl. I am very sensitive in this aspect. For my first pregnancy, the moment I tested positive, I sensed that it's a boy, and it turns out true. For this one, it must be true too. My hubby would really love to have a girl, so do my mother in law who had been wishing for a girl but got two sons instead. If she's a girl, she'll be even more doted upon than my boy. I've even thought of a girl's name. Let's wish that me and my family can pull through and that this year will be alright for all of us. Oh baby baby, what a surprise and what a time to come!
Then I think again, maybe it's not terminal illness... I have a feeling the symptoms are related to early pregnancy symptoms I had before, maybe the test I did sometime back isn't accurate? I did a test again on 29 dec and then, it came out obviously positive! I started shivering in disbelief and anxiety. How could it be? My gynae had told me, 2 months ago, that given the state of my uterus now, it is unlikely for me to get pregnant! I am still breastfeeding my older son who is 14 months now. I went to the clinic to test again and it's positive. The GP prescribed folio acid.
So I quickly SMS my hubby about the News. I was happy at first. I thought about receiving a little babe in my arms again... And then I became sad and worried immediately once I thought about all the complicated issues. Who will help to look after my son and my newborn? Will I have to send my son to full day childcare soon? Will I have to engage a maid? Will I break down taking care of two kids? How about the finances? Can hubby continue to support the family with single income? I had planned to work when I settle my older child in childcare next year but now all the plans will have to change.
I didn't feel happy about the pregnancy so I decided to tell no one until I discuss with hubby. I even wish it hadn't happened, or that it will go away... You know...
But hubby came back that night and told me he's super surprised and happy to hear the news. He laughed while I gave him a sad smile. The reassurance helped though. At least I knew he don't think that our baby will be a burden. I asked my mom whether she could quit her part time job and help me from Mondays to Fridays, staying over at my home as I do have to work next year after baby is born because we really need one more income coming in to support two kids.
The good news is, I sense that this baby is a girl. I am very sensitive in this aspect. For my first pregnancy, the moment I tested positive, I sensed that it's a boy, and it turns out true. For this one, it must be true too. My hubby would really love to have a girl, so do my mother in law who had been wishing for a girl but got two sons instead. If she's a girl, she'll be even more doted upon than my boy. I've even thought of a girl's name. Let's wish that me and my family can pull through and that this year will be alright for all of us. Oh baby baby, what a surprise and what a time to come!
Friday, December 28, 2012
dying!
I'm dying! Really!
I've been feeling this weird going to puke sensation in my tummy and throat for 3 days! At first I thought its pregnancy (Oh no!) then I did a test at the doctor's and he said I'm not pregnant, but I had a gastric problem. I knew it coz I had lots of wind in my tummy and I kept burping. The feeling of going to puke has been ongoing even though I'm taking medications. I felt super tired everyday.
On top of that, a mother has no leave, no medical leave and no even few hours of rest :(
Hubby has been helping a lot. Thank God he is on leave now, clearing his annual leave so that he can help take care of baby. He wants to cook lots of delicious food for me as hubby is a family man who loves cooking but unfortunately, at my current situation, the only thing I want is plain porridge. Hubby took care of baby and took baby out so that I can rest, but I can't rest. I just can't rest when I know baby is outside in the cold, and I can't rest not knowing what baby is doing. I also can't get a good night's sleep. I was dreaming about beautiful houses and Zoe Tay when baby woke me up for milk at 4am. I couldn't sleep after that. I thought about the beautiful houses and how I would never have the money to move into such a pretty house. I thought about the grieviances I suffered during my confinement and how I will never ever do confinement again. I thought about lots of unhappy things and about how nice if I wasn't so intent on having a child, then perhaps we can travel the world and live wherever we want to. We could see the beauty of the world and experience the inspiring scenery, the fresh air, and the beautiful nature. But then I turned around and I saw my little angel sleeping beside me.
When one is sick, one wishes to huddle in a hole and be well taken care of. I so miss being with my parents. They will take care of everything for me. They will cook meals for me so that I am not hungry coz when I am hungry now, I feel the puking sensation more strongly. They will help to look after baby so that I don't need to worry. They will give me my medicine at the correct time. How I miss my parents!
Sigh... all the ranting. Oh please, please, let me be well and healthy soon, God!
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Baby in San Francisco
I can't believe we survived the long hour of flight and the freezy cold wind of San Francisco!
Baby's nap and sleep time is all topsy turvy now. But he's extremely obedient and we are so lucky to have such a dearie little boy! He sleeps through all the take offs and landings and we have 2 of each as we need to do a transit in Korean international airport. I pity the mummies of those babies who were crying their hearts out due to the ear discomfort.
He's really active and managing him on the plane isn't easy but really boys are like that. Everyone who sees him says he's cute and handsome :) Between breastfeeding, carrying him around, entertaining him, letting him sleep on my lap, breasts, arms, I still managed to watch 2.5 movies and eat my lunches, breakfast and dinner properly. Lucky we also brought his favourite toys and some new ones on board with us. And not to forgot, moisturising cream and baby nose spray is a must. We adults need to use these too. Long hours of dryness on the plane is no joke.
In San franz, we went to hotel to rest and then went supermarket shopping for breakfast for tomorrow and water for the rest of the days. Of course we also got lunch at the Loving Hut, a vegan food stall at Westfield shopping mall. The spicy noodle is great! So good that baby refuses his baby food and insisted on eating ours. Interesting, on the first day, we felt kind of giddy and as if the world is shaking. We thought its because of the aftermath of long hours of flight but when we saw the water in the bottles shaking on the supermarket racks, we knew the world really IS shaking. Kind of worrying... but we got over it on the second day and its as if the world stops shaking, or rather we have gotten used to the shaking.
We saw people of different races on the road. A cab driver told us almost 50% of people here are Chinese, and that's because historically, the Chinese came to San Francisco first before the Whites during the Gold Rush. The people in the city can be pretty hostile. I witnessed a middle age lady wind down her car window and shouted "You son of a bitch!" to a young man who crossed the road recklessly and nearly caused her an accident. Just to make a stronger point, she shouted it twice. Then I saw a woman scolding the toilet cleaner because the cubicle she went to was faulty and she insisted the cleaner do something, but that was totally unnecessary because the other cubicles were quickly emptied and she could have gotten into one of them fast. But we met really nice people too. The service people here are friendly and helpful and the Muni bus drivers, and tram drivers are polite and keen to answer questions, unlike the poor attitude of some bus drivers we have over here. Maybe because most of our bus drivers are poorly paid foreign workers who are forced to work long hours and made to live in undesirable conditions (think SMRT drivers), whereas the drivers here are locals who have a pride in their jobs. It is really a pity that our country choose to be carrot heads and want to squeeze us citizens dry by raising fares for a bus service that is way less than satisfactory and accommodate some multi million profit transport company. Can somebody tell this Lui guy that "privatising" a "public transport" is an oxymoron? I wonder how many screw ups this government can do before the next elections. Oh well, they have 4 years to screw things up further.
On the first day out of town, we went to Lombard street, the crookedest street in the world. I wonder who would think of building a street like that... the cars are really challenging the crooked and steep street, driving from top to bottom. I'm glad we didn't bring the pram that day coz the slope is really steep and I pity the Chinese mother carrying the baby pram down the slope. Lucky her family member is holding her baby. Then we took a cruise to get close to the Golden Gate bridge. This is really romantic. Baby was asleep in my arms when we were on the cruise. It was better that way because the wind is really strong and chilly. We managed to see some sea lions resting on the planks by the bay but they were rather far away. The cruise ride was great and the magnificent bridge against the sunset is pretty!
Baby's feet were really cold when we went home although we put on socks, shoes and layers of clothes on him, so that the next day, we got him a good pair of winter shoes. Its pretty cheap, only USD 19.90.
Yesterday, we went to the Golden Gate Park and the California Academy of Sciences was totally awesome! One would wonder what the hell our Science Centre and Discovery centre is doing! Kieran totally enjoyed. He got to see large fishes swimming right infront of him, and he got to touch a Galapagos giant tortoise sculpture, see real penguins, large stingrays and baby sharks swimming gracefully, dancing jellyfishes that changes its colour every second like a computer screensaver, crawl around an interactive virtual place to catch virtual bugs, and amazes us and the reindeer caretaker by saying "deer!" when we showed him the reindeers and taught him how to say it for the first time! Its my first time seeing such a well planned and beautifully designed Science & discovery centre. Wonderful.
After that we went to the Japanese Tea garden. Couldn't managed to get to the Conservatory of flowers coz its too late. It was a pleasant and peaceful walk in the garden but it was rather small, and the tix are pricey for a small place. That evening was pretty scary because we couldn't manage to get a cab at the Golden Gate Park after 5pm. We are lucky a Chinese cab driver happened to drive in and picked us up. 2 elderly ladies saw and thought we boarded the cab they called and shouted to us but the driver insisted he didn't take any calls. The driver is a nice guy. The Chinese here are mostly Cantonese, and they tend to help each other or other foreign Chinese. Most of the streets along the Chinatown area has Chinese names and instructions and their names are pretty interesting like "Yun Yun seamstress" and "Wang Tea House".
Today was shopping day. We went to shop along Hayes street, and bought quite a bit of nice stuff. A magnetic toy, a toy robot that moves when you wind it and has sensors to prevent falling off tabletops, Levis jeans and clothes for baby, old Navy clothes for Kieran's friends, and a good bargain for a winter wear for a dad. Then we got to Macy's Men after dinner and got shirts, pants, shoes at a good bargain for hubby. A really relaxing and happy day.
We had tried the Muni buses that runs on cables but not on rails, the cable cars or trams that run on cables ad rails, and the metro that goes underground, all on our city passes. It is an amazing experience and I'm glad hubby planned it all well. I must say the City passes that we bought and the T mobile sim card that allows 3G on hubby's smart phone really helps a lot in getting us around San Francisco easily.
We can't really visit the nature parks although that would be my favourite thing to do because we are having baby along with us, and we'll have to wait until he's older to do that.
I can't wait to bring dear baby, when he's of school going age, to Australia where we can feed the Kangeroos and wallabies in the Zoos, and visit nature reserves, see penguins in the wild, and have fun, basically. Who says babies can't enjoy a holiday when he goes overseas under 6 years of age? He giggles at the grey squirrel at the Japanese tea garden, he's amused by dogs (some dogs resemble bears more as their really huge and furry), he loves the fishes in the Aquarium, he makes holiday fun when he interacts with people, and he learns new words like "deer" and "milk" along this journey!
I'm looking forward to going to Fisherman's Wharf tomorrow where we can visit the Aquarium of the Bay, possibly see some sea lions up close and walk along the streets of the Bay. And we'll also do some shopping in the afternoon and evening. SHops here close late. 11pm just now, there are still lots of people on the streets. A city never sleeps.
Did I mention baby points of the man in the US dollar note and says "Yee ahhh!" He looked proud of himself but I was so embarrassed and quickly kept the note. Coz "Yee ahhh" in my Kieran's language means "monkey"...
Baby's nap and sleep time is all topsy turvy now. But he's extremely obedient and we are so lucky to have such a dearie little boy! He sleeps through all the take offs and landings and we have 2 of each as we need to do a transit in Korean international airport. I pity the mummies of those babies who were crying their hearts out due to the ear discomfort.
He's really active and managing him on the plane isn't easy but really boys are like that. Everyone who sees him says he's cute and handsome :) Between breastfeeding, carrying him around, entertaining him, letting him sleep on my lap, breasts, arms, I still managed to watch 2.5 movies and eat my lunches, breakfast and dinner properly. Lucky we also brought his favourite toys and some new ones on board with us. And not to forgot, moisturising cream and baby nose spray is a must. We adults need to use these too. Long hours of dryness on the plane is no joke.
In San franz, we went to hotel to rest and then went supermarket shopping for breakfast for tomorrow and water for the rest of the days. Of course we also got lunch at the Loving Hut, a vegan food stall at Westfield shopping mall. The spicy noodle is great! So good that baby refuses his baby food and insisted on eating ours. Interesting, on the first day, we felt kind of giddy and as if the world is shaking. We thought its because of the aftermath of long hours of flight but when we saw the water in the bottles shaking on the supermarket racks, we knew the world really IS shaking. Kind of worrying... but we got over it on the second day and its as if the world stops shaking, or rather we have gotten used to the shaking.
We saw people of different races on the road. A cab driver told us almost 50% of people here are Chinese, and that's because historically, the Chinese came to San Francisco first before the Whites during the Gold Rush. The people in the city can be pretty hostile. I witnessed a middle age lady wind down her car window and shouted "You son of a bitch!" to a young man who crossed the road recklessly and nearly caused her an accident. Just to make a stronger point, she shouted it twice. Then I saw a woman scolding the toilet cleaner because the cubicle she went to was faulty and she insisted the cleaner do something, but that was totally unnecessary because the other cubicles were quickly emptied and she could have gotten into one of them fast. But we met really nice people too. The service people here are friendly and helpful and the Muni bus drivers, and tram drivers are polite and keen to answer questions, unlike the poor attitude of some bus drivers we have over here. Maybe because most of our bus drivers are poorly paid foreign workers who are forced to work long hours and made to live in undesirable conditions (think SMRT drivers), whereas the drivers here are locals who have a pride in their jobs. It is really a pity that our country choose to be carrot heads and want to squeeze us citizens dry by raising fares for a bus service that is way less than satisfactory and accommodate some multi million profit transport company. Can somebody tell this Lui guy that "privatising" a "public transport" is an oxymoron? I wonder how many screw ups this government can do before the next elections. Oh well, they have 4 years to screw things up further.
On the first day out of town, we went to Lombard street, the crookedest street in the world. I wonder who would think of building a street like that... the cars are really challenging the crooked and steep street, driving from top to bottom. I'm glad we didn't bring the pram that day coz the slope is really steep and I pity the Chinese mother carrying the baby pram down the slope. Lucky her family member is holding her baby. Then we took a cruise to get close to the Golden Gate bridge. This is really romantic. Baby was asleep in my arms when we were on the cruise. It was better that way because the wind is really strong and chilly. We managed to see some sea lions resting on the planks by the bay but they were rather far away. The cruise ride was great and the magnificent bridge against the sunset is pretty!
Baby's feet were really cold when we went home although we put on socks, shoes and layers of clothes on him, so that the next day, we got him a good pair of winter shoes. Its pretty cheap, only USD 19.90.
Yesterday, we went to the Golden Gate Park and the California Academy of Sciences was totally awesome! One would wonder what the hell our Science Centre and Discovery centre is doing! Kieran totally enjoyed. He got to see large fishes swimming right infront of him, and he got to touch a Galapagos giant tortoise sculpture, see real penguins, large stingrays and baby sharks swimming gracefully, dancing jellyfishes that changes its colour every second like a computer screensaver, crawl around an interactive virtual place to catch virtual bugs, and amazes us and the reindeer caretaker by saying "deer!" when we showed him the reindeers and taught him how to say it for the first time! Its my first time seeing such a well planned and beautifully designed Science & discovery centre. Wonderful.
After that we went to the Japanese Tea garden. Couldn't managed to get to the Conservatory of flowers coz its too late. It was a pleasant and peaceful walk in the garden but it was rather small, and the tix are pricey for a small place. That evening was pretty scary because we couldn't manage to get a cab at the Golden Gate Park after 5pm. We are lucky a Chinese cab driver happened to drive in and picked us up. 2 elderly ladies saw and thought we boarded the cab they called and shouted to us but the driver insisted he didn't take any calls. The driver is a nice guy. The Chinese here are mostly Cantonese, and they tend to help each other or other foreign Chinese. Most of the streets along the Chinatown area has Chinese names and instructions and their names are pretty interesting like "Yun Yun seamstress" and "Wang Tea House".
Today was shopping day. We went to shop along Hayes street, and bought quite a bit of nice stuff. A magnetic toy, a toy robot that moves when you wind it and has sensors to prevent falling off tabletops, Levis jeans and clothes for baby, old Navy clothes for Kieran's friends, and a good bargain for a winter wear for a dad. Then we got to Macy's Men after dinner and got shirts, pants, shoes at a good bargain for hubby. A really relaxing and happy day.
We had tried the Muni buses that runs on cables but not on rails, the cable cars or trams that run on cables ad rails, and the metro that goes underground, all on our city passes. It is an amazing experience and I'm glad hubby planned it all well. I must say the City passes that we bought and the T mobile sim card that allows 3G on hubby's smart phone really helps a lot in getting us around San Francisco easily.
We can't really visit the nature parks although that would be my favourite thing to do because we are having baby along with us, and we'll have to wait until he's older to do that.
I can't wait to bring dear baby, when he's of school going age, to Australia where we can feed the Kangeroos and wallabies in the Zoos, and visit nature reserves, see penguins in the wild, and have fun, basically. Who says babies can't enjoy a holiday when he goes overseas under 6 years of age? He giggles at the grey squirrel at the Japanese tea garden, he's amused by dogs (some dogs resemble bears more as their really huge and furry), he loves the fishes in the Aquarium, he makes holiday fun when he interacts with people, and he learns new words like "deer" and "milk" along this journey!
I'm looking forward to going to Fisherman's Wharf tomorrow where we can visit the Aquarium of the Bay, possibly see some sea lions up close and walk along the streets of the Bay. And we'll also do some shopping in the afternoon and evening. SHops here close late. 11pm just now, there are still lots of people on the streets. A city never sleeps.
Did I mention baby points of the man in the US dollar note and says "Yee ahhh!" He looked proud of himself but I was so embarrassed and quickly kept the note. Coz "Yee ahhh" in my Kieran's language means "monkey"...
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
San Francisco family trip!
I can't believe we are really flying to San Francisco tomorrow morning!
Its the first time baby is going on a plane and his first time on the plane is a 16 hour flight with a transit in between. Not easy, definitely!
Hope everything will go well :)
Its the first time baby is going on a plane and his first time on the plane is a 16 hour flight with a transit in between. Not easy, definitely!
Hope everything will go well :)
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Kieran's studio photography!
终于完成了我的一个欲望。。。那就是为宝宝拍studio的照片。看到宝宝可爱的帅帅的照片，背景，道具都这么美丽，拍起来很和谐，我就心里好舒服，好快乐！我的心肝宝贝拍的照一定好看的！呵呵。
Check out little Kieran's photoshoot here! My beloved!
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Selling baby items
Ok, I'm selling baby items again as my baby is not using them anymore.
These teats, as you can see the usual prices at listed but its actually more expensive at the shopping malls now. Letting go at $10 for both or $6 each.
The above 2 bottles letting go at $30.
The above bottle letting go at $15.
All the items are unopened and are brand new.
I'm selling them off, because if you read my blog, my baby refuses to use a bottle and now he's one year old and is using sippy cups and straws and we are not planning on a second one soon... so, selling off to someone who needs them more and wants to save up by buying them more cheaply here! hehe.
You can self collect the items at Punggol. Email me at lyramignon@gmail.com for details on collection.
You can visit my baby clothes site which is selling baby clothes at cheap prices: If you collect them together, you save up on the postage fee! Visit http://www.facebook.com/gigglesbabysg
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