Full term

Today, 1 Aug, baby Caitlin is finally full term. The waiting game begins now.

I wonder which date she will choose to arrive. Hehe. Excited!

I have an appointment with Dr Ho today. We'll be doing heart beat test. I'm eager to meet Caitlin and also because this heavy tummy is tiring me out. I wonder what her weight is now. My appetite is still good, and my tummy has been growing and growing even when she's close to full term. I guess appetite will decrease now that she has already grown to her appropriate size?

Symptoms at this stage:

• Frequent peeing and moving of bowels
• Increased vagina discharge. Sometimes it comes off as big lumps. 
• Fuller breasts. I squeezed. Still got milk although I stopped breastfeeding few months back.
• Insomnia but Kieran always managed to help me with this by making me too tired due to caring for him
• Tiredness
• Hunger (yes, now I still have cravings for food, usually in late afternoon)
• Nausea. That's why I do not dare to eat too much at one go even though I'm hungry.
• Tummy dropped much lower. When I sit down on my dining chair, my tummy touches my thigh. That's how low it is now! I guess Dr Ho will tell me baby is engaged today!
• Felt baby Caitlin giving me awefully strong kicks at top of my uterus, near the lungs, and felt her hicups where my pelvic bones are. So I guess she is still in her wonderful head down position. Please stay that way, dear baby!

Kieran is at school. Today he didn't cry much. He looked rather happy to go to school but he cried because he wants mummy to accompany him inside. I guess he likes the activities, toys and games he gets to play there, and the songs they sing. Just now I peeped in and saw him eating his bread by himself. Very obedient. And later on, after going to the coffee shop for tea and walking back, I peeped in again and saw him concentrating on his construction toys. He loves to assemble and disassemble things. That explains why he loves lego so much. Happy to see that he's not crying and doing activities in school.

Last night, he rolled a sticker in his palm and told me he's making "tang yuan" and its tang yuan that cannot be eaten. I guessed his teacher must have taught him that and they must be playing play dough.

Kieran's physcial growth spurt must have ended, but he seemed to be having a brain growth spurt. Nowadays, he couldn't stop talking and couldn't stop asking "what is this?" and he kept wanting to "read book, read book". I just made him recite di zi gui this morning coz he woke up early and he can recite the zong xu. Very happy. I sent the video to hubby and his grand aunt. They'll be proud of him :)

36 weeks 4 days

I'm still eating a lot. Although I had some nausea and breathlessness, that doesn't stop me from eating and eating. Eager to know baby's weight and whether she has engaged during this Thurday's check up. I'll be able to hear her heart beat that day. We are doing a heart beat test for 20 min.

I've a feeling she might be engaged as I've a feeling of something pressing down whenever I get contractions. Frightening feeling coz it feels like baby is being squeezed out.

She has damn strong kicks n punches. Really painful sometimes. I kept video records of her movements. Must show it to her when she's older.

It is 3am + and I couldnt sleep due to hunger. Ate a swissroll & drank milk & took my supplements. I have this feeling that this is preparing me for the middle of the night feeding when Caitlin arrives.

Dreading the newborn caring phase all over again but then again I'm excited and looking forward to seeing baby Caitlin. I just dreamt of her yesterday. She looks gentle and sweet and peaceful. When oh when will she arrive? 1 August or 8 August or right on the EDD 22 Aug?

Baby's head is engaged!

Baby's head is engaged

Today, I met Dr Ho for regular weekly check up again. He did a scan and immediately said baby's head is engaged. I had a feeling baby's head is already in my pelvic bone cavity even before he announced it because the usual symptoms:

1. Increase urge to urinate
2. Feeling baby has "lightened" and tummy looks like it dropped lower
3. Heavy feeling at tummy, walking more like penguin

applied to me over these few days.

Occipito posterior position

Unfortunately, he also said baby is engaged in a face up orientation. This is called the occipito posterior position, where usually, baby faces up when I lie down and his back faces my back towards either right or left side.

The problem with this is that whenever a contraction occurs, baby's head will be forced to tilt in such an angle that it hits against nerves at my spine which causes extreme backache. Dr Ho's suggestion is that I request for epidural once I felt that I cannot tahan the pain. I asked him usually how much dilated should I be when I request for epidural, and he said there's no hard and fast rule, but if I'm 3cm dilated, feeling super painful and there's a long way to go coz cervix dilate only 1cm per hour, then it is advisable to get epidural. If I'm too exhausted when it is time to push, it will be worse.

I asked him whether there's any chance baby will turn to the "correct" position which is face down. He didn't say there will be or there won't be. I guess I need a miracle... or some exercise I can do now to help. I read online that if I could be on my hands and knees for 20min 3 times a day and do pelvic tilt exercise 3 times a day, they can help baby turn face down.

A nurse who usually helped Dr Ho in the doctor's room told me not to worry, just go to pray more at religious hall for baby's head to turn. Hahaha. Everyone I met at Mt Alvernia is so nice and friendly.

Caesarean may not be necessary

He did not say a Caesarean is necessary so we assume it may not be. I read up online that a occipito posterior position does not require Caesarean unless there is fetal distress or other problems. However, like what Dr Ho warned us, it will be a difficult labour. The labour will last longer, the mother will feel more pain with each contraction, and it won't be easy for baby to come out. We placed our trust in Dr Ho. He is very experienced. Pray hard my baby will turn to the Occipito-Anterior position which ensures a higher chance of normal delivery. Aiyoh, most babies' presentation is head first and face down... why my little Kieran choose face up? I was once told my uterus, unlike most women's, is shaped vertically instead of horizontally, so my baby feel more comfortable in a sitting position than in a lying down position in early pregnancy. The radiologist told me during Oscar scan. Perhaps this influenced baby's position in late pregnancy too? I never asked coz hubby only thought of this and brought it up after we came out of the clinic.

More frequent visits to Obstetrician

Today is Thursday. I had to go back to see Dr Ho this Sat. He said he will see me more often, and not wait for a week to see me again because I have history of low fetal movement. My weight also dropped from 60.7 to 60kg today but I'm not sure why. I'm eating well. Perhaps I dressed in lighter clothing or perhaps I ate lesser for lunch today. The nurse said I have to do fetal heartbeat test for every visit (unless doctor say no need to) and its even more necessary today since my weight decreased. I lie down with 2 round disc strapped to my tummy and listen to baby's heartbeat for 20min. There's a record of baby's heartbeat on a chart. So far I've done 3 tests and all 3 are normal. Each test cost extra and are not included in the package though. But cost is not an issue when it comes to safety and health of baby.

Every night, when I lie down and feel baby moving inside me, I felt so nervous and I keep thinking about the labour and the process. As I was doing the heartbeat test in the quiet and small room just now, I felt my own heart beat increase as I imagine that perhaps doctor will advise me to give birth today due to some complications or he'll check and say I'm ready for childbirth already... I certainly do not feel I'm ready for labour yet! BUT I wish baby will come meet us sooner. My feelings are contradicting... I wish baby will give me a very clear sign that he is ready to be out, like some regular contractions or pain or mucous discharge, anything like that, then I will feel more ready to go for labour.

Belly dropped lower

Belly dropped even lower this week. Every night, hubby helped me to do Butterfly stretch. When I sat on the floor (on a pillow), with my legs stretched to the Butterfly stretch post, I realized that my belly were touching my thighs already! Previously it was pretty high up and last week, it never touched my thighs when I do the stretch even though it dropped lower.

No wonder I had to go to the toilet 4 times last night! And some were pretty urgent.

Today, I keep feeling like going toilet even though I went just few minutes ago.

And maybe perhaps I've been switching on the air-con every night recently, my belly got more itchy than it was previously and I unconsciously scratched it too much. Lucky hubby woke me up and reminded me not to do that. I put on more moisturizer. But nowadays, my body temperature rises to really high level and I felt heated up easily so I desperately need the air-con more than anything else.

Last night, as I lie awake on my bed, I imagined myself in the delivery ward, trying to push baby out, imagined the horror of the cervix stretching and baby's head emerging... I imagined holding a soft and small little baby in my arms... Finally the day that all these will happen is arriving and yet I suddenly feel lost. I am supposed to do all these that I heard from people and watched in dramas? It's unbelievable. I read somewhere that God actually made childbirth painless until human committed some sin and we had to undergo painful childbirth. I think the same goes to the menstrual cramp I had, and the only benefit of pregnancy for my body is the absence of that cramp for 10 months. haha... but I guess gradually, we are used to the pain anyway. I envy those who had no menstrual cramp and little pain during childbirth. I wish I am the lucky few! I heard people say the uterus contraction which feels like menstrual cramp will hurt really badly after childbirth... what people call "afterpains". Sigh, pay back time for missing the 10 months of period. I really need the pain relief...