Abuse at Childcare centre

I am horrified at a case of abuse at a Child care centre in Singapore. I'm sure although this case surfaces due to its severity, it is just the tip of the ice berg. There might be more of such things happening behind closed doors which we did not know about.

This is a Childcare centre at Toa Payoh called "My First Skool" run by NTUC.

Links to videos of abuse are here on the parents' facebook page:
Part 1: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151557043991849
Part 2: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151557217131849

And Mr Brown blogged about it: http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2013/07/child-abuse-case-at-first-skool.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+mrbrown+%28mrbrown%29#sthash.J0rUyDMv.gbpl
And the Malay teacher Siti Hadijah, a woman in her 50s, was later arrested, as reported in The Straits Times: http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/police-arrest-childcare-teacher-who-allegedly-caused-injuries-3-year-o

The videos are so heartbreaking! I heard the mother cried and moaned "My child was tortured!" when watching the video captured by CCTV and the father demanding to know why the teacher did that to his boy.

The boy is a 3 year old toddler. He is active and he may not listen to instructions but he did all these because he's a toddler! It's a perfectly normal behaviour for a young child to want to play and jump around, and misbehave. It is totally NOT ok for an adult to insult, slap or slam the child down hard on the floor to stop him from trying to run around and play.

Some of the reactions adults took to children's behaviour are totally irrational but they could not see it and reasoned that they are "disciplining" the child. My friend said her hubby would cane their daughter whenever she goes to play with the powerpoint at their house. I asked her "So after caning, would she stop going to play with it ever again?" She said, no, the daughter still continues to do so. Then why do you keep using the cane when its ineffective? Puzzling, isn't it? Albert Einstein once said that "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Sometimes we just don't THINK.

I hope the teacher can be punished severely and the school and the principal be given serious warning too. This can serve as a strong warning to all Childcare operators and teaching staff.

Any parent considering sending their children to childcare centres have to do their research to find out which one is good and which one is bad. I've heard enough horror stories about Childcare centres.

Centres like My First Skool are generally well thought of by parents, so its surprising that such an abuse case happened there!

I've heard parents complaining about one of the child care centres at Sengkang. The child came home saying "teacher beat, teacher beat". And when I called up that centre, the teacher cannot speak English or understand me, and when I tried speaking Chinese to her, she has a strong Malaysian chinese accent. I guess most centres staff themselves with cheaper foreign labours whom they can make to work long hours, in order to save cost and maximise profit? Anyway this centre is out.

A friend who worked in a childcare centre part time told me she saw the teacher held a boy up by his shirt collar and threw him onto the chair when he ran around after she gave instructions to sit down. When confronted, the teacher said this is the only way to treat the children, otherwise they will be too disobedient. My goodness! This is what a child care teacher thinks? My friend said the centre is clearly over crowded, too many students and too understaffed, and the children are very naughty, running around, going hay wired. When you don't give enough activities to stimulate the children, that's what they do. They don't sit down and guai guai wait for you to instruct them to sit or stand. When the centre is understaffed and curriculum improperly planned, that's what happened. And if you treat the children with aggression, that's what they learnt too. They also became aggressive and unruly.

Another friend who once worked in a local childcare centre said one of teachers locked a boy in the toilet and scolded him, and the principal, being on good terms with the teacher, ignored the situation. That's totally unacceptable. Locking small children in a confined area is really scary for them!

Then I've visited another centre near where I stay and one minute there is enough to tell me its a "No". The Chinese teacher didn't sound like she's teaching Chinese, more like barking instructions, and when she brought the children out to playground, she's constantly scolding the children. And she's the only teacher who brought the children out, no assistants. Understaffed, I guess? And while I was there observing, another teacher, the English teacher was scolding a girl for playing in the toilet or something like that. Its not the problem with scolding but I couldn't see any love in the actions or hear love in the tone of the voice. They don't seem to enjoy their job at all. And this centre's charges are high.

Then I chose to send Kieran for half day to Ci Ai, mainly because its clean as its a new school, students  there are not a lot as its new, and the teaching staff there, as far as I can see, are rather caring. But I'm not taking any chances. I'm peeping in whenever I could to make sure he's ok and the teachers are not harsh on him or other children. Kieran has a great English teacher but she has left for further studies, and he now has a very nice Chinese teacher. He also likes the Centre supervisor who always bring him in during the mornings, and wash his hands, and take him to the breakfast table. He also remembers the songs that the Chinese teacher teaches him, and he sings for us. But there are a few teachers or assistants there who are really fierce and deals with the naughtier children. I saw another teacher scolding a boy in his playgroup who is more active and doesn't listen to instructions as well as they hope he would. I'm glad Kieran can speak well, communicate well with the teachers, listens to instructions (because he can understand what we say and respond accordingly which may not be so for many toddlers yet), and he doesn't like running around. But then afternoon, they will close the windows, pull down the blinds, and let the children nap. And you never know what's happening behind the closed doors. That is why I am very reluctant to let him continue on the afternoon sessions although it would be good for me and other caregivers when our Caitlin is born, and also more rest for me now when I am in the 3rd trimester. Sigh. I hope I can do more for little Kieran and I really hope there's someone else who can help to care for him as well as I do, in my absence. But this is really difficult. Nobody can replace the mother, not even if you engage the best nanny with the highest pay. Who can tolerate the child's tantrums with a forgiving heart and will discipline with the objective of love and not because of anger and frustration, as well as I do? Kieran made me so tired sometimes but as a mother, we just forgive and love.

Made in school

It was Zhong Yuan Jie which is the time when Chinese remembered the great Poet Xu Yuan who gave his life for his country. When I brought Kieran to school, they were telling stories about Zhong Yuan jie and the let the children make dumplings. Kieran brought a small dumpling home and I later let him open it and eat it on his own. I hope he had fun that day :)

Father's Day just passed. We had a great time with dearest daddy. Yun Xuan love daddy so much. He made a nice handicraft for daddy at school! Teacher Lina said he used his fingers to dot the paints onto the tie of the "shirt" and use cotton bud to put glitters on it. I asked Yun xuan whether he did that himself and he said yes. This is daddy's first Father's Day gift from our boy. I told Yilin he's very fortunate. A dad is a son's first hero and a daughter's first love. He is now both a hero and a first love.

By the way, Kieran is officially weaned off mummy's milk milk since 6 June 2013. He breastfed for 20 months. I have the urge to continue to latch him on every time! I love the feeling of latching him and watching his chubby little cheeks as he suck hungrily. It is a way of telling me my baby is still a baby and has not grown into a boy yet. But oh well... I've got to stay firm. Maybe I will reintroduce it to him after Caitlin is born and see if he still accepts it... hehe.

weaning off milk milk

I'm in my 29th week now, and its really time to get Kieran used to sleep without milk milk (latching on to me for breastmilk).

As my breastmilk supply decreases, Kieran does not really ask for milk milk anytime in the day. He drinks formula milk with a bit of milo for added taste. We added milo so that we can coax him to take it as milo and not a replacement for his milk milk, and indeed he takes to it and requests for milo about 3 times a day, and each time 160ml in the morning and 120ml at other times.

But he kind of already associated milk milk with sleep time, and my nipple becomes his pacifier. They can't supply him much food anymore but it works great as a soother for him before he goes to sleep. That is good for him but not good for me! Imagine after giving birth to Caitlin, I still have to nurse Kieran to sleep! I'll be doubly exhausted! So, its weaning off milk milk for the afternoon naps and for night feeds for now.

Kieran couldn't get used to it and started to say "No no no!" and cried when I told him, "Come. Sleepy time, but you must sleep on your own, no milk milk."

I tried to sleep beside him and pat him to sleep but he couldn't get to sleep despite being super tired, so he tossed and turned and cried angrily, even attempting to pinch and bite me if I tried to comfort him. So we have to try another method. Hubby carried him and calmed him down by telling him he will show him the stars (glow in the dark stickers in our room) and then pat him to him as he carried him in his arms. This is not an ideal case as our intention is to train him to go to sleep on his own on his bed. But since he couldn't yet, we just had to settle with this for now. At least we wean him off breastmilk now, and then try to go to the next step which is to get him to sleep on his own.

Kieran's Childcare centre has 4 cases of HFMD since opening. Its a new centre. I'm glad the principal is very open with us regarding this. I checked Kieran's hands today and was worried to find a blister on his palm. Hubby and I discussed a lot about HFMD, I did a lot of research and reading on it, and we thought about how we should deal with it if it really happens to Kieran. The complication is that I'm pregnant now and we know in 3rd trimester, although HFMD will not cause miscarriage, and will not easily pass on to adults anyway, there may have a chance that the newborn baby will get it. And we are also worried that in future, Kieran may pass the virus to his sister while she's still young. After observing for awhile, we decided that it shouldn't be a blister but a mosquito bite because his usual bites look like that, and if its HFMD, he should be having more than one blister. I checked his feet. They are fine. He's having dry and peeling skin on his palms and feet though. I think maybe the antiseptic hand sanitiser the centre uses is too drying for his skin. I've stopped using Kirei Kirei hand wash for him at home too, and uses his body wash to clean his hands. Hopefully the peeling will stop. I also applied some moisturiser on his feet before he sleeps today.

Poor Kieran had to cry so much these few days. Cry during the morning at the school gate coz he wants mummy, cry during the afternoon when he can't get milk milk for his afternoon nap, and cry at night when he can't get milk milk before he sleeps. Oh yes, he also has a old time habit of waking at about 3-4am at night to suckle on the nipple for a few seconds before he goes back to sleep. So now, he still wakes up at 3am to toss and turn. For the past few nights, he can toss and turn for a while and then goes back to sleep on his own but yesterday he was banging on the door and wanting to find mummy for milk milk! Hubby who now sleeps with Kieran instead of me, carried him until he sleeps and then put him back onto his bed. Let's hope tonight will be better, and he won't wake up in the middle of the night but sleeps through!

Kieran is eating a lot lately and has grown quite chubby at his cheeks. Teacher reflected that he could eat a lot at school, and when he returns home, its non stop eating again!

My heart aches whenever I send Kieran to school. I hope for one day when he will tell me he enjoys school and then my heart will not ache so much. Today he did painting with his hands, and music lessons, and he told me he played with cars (he usual favourite). Teacher showed me pictures she took of him doing the activities. She said he's getting better. I do hope so! This week, he started to accept showering at school which is great. I'm glad to know he's improving much. Just hope to see him tearless when I bring him to school and when I bring him home. Now, I'm keeping him to half day schedule. I don't really want him to stay too long in school as I know sleeping on the mattress which will only be washed once a week, will increase chances of him getting viruses which may threaten my unborn baby, and he hasn't really learnt to sleep on his own yet, so it will be lots of unnecessary tears for him if he has to sleep on his own at the child care centre.

That's all for now... Back to sleep time. Super tired! Tomorrow is another trying day...

First day of school

Today is officially Kieran's first day of school. He was eager to go in and play, kept asking me to open the gate, and even said goodbye to me. But when the reality that mummy will not be accompanying him sets in, he cried. The teacher said he had been crying on and off. I peeked at him at the corner of the window. He kept crying and saying "Mummy mummy...". I saw the teacher feeding him a watermelon and told him that after he ate the watermelon mummy will come to bring him home. He said "ok" to teacher and ate the watermelon. Teacher said he talks a lot and ate a bowl of porridge. Teacher fed him to eat. He looked happy when teacher brought him to me. The down side is his water bottle was lost among the stuffs and he refused to drink water because they put water in his milk bottle to feed him and he never drink water from there. Good point about the school is teachers are kind, didn't shout to the kids and will patiently feed them and ensure they eat. I checked his body to ensure that there's no injury and asked him if he had fallen or anything.

I happily bring my little boy home, took him to the playground first, and then home to bath and nurse him to sleep. Poor little boy cried a lot today. I gave him milk and lots of water when he's back.

Hopefully today will be better, and hopefully he won't cry when I am changing him into uniform or bringing him to school tomorrow. Good luck to me!