Caitlin's baby bottle caries?

I'm wondering whether Caitlin has baby bottle caries? After discovering a brown spot on her front teeth (and even before), I've been very diligently brushing her teeth. As soon as she know how to spit out water after rinsing her mouth, I am using a fluoride toothpaste on her twice a day. I have high hopes that her condition will get better and the problematic areas will remineralise. But I was wrong! She had a few more cavities lately! I noticed brown spots on the two upper molars (she only has two upper molars now), and a very obvious cavity on one of the front teeth, and both lateral incisors have one brown spot in front and one brown spot behind and a developing small spot in front! A total of 5 teeth affected! All the brown spots are on the upper set of teeth and her lower set of teeth are cavity free and gleaming white. I read online that THIS means it is baby bottle caries or early childhood caries. But you know what is most ironic about it? She does NOT take a bottle at all! Caitlin is a TBF baby, a TOTAL BREASTFED BABY! So how did this baby bottle caries come about?!

I'm so perplexed. I have read many articles that said nursing baby to sleep is not linked to childhood teeth decay. And yet my breastfed baby has baby bottle caries. I must also say that she probably has the bacteria from her older brother who had cavities treated earlier on. But I thought breastmilk is supposed to have anti-bacteria property? This is worrying me to death and I do not want my daughter to have decayed teeth that will cause her pain and embarrassment later in her childhood. I definitely want to help her remedy the situation NOW. But the problem is how? Must I really quit the night nursing? Nursing to sleep is a die-hard habit for her. I tried to get her to sleep without nursing and she cried her heads off. She's a very headstrong girl. She usually needs to feed once or twice in the middle of the night too. After yesterday's failure, hubby and I thought we'll just continue to nurse her and we'll see the dentist on Tuesday to see what we can do for her. Today, I tried something else. I have got this baby toothpaste that has Xylitol (bacteria fighting sugar found in some toothpaste) that is safe to swallow. So after she fell into deep sleep, I put a smear of the toothpaste on her toothbrush and brushed her teeth. She sucked a bit and then went back to sleep. I dunno if this works in the long term. If I have to wake up to brush her teeth every time after she wake up to nurse and then fall back to sleep, I will do it if it means my daughter's teeth will be protected. I can't reach all the teeth with this method but at least the front ones will be brushed.

Sigh. A mother has endless worries.

I feel so frustrated and beaten because I followed expert advices and did so much for my children, and yet problems cannot be avoided. I'm a really sad and worried mummy. As much as possible I would love to avoid the GA option. I can't bear to see my child go through the risk and the operation. Little Caitlin is not calm and composed like her brother. She screams her head off when we step into the doctor's office, before the doctor even touch her. At the dentist, I don't know what will happen.

Please God, please let my daughter be cooperative and please let her be well!

On the brighter side, Kieran's teeth have since been cavity-free and shining. I made sure I brush his teeth after breakfast, lunch and before sleep, and always floss them clean before bedtime.