Birthday

I'm officially 33 years old today. I don't feel like being 33!

I have two lovely kids (who sometimes aren't very lovely), a great husband who's also a doting father to our kids, a job with nice boss and colleagues, a relatively secure future, parents who are willing to sacrifice themselves to look after my kids while I work, a messy house and a loving home. That's more than what I hope for.

Thank you hubby for the lovely Chef Icon New York Cheese cake. My favourite birthday cake which I request for every year!

Epidural or not? Stay at home or work?

These are the questions swimming around my head nowadays.

Should I opt for epidural or go for no anesthesia? There are mothers who went for epidural and they had some pain relief but cannot feel the push sensation so its difficult to push baby. Many people told me that they went for epidural because childbirth pain is too unbearable. There are also some mothers who told me that it is actually bearable and alright to go for natural birth without epidural.

I am still unsure.

I envy mothers who get to stay at home and take care of their babies after their babies are born. They can breastfeed the babies and not worry about having to leave for work, and they can stay at home and watch the little bundle of joy grow up and be beside them when they learn to talk, crawl, walk and go to preschool. On the other hand, I must also work to provide for him if I want to let him learn piano or violin, go to good preschool, drive him around in a car, go for holidays, go for holiday classes, etc... Besides its more interesting to work than to stay home all day.

However I'm not sure whether now is the time to give myself a second chance to do something that I like instead of to go back to work in an office and get stable salary and working hours.