Mothering

The thing about being a mother is that we are always worrying about our children. I have been telling myself to relax but I really can't. If my child shows a slight indiction that he may be developing a fever, I will panic, and if my child gets a tooth cavity, I will see it as an indication that I am a bad mother, that I haven't been taking good care of the children. Care for the children is never enough. There's always more to be done, more to do, more to perfect, and so on.

Top items in my worry list are now Caitlin's front teeth cavity and Kieran's phonics. I'm trying to see if I can help her teeth remineralise by giving her the appropriate vitamins and starting her on fluoride and xylitol brushing since she now can spit out after gargling. Caitlin is a stubborn and fiery little one. Getting her to accept me brushing her teeth is like fighting a battle with her. I have found a way to get her to cooperate a little bit more, which is to let her watch an iPhone app of a cute panda brushing his teeth and then gargling. I can set the brushing timer to as long as I like. She finds it interesting and often laughs at the silly panda, so I place the phone with the app running in front of the wash basin and coax her into brushing. If she struggles, then well, I have to keep brushing despite her cries. It's sad to see her struggling twice or thrice (sometimes I brush her teeth in the afternoons if we are not outside) everyday during toothbrushing but that is better then seeing more cavities on her teeth. She has about 5 small but noticeable ones on the front teeth. The back molars look alright and all of her lower set of teeth are nice. I don't know how the decay only happens on the front ones.

Kieran is now learning very fast and to help him absorb the good stuff, I'm reading a lot to him, teaching him to recognise simple Chinese words, and to learn to write simple letters and strokes. He's progressing at a snail speed but at least there's progress and he won't go to Kindergarten next year not knowing anything. I'm also teaching him phonics myself using this teaching tool: The ordinary parent's guide to teaching reading. There's an audio companion which I borrowed from the library. While teaching, I also learn valuable lessons on phonics. I'm convinced that phonics help young children read better, and he has to read, otherwise he can't even understand math problems at Primary One. If he don't finish learning phonics by K1, he will confuse it with Han Yu Pin Yin that he will learn in K2.

So being a mother, we have no time to relax. My favourite way to "relax" is sipping hot, bitter-sweet black tea in a cooling air conditioned room, away from the suffocating heat in the rest of the house, and temporarily away from that forever "Mama! Mama!". Sweet black tea works wonder for my soul. 苦中作樂，因為人生就是甜中帶苦，苦中帶甜。

Caring for children's teeth

I'm just sharing some tips by the paediatric dentist on caring for the preschooler's teeth:

• Bring the child to see the dentist when she is young (some recommend when the first teeth sprout) to get her used to seeing one, so that when she needs cleaning or treatment done later on, she's not so afraid. I started bringing Kieran for dental visits when he was two years old. I was a bit late. Many started at one year old or younger.
• Brush the child's teeth three times a day. By this time, the child will have all his baby teeth. And he would have learnt how to spit out water after gargling. So you can brush with a fluoride toothpaste. 
• Use an adult strength fluoride toothpaste. The dentist recommended one with 1400ppm (the strength of fluoride in the toothpaste). We bought one with tutti fruitti flavour at 1350ppm, which is close enough. The fluoride will help to re-calcify the enamel if food/acid/juices decalcify it. This prevents decay. Kieran will not use an adult's toothpaste because of the mint.
• Floss the teeth which are close and tight together as trapped food will cause decay. Kieran's teeth have tiny spaces in between them which the dentist say is great because these are spaces for adult teeth to come in. That is good news for us because it means we only need to floss between those teeth that are tight together which is between the molars and between the two front teeth, total of 5 times.
• Floss at least once at night. I floss whenever his teeth trap food which is after every meals. But then I'm a SAH(Paranoid)M so it's my prerogative. Haha!
• Reduce teeth contact with food/milk/juices. Kieran usually had a bottle of milk to sip throughout the morning. I changed it to lesser amount of milk so that he can finish the milk quickly and brush his teeth. He also took very long to finish his meals so now I time him and coax him to finish his meals within an hour. He has some vitamin gummy bears a few times a week. I let him eat them before lunch, then the sweet stuff will be chomped away while he eat his lunch, and then brushed away after lunch. I also reduced his intake of sugary drinks when we go out. I used to buy him yakult or strawberry milk or fruit juices to drink while he's on the stroller. Now he drinks plain water and he only have these sweet stuff occasionally after meals and then brush after drinking it.

The paediatric dentist said his mouth and gum shape is very good and is genetically determined for a nice set of adult teeth. I hope this means no need for braces. He must have gotten the good genes from his daddy. Hubby has a beautiful set of teeth that look like you know the silhouette logo you see on 黑人牙膏 packaging? Haha!

Now, I'd also like to share some tips from another dentist on getting the preschooler to fill his teeth:

• Prepare him for the treatment. Talk to him about it, show him videos about filling teeth. Tell him that it will be quick and painless (which is true, contrary to what we believe! No, Kieran does not need local anaesthesia at all for his filling. But then again that's because his cavity was shallow. If your child needs a root canal, it will be a different story.)
• Get the calmer parent, and the parent whom the child is less attached to to accompany him into the dentist's room. In my case, it is the daddy. Kieran fussed to see mummy and the dentist and daddy said he could very soon if he will be cooperative. Daddy won't give in to his cries and whims, unlike me! So this is a very good decision, to let Daddy go in for treatment with him.
• When you bring the child for his first visit, let him get used to seeing the dentist and build a rapport with her, and let her do some less scary treatments like cleaning and polishing and checking the teeth. This also allows the child to not be afraid of lying down on the dentist's chair.
• The dentist's clinic has a computer on top that lets him watch cartoons on youtube while she fills his teeth so that's a very good distraction.
• Give a small toy as reward to the child for being brave after he has done his treatment. Kieran has been saying that he wants a doctor's toy set so we got it for him and passed it secretly to the dentist, and the dentist said she will give it to him after he gets his tooth cavity cleaned and filled. He was allowed to hug the toy while she filled his teeth.

I am so happy to see the black spot on his tooth replaced with nice white composite filling. Kieran hated brushing his teeth like all preschoolers but it's our job as parents to make sure he gets his teeth clean no matter how much he hates it. Clean teeth means no toothache, no heart pain, no anxiety and no need to worry about coaxing the child to do dental treatment, and of course, less money spent.

I noticed some greyish spots on his teeth but I guess decalcification has already taken place on some molar crevices, so I'm extra vigilant. Even if it's the festive period now and sugary temptations are everywhere, there can be no slacking off the brushing and flossing for mummy and daddy.