Today is week 7 of the school year 2018.

Caitlin was ok for the 1st week and then she has been crying consistently every morning when we drop her off at school. She started to refuse to go to ballet classes and refuse swimming, which we later really had to withdraw because she's so traumatised, she has been crying EVERYDAY whenever "swimming" was mentioned. I am very reluctant to take her off ballet because she has been rather happy in class until she begins Kindergarten. Maybe her anxiety was related to the starting of school, and a very new change in routine? I think we should hang on for awhile. Although she cries a lot when we drop her off, her teachers said she's alright once lesson begins and my mom said she looks happy when she fetch her from the school gate. I thought starting school late would prevent such crying episodes. I guess things do not go so easily for our headstrong girl.

Kieran has been enjoying weekly swimming. Progress seems to be slow but steady. I am hoping he will be able to swim very well soon. He has been scoring rather well for school spellings. Today he has a Math test. Not sure how he will do for that. Yesterday, I went through the revisions with him and he got all the questions correct. Last night he showed me a shaky front lower tooth. Yippee! Finally he is going to have adult teeth. Many of my group of "Rabbit babies" are experiencing the change and he's the last among them to have shaky baby teeth. My baby is growing up!

The children are sleeping on their own beds, and in their own room now. We got a low bunk bed for them from Palette Box. In the middle of the night, I will sometimes hear a soft "mummy" and will pull a tiny little girl up and settle her in my bed, between hubby and me. Kieran loves his bed and he has never woken up to look for us in the middle of the night. I hope, in a few months' time, we will get peace and quiet in the night.

Happy Birthday Caitlin and Kieran

This year's birthday celebration for both children are again simple yet warm affairs. We ordered their fav ice cream cake with their fav cartoon characters and we invited the grandparents as guests.

Caitlin is FOUR!

Kieran is SIX!

Our happy family, Kieran's Starwars ice cream cake and Lego Starwars fighter and mini figurines (which actually belongs to papa).

At around his birthday, he also graduated from the Yamaha Junior Music Course. We are not continuing him for the JXC course when the children will start to learn their lessons unaccompanied by their parents. However, we will continue to let him learn music and we are planning to buy a piano. This course has given him a great start in music education. When I flipped through the Primary One Music book, I can't help but feel how easy it is compared to the rigorous music training in Yamaha. 

Little Ballerina Caitlin

Nothing is as precious as creating memories with our loved ones.

I attended Caitlin's ballet Open House at Crestar School of Dance. Remember I signed her up for ballet about one plus year back? She was still such a tiny little girl in the bebe ballet class. She has progressed so much and is now doing actual ballet moves! She's following instructions and dancing quite well too! My heart swelled with pride when I see my little pink ballerina dancing happily with her teacher and friends. Recently, she kept saying that she don't want to go ballet but I saw that she actually enjoys it once she's in the class and she would do her ballet steps to show us at home. I would like her to continue enjoying dancing and music.

My pretty girl

Cheeky Princess 

Caitlin the ballerina

Doing a pretty curtsey

One can see from the pictures how adorable the little girls are! No wonder parents are signing up their daughters for ballet! For them to look cute in the outfit! Haha. I do realise that her leg muscles are stronger than her gor gor's. I think ballet does help improve her physique and poise.

Ballet for my Bebe

6 January 2017 is the day I see my little girl bounce happily into her ballet class, listen attentively to her teacher and follow her teacher’s movements. She did not wonder off and she did not cry. She bravely went through the class. The class was a mix of 8 three-to-four-year-old little girls and she was the only black swam among the pink tutus. She bounced longingly to me after the class and she was smiling shyly. How I wish I could accompany her for all ballet classes but too bad it fell on a working day so I have to rely on trusty grandparents to bring her for classes.

Caitlin has been nagging at us to send her for ballet lesson since last year. This year, we finally made the decision to start her on bebe ballet at Crestar.

This is her first school experience and I’m sure she’ll love it. She has been craving for school and same age friends ever since she saw her brother go to Kindergarten last year.

The two loves of my life

Kieran is the love of my life. 

We, as parents may experience unconditional love for our children the moment they are born. But children also give us unconditional love in more ways than we expect.

Today I felt sad for some reason. I guessed it was apparent that I looked sad. Kieran was playing his lego and I told him to come play the piano. He was reluctant. He paused as he considered and told me there are two "forces" in him, one said go and practice piano, one said continue to play. He said the force that said continue to play is stronger. I proceeded to explain to him the consequences of choosing to listen to either "force". I wanted to say if he choose the force that said practice piano, firstly, mummy will be happy, secondly, he will be gaining the knowledge and experience in his brain to play better. If he choose the force that said continue to play, firstly mummy will be sad and secondly, his brain will not learn anything substantial and will only learn playing with lego. But he did not need all these explanation. The moment he heard "mummy will be happy", he immediately ran over to the piano and get ready to practice. I was so touched. I told him all the reasons anyway n I taught him the starting notes for "Starwars main theme" after we practice the Yamaha JMC homework. I said thank you and hugged him afterwards. And allowed him to go back to his creative lego world.

Later, before we slept, Kieran saw that I was still unhappy (although I tried not to appear so, you really can't hide from a HSC), and he told me, mummy if you are feeling unhappy, take a deep breath- breathe in, breathe out. Try try! Now, do you feel better? I said yes and laughed and we asked who taught him that? He said his teacher did. So thankful that he learnt this in school.

Caitlin is the cutest little love of my life. She would talk in the cutest way. When she saw small adorable animals in the Zoo, she squealed and cock her head to a side, and said "I feel like pinching their chubby cheeks and say so cute!"

When she saw that I was sad, she won't say much. She will just give me a kiss on the cheek to drive the sadness away. I love her thoughtfulness and her sensitivity to my feelings.

What I like about her most is her orderliness and her independence. She would keep the toys in order and eat her meals eagerly.

She likes to pretend that she's still a baby and she will snuggle up to me and pretend to cry like a baby. I enjoy it. I want to snuggle and cuddle and coddle my lovely children for as long as possible. I tell them they were loved the moment they were conceived in my tummy.

Caitlin looked at my reproachfully and said I scolded her many times and she was sad when I scolded her. I hugged her and told her not to just remember those times that we scolded her but remember those sweet moments we enjoyed together, that mummy kissed and hugged and took care of her. She hugged me and smiled.

What sensible and beautiful children I have.

Bedtime Stories

Kieran loves stories about battles, monsters, spooky stuff and the bad guys winning (interestingly, because he empathise with the bad guys). Sometimes he conjures up exciting tales with them.

Caitlin would snuggle up to me and scream at her brother to stop because she’s scared of the monsters, spooky creatures and fighting in his stories. She particularly hates stories about people hurting or dying. 

There was once daddy told them a story about “The boy who cried wolf” and she sobbed sadly because she thought the baby lambs were eaten by the wolf. Kieran was unperturbed by the story and enjoyed the moral behind it.

I’ll tell Kieran to please not mention fighting or scary monsters and spooky things when Mei mei is around, listening. I’ll proceed to tell them a story about two adventurous children, a boy and a girl, who go around helping friends in need (who are usually cute and defenseless little forest animals) and save them from bullies (who are usually huge and fierce carnivores). Sometimes those huge animals are nice although they look big and fierce, like elephants, huge eagles or vegetarian tigers. Kieran find these stories very tasteless because the good guys always win and there’s not enough scary factor in them. Mei mei would squeal at the description of the cute forest animals and smile when they were saved, especially when they were reunited with their anxious mothers. She loves stories about babies going back to and snuggling with their mummies.

The thought of my little Kieran growing up and being gradually independent filled me with pride and loss at the same time. I love so much to hold that small hand in mine as we walk, and look at his cheeky grin and gleeful face when we were talking about something he loves.

I thought of my baby Caitlin, dressing like a ballerina and trying to pirouette. She has the loveliest smile ever. She is so small and cuddly, and her face is round and chubby. I want to hold her in my arms and snuggle her to sleep every night.

I love to take photos of them in our daily lives. I will flip through those photos while at work. I love reminiscing those lovely moments together.

About my preschoolers

Caitlin, my little princess is finally three. Kieran is coming to five. I've been a mother for five years. Motherhood has been a long roller coaster ride. Life is a journey of self discovery but motherhood kind of expedited the process.

A while ago, I went to Clark Quay and I had the fortune to sit by the river and watch the boats of tourists ride pass, and the colourful painted shophouses along the river banks. Life is good when there are small pockets of personal space and time here and there. Too much of it, and life will be a bore; too little of it, and life will be a chore. Hey, it rhymes! I can be a poet too. Haha!

This picture of my lovely girl smelling a rose, makes me smile. I love it when my family gets in touch with Nature. Nature brightens our hearts and lightens our loads.

Suddenly, my little boy seem such a grown up. We wouldn't be able to plan two hectic trips in a day when he was small. But now, it is much easier. He had been cooperative, even nice, and obliging throughout.

At night, when we sleep, Kieran would ensure that my head is on a pillow and that I am well settled before I sleep. He would look lovingly at his sister (although tonight, she reciprocated will a snarl and threatened to bite because she was in a cranky sleepy mood), and said "Goodnight" to his daddy. Elaine Aron said parenting a HSC has its ups and downs, and it all comes in a package, so we have got to accept it as a whole. I totally get it. I am going to embrace his uniqueness and his virtues, and work at encouraging him to overcome his fears. Hubby said if we coddle him, he won't be able to survive in the army (SG has compulsory enlistment for all SG boys, unless he wins Olympic Gold medal like J Schooling). I disagree. He's a preschooler. He has 14 years ahead of him to prepare himself for National Service (army enlistment). He will be loved and be treated as a preschooler for now. When he is ready to face the challenge, we will face it with him. We do not need to worry about him not being able to survive the harsh realities in army camps because we will be there to prepare him for it. We will be there to walk the journey with him. Let children be children, let men be men. When it is time to cuddle, we will not let the chance go by. When it is time to let go, we will do so with joy.

One day to Caitlin's 3 year old birthday

3 years ago, today, it was a day both hubby and I looked forward to. We were thrilled when we knew we were going to have a girl. We dreamt of dressing her up, tying her hair, hearing her sweet voice and cuddling her close. Caitlin was born on 2 August, morning. She completed our small family.

Caitlin was a feisty little one. She cried so loudly at the nursery that I was afraid the nurses would dislike her. Kieran meowed like a cat when he cried and he seemed easily satisfied (only in the beginning, I must clarify).

Today, Caitlin had runny nose and she was running a low grade fever. Today, was one of the saddest day in my life. I didn't know where to begin, and I didn't want to put too many negative things here so that I will continue to be reminded of the sad moments. I didn't know whether I was appreciated but I am always thinking of sacrificing myself so that my husband and/or my children will have a better and more comfortable life. It is so devastating to learn, from many months back, that no matter how much I sacrifice, my husband and my children can never have the perfect life that they ought to have. Today my husband was again, very frustrated with and got very firmed with Kieran. Kieran, being a HSP, was extremely hurt by his strict, cold and firm commands. Those words and tone of voice sounded extremely disrespectful to me. I asked him whether he would like it if I use those commanding tones and words on him every day, like what he did to our son. My husband would get physical problems almost daily and we did not know the cause after seeking advices from medical specialists. I guess he is simply not suitable to care for young children. I get exhausted with taking care of our young children, and I am appreciative of assistance from him. But now I am thinking whether it would be better if we alter our living arrangements so that he don't have to be in charge of our children's daily life. It might be better for his health and also, better for our children because then he won't be hurting them, especially Kieran who is more sensitive, more aware, more easily hurt, and whom I felt so much affinity with, because most likely, he is very like me - we feel the same way and so we hurt the same way. We are both highly sensitive. Unlike him, I have learnt to mask my high sensitivity, and found coping mechanisms to deal with the cruel and callous world. I had learnt to hate my sensitivity, and to believe that high sensitivity is weak, frail and incapable. My parents were not sensitive people and my father, the most important role model in my life, has taught me that to be sensitive is to be a weakling. Kieran is pure and innocent. He has the chance to appreciate his sensitive nature, and learn to love himself the way that I never had for myself. I recognise the importance of teaching him the ways of our world but at the same time, I do not want him to deny his uniqueness. I wish that he could learn to love his sensitivity and make use of his uniqueness to make our world a better place. "HSP are a gift to our world," Elaine Aron said. I am not sure. I wanted to say, "I wish my son would proof that statement for me." But I realised how wrong that would be. If I as a HSP, cannot proof that I am a gift to our world, how can I ask of my child to do that? I only feel like a shield now, always trying to protect my children from the harm that others unknowing project onto them.

Caitlin's baby bottle caries?

I'm wondering whether Caitlin has baby bottle caries? After discovering a brown spot on her front teeth (and even before), I've been very diligently brushing her teeth. As soon as she know how to spit out water after rinsing her mouth, I am using a fluoride toothpaste on her twice a day. I have high hopes that her condition will get better and the problematic areas will remineralise. But I was wrong! She had a few more cavities lately! I noticed brown spots on the two upper molars (she only has two upper molars now), and a very obvious cavity on one of the front teeth, and both lateral incisors have one brown spot in front and one brown spot behind and a developing small spot in front! A total of 5 teeth affected! All the brown spots are on the upper set of teeth and her lower set of teeth are cavity free and gleaming white. I read online that THIS means it is baby bottle caries or early childhood caries. But you know what is most ironic about it? She does NOT take a bottle at all! Caitlin is a TBF baby, a TOTAL BREASTFED BABY! So how did this baby bottle caries come about?!

I'm so perplexed. I have read many articles that said nursing baby to sleep is not linked to childhood teeth decay. And yet my breastfed baby has baby bottle caries. I must also say that she probably has the bacteria from her older brother who had cavities treated earlier on. But I thought breastmilk is supposed to have anti-bacteria property? This is worrying me to death and I do not want my daughter to have decayed teeth that will cause her pain and embarrassment later in her childhood. I definitely want to help her remedy the situation NOW. But the problem is how? Must I really quit the night nursing? Nursing to sleep is a die-hard habit for her. I tried to get her to sleep without nursing and she cried her heads off. She's a very headstrong girl. She usually needs to feed once or twice in the middle of the night too. After yesterday's failure, hubby and I thought we'll just continue to nurse her and we'll see the dentist on Tuesday to see what we can do for her. Today, I tried something else. I have got this baby toothpaste that has Xylitol (bacteria fighting sugar found in some toothpaste) that is safe to swallow. So after she fell into deep sleep, I put a smear of the toothpaste on her toothbrush and brushed her teeth. She sucked a bit and then went back to sleep. I dunno if this works in the long term. If I have to wake up to brush her teeth every time after she wake up to nurse and then fall back to sleep, I will do it if it means my daughter's teeth will be protected. I can't reach all the teeth with this method but at least the front ones will be brushed.

Sigh. A mother has endless worries.

I feel so frustrated and beaten because I followed expert advices and did so much for my children, and yet problems cannot be avoided. I'm a really sad and worried mummy. As much as possible I would love to avoid the GA option. I can't bear to see my child go through the risk and the operation. Little Caitlin is not calm and composed like her brother. She screams her head off when we step into the doctor's office, before the doctor even touch her. At the dentist, I don't know what will happen.

Please God, please let my daughter be cooperative and please let her be well!

On the brighter side, Kieran's teeth have since been cavity-free and shining. I made sure I brush his teeth after breakfast, lunch and before sleep, and always floss them clean before bedtime.

Mothering

The thing about being a mother is that we are always worrying about our children. I have been telling myself to relax but I really can't. If my child shows a slight indiction that he may be developing a fever, I will panic, and if my child gets a tooth cavity, I will see it as an indication that I am a bad mother, that I haven't been taking good care of the children. Care for the children is never enough. There's always more to be done, more to do, more to perfect, and so on.

Top items in my worry list are now Caitlin's front teeth cavity and Kieran's phonics. I'm trying to see if I can help her teeth remineralise by giving her the appropriate vitamins and starting her on fluoride and xylitol brushing since she now can spit out after gargling. Caitlin is a stubborn and fiery little one. Getting her to accept me brushing her teeth is like fighting a battle with her. I have found a way to get her to cooperate a little bit more, which is to let her watch an iPhone app of a cute panda brushing his teeth and then gargling. I can set the brushing timer to as long as I like. She finds it interesting and often laughs at the silly panda, so I place the phone with the app running in front of the wash basin and coax her into brushing. If she struggles, then well, I have to keep brushing despite her cries. It's sad to see her struggling twice or thrice (sometimes I brush her teeth in the afternoons if we are not outside) everyday during toothbrushing but that is better then seeing more cavities on her teeth. She has about 5 small but noticeable ones on the front teeth. The back molars look alright and all of her lower set of teeth are nice. I don't know how the decay only happens on the front ones.

Kieran is now learning very fast and to help him absorb the good stuff, I'm reading a lot to him, teaching him to recognise simple Chinese words, and to learn to write simple letters and strokes. He's progressing at a snail speed but at least there's progress and he won't go to Kindergarten next year not knowing anything. I'm also teaching him phonics myself using this teaching tool: The ordinary parent's guide to teaching reading. There's an audio companion which I borrowed from the library. While teaching, I also learn valuable lessons on phonics. I'm convinced that phonics help young children read better, and he has to read, otherwise he can't even understand math problems at Primary One. If he don't finish learning phonics by K1, he will confuse it with Han Yu Pin Yin that he will learn in K2.

So being a mother, we have no time to relax. My favourite way to "relax" is sipping hot, bitter-sweet black tea in a cooling air conditioned room, away from the suffocating heat in the rest of the house, and temporarily away from that forever "Mama! Mama!". Sweet black tea works wonder for my soul. 苦中作樂，因為人生就是甜中帶苦，苦中帶甜。

Swollen Eye

Poor little Caitlin has a swollen eye! I was shocked to see that she woke up one morning and one eye was red and swollen. I brought her to the GP downstairs who prescribed antibiotic, and constantly assured me, the anxious, worried and frightened mother, that she do not need any eye drop or wash. So I gave her two doses of the antibiotic that day (once in morning and once at night) but the next day, the swelling got worse. The upper and lower eyelids were so swollen that her eye look permanently shut! So we went to the GP again who referred her to KKH.

Here's the answers I got from the doctor at KKH.

• It's not contagious.
• It's an infection of the eyelid, most likely due to her excessive rubbing of the eye when there is a broken skin on the lid. He suspected the broken skin is due to insect bite, mosquito or something else.
• It should get better in two days. If not, we have to go back to the eye clinic. We were given an appointment in case we need to return.
• Caitlin has a stubbornness to reject medicine and spit it out while we feed it to her. So if she continue to reject the medicine and the swelling persists, she has to be admitted to hospital and be put on drip.

So when we come home, hubby changed the bed sheet and vacuumed the bed. Maybe she was bitten by an insect while she was sleeping, maybe not, but we are not taking any chances! I just mopped the floor with tea tree essential oil yesterday. Every night starting from yesterday night, I diffuse lavender essential oil to ward off the mosquitoes and hope we all enjoy a better sleep.

The experience at KKH was quite good. The waiting time was long but the process seamless. There was a flat charge of $103 for children emergency cases that included doctor's consultation, blood test, urine test, medicine etc. But when I was purchasing the medicine from the pharmacy, I was told that I have to pay for the amoxicillin antibiotic as it is not a standard drug. Standard drugs, like paracetamol, are free. I hope more drugs can be subsidised. This could make a big difference to low income families.

Pray hard that Caitlin get well soon!

Caitlin, 20 months

The problem with his little toddler is that she is super clingy to me. I'm her source of comfort and food which never fails to sooth her day or night, on demand at any time whenever I'm in her sight. So as long as she sees me, she will fuss for "Ma ma! Ma ma! Milk!" Sigh. My parents said that when I leave her with them, she is totally a perfect little angel, she will play by herself, play with her gor gor and she won't cry and fuss.

Speech Milestones:

She can speak a lot of words now.
She can call everybody in the family including "gu po" and "ye ye".
She can tell people what she wants and what she doesn't. Boy, she's very obstinate on what she thinks is right! A typical conversation goes like this:

Mummy points to picture of a camel and says, "Mei mei, camel!"
Caitlin shakes head in disagreement, "Horse!"
Mummy says, "No, camel."
Caitlin says, "horse!"
Mummy says, "Camel."
Caitlin stamps her feet and shouts, "Horse!"
Mummy says, "Ok, horse."
Caitlin nods, "Horse."

The same goes for duck and goose (I say goose, she says duck when it's obviously a goose!).
When gor gor snatches her things or shouts at her, she looks pitiful, points at him and complains to me "Gor gor! Gor gor!"

She likes to use her sweet girly voice to say "Share share?" whenever Kieran disallow her to play with his toys or when I disallow her to play with my iPhone. Very smart girl. The sweet voice and cute face just melt your heart and make you so incline to say yes.

Physical Milestones:

She's rather petite but she's within the normal weight and height range, and she looks chubby. So we are not worried.
She can climb up the playground slide, ladder, anything with little assistance. Very agile and active. Kieran wasn't as brave and agile at her age.Caitlin rushes to the playground and squeal in delight. Kieran would look fearful and stand by to observe before he decides its safe to climb up the playground ladder.

Finally visited Jia Jia & Kai Kai!

On the first day of 2015, we brought the kids to see Kieran's favourite Panda at River Safari. Mei mei was excited and called them "Da!" for Panda. Kieran was intrigued by all the animals at the River Safari and he was especially excited when we went for the river cruise (boring for us adults but not for kids coz it's Kieran's first boat ride, not counting the one we had in San Francisco because he was sleeping throughout). I smiled at the excitedly jumping up and down, giggling and smiling little Kieran as he went to board the boat with us.

Pictures below!

Cute Kai Kai!

The Red Pandas

Caitlin saying "I want!"

Panda Bao (Cost $3!)

On the River Cruise

Happy Kieran on River Cruise

Little explorer using his binoculars to see the far away animals (yes, they are ahem really very far away. One reason why the boat ride is damn lame)

Piranhas with it's beautiful shining scales

I do like Zoo trips for the fun and education they provide but we really need to rethink whether it is necessary to enclose animals for our viewing pleasure. I am alright if the animal is bred in the Zoo but if the animal has been captured and taken rudely from it's lovely native home in the wild, it doesn't seem so good, especially if the Zoo enclosure is so small. I noticed that the Red Pandas are prancing around. I don't know if this is a typical red panda behaviour or whether it is a behaviour caused by extreme boredom due to lack of space and freedom. Some of the marine animals have small enclosures, and those Giant Arowanas and Sting Rays, although they have large tanks to swim in, it must be boring and small compared to the ocean they once roam (assuming they are from the wild). After reading this article "9 Reasons Why Fish Are Really Sad ‘Pets’", it makes me think twice about keeping fish in enclosures. After all, they are sensitive and social creatures too.

For parents who want to bring the children to see the Pandas, do remember to bring jackets for them and yourselves because the Panda enclosure is freeeeeezing! Oh, and remind them to be very quiet when they are inside because Jia Jia and Kai Kai will hide and not come out to play when they are frightened by loud noises.

Lots of Pictures!

Mummy and Daddy took pictures with the lovely kids on a lazy Saturday afternoon.

The children painting together! This is Caitlin's first time playing with brushes.

We visited my friend's new house and here is Kieran with his friend Jodi who is only a few months younger than him.

Hubby and I go for USS trip without the kids. We had super good fun! It's good to take a break away from parenting and enjoy ourselves as a couple. This is a very very rare chance for us! All thanks to my parents for agreeing to help take care of our kids.

Updates on the kids!

I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO BLOG!

Time to update this blog...

Phew... Taking care of 2 children isn't easy. Even with my mom here to help on weekdays.

Little baby Caitlin is now 7 weeks 3 days old.

She's a little darling. She's STILL in the eat, sleep, pee & poo phase. Thank goodness. She's a rather peaceful baby and easy to care for although there's one thing that isn't easy... When she's hungry, she don't give warning. She'll suddenly wake up from sleep, and give a sudden and loud and shrill cry which escalates to scream within minutes if milk isn't served. My mom said she's a fierce girl!

I'm a little sad that she didn't inherit her daddy's eyes and nose. Never mind, she's still our pretty princess.

She's 4.3kg at 6 weeks. Doctor said she's on 25th-50th percentile during her check up and first vaccination at Sengkang Polyclinic.

Babies grow up so quickly. She could fit into many of the 0-3 months rompers now, and even though the 3-6 months romper looks big on her, she could wear them too.

Breastfeeding is a breeze. Really easy for a second time mom who has breastfed the older child to toddlerhood.

Now Kieran.

I tried giving the breast to Kieran and once put it into his mouth and ask him to suck. He smiles shyly whenever I ask him to try. And he kept refusing. One time, he tried and I felt him sucking it like sucking the straw. He only sucked once and said he don't want it.

I enjoy hugging my little Kieran. He's so much fun! He could sing and recite all of the nursery rhymes and the poems we taught him, even the Hokkien ones! I watched him play with his cars, trucks, legos, everything with wheels, noisily making zroooom, zrooooom, beep beep sounds, and I wondered how long can he be in such adorable and innocent phase? He asked me to pat him to sleep, and he turned around to say "bye bye ah gong, bye bye mah" in such a sweet manner that my parents laughed. Sometimes he will say bye bye to his cars and trucks and tell them that he will play with them later. He held on to my blouse, followed behind me and sing the choo choo train song as he walked. When he first learnt to walk, he used to say "walk nat, walk nat, walk nat." when he hold my hand and happily walk around with me. He invented the words himself. Many months later, now, he suddenly say "walk nat, walk nat" as he held my hand and lead me into a room. He hadn't held my hand to walk in the house for a very long time since he could walk by himself. Now that he could explain himself, I asked him what he means by "walk nat". He thought for a very long time and then replied "Walk walk lor." LOL.

At one year old, Kieran could vocalise sounds to mean different objects like "ah per" for apple and "mah" for mummy.

At 13 months, he could call everyone. He could call "mama, papa, ah gong, ah mah, nai nai, yeye, gu po, etc".

Before he's 18 months, he could already name all objects correctly, and if you tell him something, he repeats after you. At first he could only say 2 syllabus like "helicopter", he would say "hop ter" but gradually, he spoke 3 syllabus. He repeats after you when you talk to him, and he will laugh and giggle, but he didn't actually reply you.

At 19 months, one day, when I was tidying the room and moving a clothes rack, he came to "help" and move the clothes rack too. I told him "it's dangerous!" Kieran turned to look meaningfully at me when I said that, and I thought he would repeat after what I said. Instead, he surprised me by replying, "No lah." And I surprised him by laughing out loud. From then onwards, he could reply our questions meaningfully. At 19 months, he could actually have a conversation with us. If you ask him "Kieran, is this a pear?", he no longer repeats "pear" after you. He would reply "Yes, pear." or "No, banana"

At 20 months, he could recite the entire nursery rhymes from memory. We were fooling around, hubby, Kieran and I at the living room, and Kieran suddenly sang "San Lun Che" (三轮车) and pronounced the words so well! Yilin and I were so surprised, we stopped to listen and clapped loudly after Kieran's done. He laughed and continued to talk and sing more. He really couldn't stop talking once he started.

At 22 months, he could talk in full sentences and he replied you intelligently if you called him on a telephone and talk to him. He could tell you what he learnt in school, and where he went, and who bought what for him, and who taught him which song.

So its a great pleasure playing with and talking to little Kieran. He loves hugs and cuddles and he'll often run to me and hug me. He's such a darling! I'm sure little Caitlin will also grow up a talker with her older brother's influence!

Kieran is 23 months, 1 week and 6 days old today. He'll be celebrating his 2 year old birthday soon! I'm bringing him to have a birthday celebration at Swenson's at NEX this Friday. Kieran has 2 other friends, Jodi and Xin Ning who were born around the same date at the same year, and they are my friends' daughters, so we mummies are going to celebrate the 3 rabbit babies' birthday together. The kids will love the ice cream cake! On 6 October, we'll do another celebration for him at Ye ye & Nai nai's house and this one will be with all his favourite loved ones. Grandparents, grandaunt, uncle and 2 aunts will be there. And on 10 October, the actual day, we are going to his school at 3pm with a cake and celebrate his birthday there, singing birthday song with all his teachers and classmates.

We're going to have lots of fun!

Kieran during Lantern festival held by Ci Ai Education Incubator, his Childcare centre.

At the playground during the Lantern carrying walkabout.

Peekaboo!

One of my favourite photos of the night.

Kieran and mummy!

Caitlin 3 weeks old

Here is Caitlin at 3 weeks old! 

TGIF! Looking forward to Papa spending more time with us!

Baby Caitlin

People say that when one child is a high demand baby, the next one would be an easy one. How true is that!

Kieran drove us mad the moment we brought us back from the hospital. First, the sleepiness and refusal to wake up for milk milk, then his incessant crying from 6pm to midnight during fussy evenings.

Now, I was surprised how much easier it is to take care of Caitlin. No wonder some people said taking care of newborn is easy. When I had Kieran, I found this saying ridiculous. How could it be easy. There could actually be easy to care for newborn in this world. Haha. Caitlin is a darling. She sleeps most of the time and yet wakes up every 2-3 hour for milk milk. Sometimes she sleeps more and wakes up 4 hours later. Sometimes she wakes up every hour for milk. But every time, she will guai guai finish her milky and then go back to sleep. She burps whenever I burp her and she regurgitate milk but not as much as Kieran does last time. Kieran "merlioned" his milk out. But I must say its partly my fault too coz I pumped too much and created an oversupply problem. My poor Kieran had to bear with the fast milk flow, hard breasts and had to cough when the flow comes as its too fast, and regurgitate more due to the oversupply. Its all my fault. This time, I am smart enough to treat the engorgement issue by not pumping, and using cabbage leaves once a day, and cold compression and massage in between feeds. By 2nd week, my breasts are no longer engorged, and I still have lots of milk for Caitlin and she's drinking happily. But I still have fast milk flow and she coughs at times but its not too serious. How do I know I have lots of milk? I tried hand expressing a bit of milk when my breasts feels too full, especially when Caitlin didn't drink from that side for the feeding session, and the milk sprayed out like last time when I pumped for Kieran. I tried not to pump until next week. Don't want to start stimulating too much.

Caitlin's poo also turn mustard colour by the second day after discharging from hospital and its just like what the book says. She also has a little bit of jaundice and tested 10.2 at Dr Ong's clinic, but Dr Ong said its not high, and the level will eventually come down as long as she feeds well, and output is good. Her output is not worrying at all. She wets 6-8 diapers a day, as stated in the book for a healthy baby and she poo a lot of mustard poo poo everyday too.

She's our text book baby. And we hope she remains so easy to care for!

By the way, she slept through the night for two nights and then last night, she woke up at 2.40am for milk and diaper change. Not sure if she'll sleep through the night again. But that's not important. Most importantly, dear Caitlin must grow up happy and healthy, and smart, just like her gor gor. But of course she'll be smart, with all the nutrients from mummy's milk! I'm determined to give her 100% total breast milk until she's 6 months and for as long as she wants thereafter! Just like with Kieran. Hmm... maybe I should ask Kieran if he wants to try sucking milk milk today... I noticed that its no longer colostrum but full milk already. Will he still accept milk milk?

Full term

Today, 1 Aug, baby Caitlin is finally full term. The waiting game begins now.

I wonder which date she will choose to arrive. Hehe. Excited!

I have an appointment with Dr Ho today. We'll be doing heart beat test. I'm eager to meet Caitlin and also because this heavy tummy is tiring me out. I wonder what her weight is now. My appetite is still good, and my tummy has been growing and growing even when she's close to full term. I guess appetite will decrease now that she has already grown to her appropriate size?

Symptoms at this stage:

• Frequent peeing and moving of bowels
• Increased vagina discharge. Sometimes it comes off as big lumps. 
• Fuller breasts. I squeezed. Still got milk although I stopped breastfeeding few months back.
• Insomnia but Kieran always managed to help me with this by making me too tired due to caring for him
• Tiredness
• Hunger (yes, now I still have cravings for food, usually in late afternoon)
• Nausea. That's why I do not dare to eat too much at one go even though I'm hungry.
• Tummy dropped much lower. When I sit down on my dining chair, my tummy touches my thigh. That's how low it is now! I guess Dr Ho will tell me baby is engaged today!
• Felt baby Caitlin giving me awefully strong kicks at top of my uterus, near the lungs, and felt her hicups where my pelvic bones are. So I guess she is still in her wonderful head down position. Please stay that way, dear baby!

Kieran is at school. Today he didn't cry much. He looked rather happy to go to school but he cried because he wants mummy to accompany him inside. I guess he likes the activities, toys and games he gets to play there, and the songs they sing. Just now I peeped in and saw him eating his bread by himself. Very obedient. And later on, after going to the coffee shop for tea and walking back, I peeped in again and saw him concentrating on his construction toys. He loves to assemble and disassemble things. That explains why he loves lego so much. Happy to see that he's not crying and doing activities in school.

Last night, he rolled a sticker in his palm and told me he's making "tang yuan" and its tang yuan that cannot be eaten. I guessed his teacher must have taught him that and they must be playing play dough.

Kieran's physcial growth spurt must have ended, but he seemed to be having a brain growth spurt. Nowadays, he couldn't stop talking and couldn't stop asking "what is this?" and he kept wanting to "read book, read book". I just made him recite di zi gui this morning coz he woke up early and he can recite the zong xu. Very happy. I sent the video to hubby and his grand aunt. They'll be proud of him :)

36 weeks 4 days

I'm still eating a lot. Although I had some nausea and breathlessness, that doesn't stop me from eating and eating. Eager to know baby's weight and whether she has engaged during this Thurday's check up. I'll be able to hear her heart beat that day. We are doing a heart beat test for 20 min.

I've a feeling she might be engaged as I've a feeling of something pressing down whenever I get contractions. Frightening feeling coz it feels like baby is being squeezed out.

She has damn strong kicks n punches. Really painful sometimes. I kept video records of her movements. Must show it to her when she's older.

It is 3am + and I couldnt sleep due to hunger. Ate a swissroll & drank milk & took my supplements. I have this feeling that this is preparing me for the middle of the night feeding when Caitlin arrives.

Dreading the newborn caring phase all over again but then again I'm excited and looking forward to seeing baby Caitlin. I just dreamt of her yesterday. She looks gentle and sweet and peaceful. When oh when will she arrive? 1 August or 8 August or right on the EDD 22 Aug?

Preparation for little Caitlin

Handwashed and folded and kept all the new clothes for little Caitlin. I especially bought some of the clothes for special occasions like her home coming from the hospital, full month celebration, and Kieran's birthday. I hope Caitlin is fair as the bright pink looks nice on fair skin.

Not difficult to guess the gender of our second baby once you look at these sets of clothes right? Haha

These are what I've prepared for home coming for Caitlin. The bear cap is a gift from a friend Jin Xian, and belonged to Kieran. It looks small and cute and just right for a little newborn Princess. The elephant embroidered pink shirt is a gift from Xiao Yi (my youngest sister), the washcloth is a free gift from Spring Maternity and the swaddle is Kieran's old one bought by Grand Aunt. The mittens are new, and I bought them from the last baby fair that I went to. Looking forward to having Caitlin wearing these and coming home with us.

All nicely packed in clean Ziplock bag and kept in my hospital bag. I've to pack and keep everything now in case my pregnancy brain forgets this and that when the day nears.