Primary school placement confirmed

Kieran has gotten a place at the Primary school opposite our flat. Confirm plus chop.

I went to the school website and read that the children are learning so many things, and I bought some Primary One assessment books from the bookstore to see what a child is now required to know at Primary One. Gosh… the syllabus are so hard.

I’m really glad we sent Kieran for reading classes so that he can at least read independently before he starts formal school. We have not started anything much for Math and Chinese. We have very limited time since both hubby and I are working full time. I wish so much to have more time to spend with my children. Kieran now has weekly reading and spelling test and he has a music exam coming up in September. The music lesson is getting more demanding of our attention and time. We are going to stop his music lesson for a while and switch him to a private tutor to learn at his own pace later on. I now know why we should cut down on children’s tuition and academic enrichment lessons – they are more stressful for us, parents than they are for them.

Just a thought when I was chatting about handling children’s stress with my fellow mummy friends - We always tell ourselves or our children to "achieve the best result", but I think we should "achieve the optimal result". “Best” is comparative; you are comparing your achievement with someone else’s or with your past accomplishments. However, “optimal” means at this point, given the specific conditions and limitations, you are performing to the best of your ability. That, in itself, is enough, regardless of the outcome. What a comforting thought... but of course arguably, this kind of mindset wouldn’t do for a sportsperson or a performing artist. It does for me though… which explains why I always navigate away from life’s toughest challenges. Sigh. I can never successfully achieve the kiasu parent status. Well, let's chill and have a cuppa tea. :)

Book Review: Blink Once by Cylin Busby

I like this young adult novel. Good read for a teenager. It is engaging enough, not long winded, and the characters are seventeen year olds, pretty close to heart for teenage readers. I finished this book within two days.

Warning: Spoiler ahead

I like how the author keeps readers in suspense on who Olivia is. At some points, I thought she might be a ghost inhabiting the Hospital, and at other times I thought she might turn out to be a psychopath whose love will turn into hatred and she might smother West to death before he has his operation. I also like how the author weaves in short snippets of events that give us a sense of each character’s personality – the mother who believed in West until the end, the father who stayed away but who willingly return for his child, the crazy best friend who cared for West more than he showed, the teenage girlfriend who reacted to West’s coma like most any teenager would, the dedicated Nurse and the psychologist who is eager to prove the theory that she knows. The people in this story are people- not evil (except the psychopath who assaulted Oliver), not angels but normal people like you and I. I like how that story made them out to be so. West’s subtle and life-changing thoughts that gradually forms over time are clearly and vividly portrayed. I think West will grow up to be a fine young man, and he will grow old as a wise grandfatherly person. He might even volunteer or give inspirational speeches.

Someone make this book into a movie, please.

I really enjoy going to the library. As a working mother of two who takes full responsibility of the children once they are off the hands of the day-carers – their grandparents, I have a hectic schedule and limited time for self-care. Pursuing personal interests seemed like a thing of the past for me. 2011 is a life changing year for me. Ever since my first little one appeared, nothing is the same anymore. So when I walk into the library and pick up these books to read, it’s a lovely experience. I love the Zen kind of peace and calm when I walk into the library. There are information and knowledge and creativity everywhere, and the choice is mine. These books are there, calling out for me to pick them up to read. The library is a transient getaway from the home filled with chaos and noise of children – yes, I am amazed how two children can fill the house with so much chaos and noise. Unlike a bookstore, the books are free, the information and the creativity are free, which spares up so much worries for a financially tight mother. In short, I love the library.

Mothering

The thing about being a mother is that we are always worrying about our children. I have been telling myself to relax but I really can't. If my child shows a slight indiction that he may be developing a fever, I will panic, and if my child gets a tooth cavity, I will see it as an indication that I am a bad mother, that I haven't been taking good care of the children. Care for the children is never enough. There's always more to be done, more to do, more to perfect, and so on.

Top items in my worry list are now Caitlin's front teeth cavity and Kieran's phonics. I'm trying to see if I can help her teeth remineralise by giving her the appropriate vitamins and starting her on fluoride and xylitol brushing since she now can spit out after gargling. Caitlin is a stubborn and fiery little one. Getting her to accept me brushing her teeth is like fighting a battle with her. I have found a way to get her to cooperate a little bit more, which is to let her watch an iPhone app of a cute panda brushing his teeth and then gargling. I can set the brushing timer to as long as I like. She finds it interesting and often laughs at the silly panda, so I place the phone with the app running in front of the wash basin and coax her into brushing. If she struggles, then well, I have to keep brushing despite her cries. It's sad to see her struggling twice or thrice (sometimes I brush her teeth in the afternoons if we are not outside) everyday during toothbrushing but that is better then seeing more cavities on her teeth. She has about 5 small but noticeable ones on the front teeth. The back molars look alright and all of her lower set of teeth are nice. I don't know how the decay only happens on the front ones.

Kieran is now learning very fast and to help him absorb the good stuff, I'm reading a lot to him, teaching him to recognise simple Chinese words, and to learn to write simple letters and strokes. He's progressing at a snail speed but at least there's progress and he won't go to Kindergarten next year not knowing anything. I'm also teaching him phonics myself using this teaching tool: The ordinary parent's guide to teaching reading. There's an audio companion which I borrowed from the library. While teaching, I also learn valuable lessons on phonics. I'm convinced that phonics help young children read better, and he has to read, otherwise he can't even understand math problems at Primary One. If he don't finish learning phonics by K1, he will confuse it with Han Yu Pin Yin that he will learn in K2.

So being a mother, we have no time to relax. My favourite way to "relax" is sipping hot, bitter-sweet black tea in a cooling air conditioned room, away from the suffocating heat in the rest of the house, and temporarily away from that forever "Mama! Mama!". Sweet black tea works wonder for my soul. 苦中作樂，因為人生就是甜中帶苦，苦中帶甜。

Reflections

Sometimes, in the midst of all the business of daily routine, which includes crying and screaming baby wanting milk, wanting to be carried and held and hugged instead of sitting down to explore the toys, and toddler rolling on the floor crying for attention at the same time, and the spilt drink on the floor needing to be cleaned before the ants smell it and come, and the sweltering hot weather that makes my t-shirt and stray hair stick to my perspiring back and neck, and the vegetables which need to be cut and the rice which needs to be washed for lunch and the clothes to be washed before it fills the laundry basket to the brim... I wonder why in the world, when I was still young and ignorant about the life of a married housewife, didn't my parents warn me against having children?

That is just sometimes. Definitely.

Sometimes, Kieran makes me laugh, and sometimes, I get a minute or two to enjoy a shower or a cup of tea while I watch my latest craze, Downton Abbey, or read a book. I just finished Longbourne and I realised, after reading it, that I should be reading Pride and Prejudice too.

I'm glad my hubby is helpful. Unfortunately as working parent in Singapore, its difficult to spend much time with the family. I wonder if I start full time work too, would I start to be distant from my children?

I'm feeling a little jittery today. Maybe its because of the tea this morning. Maybe I'm just not feeling quite right.

Kieran is no longer a baby

I suddenly realised, with some mixed feelings, that my little precious is no longer a baby now. He's a big grown boy!

Kieran weighs 10kg and is 81cm tall. He's a pleasant, mild tempered and happy boy.

He no longer has that chubby baby look. But of course he's still cute nevertheless. He's so smart, picking up words and sentences, and able to see logical relations between concepts. I'm amazed by how smart kids can be. His development verbal and reasoning wise is much more advanced than motor skills. Whenever he opens a book or see pictures or objects and animals he is interested in, he will talk and talk and talk, and wants the adults to explain these things to him. But when he goes to a playground which requires him to work those limbs and balancing skills, or when he sees older kids running around the playground or park, he looks in wonder and seems like he wants to join in but he's afraid because his balancing and motor skills isn't very good yet. I'm hoping to see my boy running around confidently, and climbing up and slide down the slide again and again. But before that, I'll be patient and wait for him to develop at his own pace.

At the playground again. Noticed that he has grown taller? He now prefers playing "cooking" than climbing up and down the slide and playing the see saw. 

One of his favourite place is the library and he absolutely loves books although he really would only read for a while and then start running around and exploring the library which is an amazing new world to him. Haha. He loves to search for books, take them out of the shelves and bring them to me for me to read to him.