Heart Angina - A huge warning to us!

My mother in law suffers from heart angina ever since she has several blocked arteries and malfunctioning heart valves about 3 years ago. Few nights ago, she suddenly experienced extreme pain in the chest that does not go away with rest. She was admitted to hospital and had to undergo surgery tomorrow.

It is really a combined issue of bad lifestyle, bad diet and stubbornness! I vow that I shall never ever follow such footsteps. Like all of us, she likes fried, salty yummy food, but after the diagnosis of blocked arteries and malfunctioning valves, she abstained from these food for a period of time and then return to this unhealthy diet again! All because of the stupid MLM health products! Friends and people she trusts introduced her to expensive MLM (multi-level marketing, also known as direct selling and in some cases, pyramid schemes) health products like Rain, Bamboo salt, Electric health chair, and that stupid piece of glass Bio Glass. She trusts these so much and these have such strong psychological effects on her that she would rather spend her money on these expensive products than heed the doctor's and dietician's advices to go for healthy diet and exercise! To her, these supplements and health products are enough, and are miracles, and because these works, it is not so necessary to eat healthy ALL the time. So occasionally a bit of oily food is ok, occasionally a bit of fried food is ok, she doesn't exercise but it's ok... Maybe it's ok for normal people but NOT OK for a person with four and more blocked arteries at a range of 60-80% and malfunctioning heart valves, and constant chest pains! She couldn't even enjoy a normal life for three long years, refraining from travels, longer journeys than a trip to the nearby market causes chest pains, couldn't come to visit grandkids, and yet, she still tells herself that it's ok. Even when family members encouraged her to live healthily, even when my father in law talked to her about living healthy lifestyle, she does not listen! My mother in law is a very generous and kind and trusting lady. This trust is a double edged sword. Who to blame in this case? The MLM sellers or the MLM buyers?

I remember the whole family got into a very unhappy situation when my parents in law requested for us to buy her a SGD900 Bio Glass! $900! This piece of crap does not have filtering properties. You just put it into your water jar and it will miraculously change the water molecules to positive ones, creating positive water and you get healthier and healthier and eventually all your illness will go away! God will deal with who ever create, sell and promote this crap and all other MLM craps! I shall not go into it. There are many evidences against this Bio Glass thing and you can easily search for it online. Type "Bio Glass Scam" and you have it.

Every time people talk about these MLM stuff I may look calm but I'm burning angry inside. I wish this bad business scheme will stop! I once wrote to MOH but they say they cannot do anything to these sellers. If I suspected a scam, then I can write in to police for investigation. The thing is the government has to educate the public about these things. Tell our elderly what is MLM, what is direct selling, what are its disadvantages and how these cannot overwrite doctor's advices. The claims made by the sellers are horrific, giving personal evidences of miracles, and praising their products to the Heavens. The harm done to individuals can be dire. And how do we make police reports against friends and relatives because the sellers are usually friends and relatives since it's a direct selling scheme?!

Not forgiving anytime soon

With a little baby, there are so many inconveniences to things that would have been simple in life.

Yesterday I was trying to discuss with hubby about the schedules for the coming weeks as I have several baby shower and wedding invitations to attend and I'm not sure baby is fit to attend them with us. For one, he fusses a lot in the evening and it'll be so embarrassing if he cries and cries if I try to feed him. And he still wails when we put him in the car seat for a long ride.

This Sunday I have to attend a wedding in the morning, a baby shower in the evening, Monday, another wedding in the evening, then during the weekend, I was hoping to put money in baby's CDA account for use when we need it. Next Sat, we have to attend a relative's house warming and baby must go for this one, then the following week is another good friend's baby shower.

But I am very sad. Yesterday when Hubby and I had a chance to talk over dinner, all he was concerned about was Groupon discounts and surfing the net. I haven't completed my sentence and he was already calling someone over the phone about something he read online. I had appalled by his lack of interest in what I was saying. I am interested in planning a schedule but he was more interested in commenting on other people's choice of baby shower timings. Irritated max. It got to the extend that I snatch his handphone from him in an attempt to make him listen but I guess that attempt failed too. I felt like smashing the idiot phone against the wall although I returned it to him. Later, I went in to look after baby and he knew I was unhappy but that's too late. If he doesn't care, then why should I bother? I will just make the arrangements myself and he doesn't need to be in the picture since he doesn't care.

Sometimes it pains me to see how less effort hubby is investing in baby's care. I understand he has to work. But the most he did is to hold baby awhile in the evening. He doesn't need to wake up in the middle of the night to care for baby, change diaper or feed baby. I try to let him sleep as much as possible and be as stress free as possible by doing everything myself but I dun want him to take things for granted. Does he know that other dads wake up in the middle of the night to rock baby to sleep when they wake up crying? Does he know that other dads come home to play with baby, change nappy, cook dinner etc instead of checking mails, reading news and watching tv like he does?

I refused to talk to him much in the morning. He doesn't realized his mistake. Guys will not reaslise their mistake if you tell them how wrong they are in the face. Guys will never learn. Even after he sensed that something is wrong, he doesn't know how he can make it right. He just sleeps at the time he sleeps everyday. Even though he knows my love language is "quality time", he doesn't give me the attention that I require. These few nights, it is always dinner, feeding baby and then I will entertain baby until he sleeps, and wake up in the middle of the night to care for baby while he continue on his usual lifestyle of sleeping before 11pm and wakes up for work. Its not that I am complaining about the unfairness. I just want him to realise all these doesn't come easy. He comes home to marvel at baby's cuteness while I do all the work and the pacifying.

Yes, I'm feeling very bitter, and no, I am not ready to forgive him. Especially since he isn't even doing anything to ask for forgiveness too. Taking too much for granted... taking too much for granted... :(

Suddenly emo

It's been an emotional roller coaster ride recently. Perhaps it's the hormones due to pregnancy, perhaps it's the physical discomfort (baby kicking hard, frequent hunger pangs and sudden hot flushes), perhaps the recent stressors, perhaps because hubby has been busy and neglecting time with me. Or perhaps it is a combi of different factors at different times. These 2 weeks, I'm feeling very down. I raised my voice at dad, mom n hubby several times and I suddenly feel very irritated and angry, and I cried several times too.

I've been requesting for hubby to spend more time with me so that at least that can help me feel a bit better but it has not yet been realized. Sometimes I wish I will be sick with morning sickness again so that he will spend more time with me. Now that I am well, almost every night, he has something to do, somewhere to go and if he's at home, he has some task to complete.

I'm now pregnant so I really do not and cannot bother so much about renovation stuff. I hope hubby can take the lead and do most of the liaising and running around to do things. I can discuss design and ideas and prices but I do not want to bother about calling ppl and negotiating etc. I do not have high requirements when it comes to renovation. I'm more into buying furnitures n deco to beauty up the house. I really want to look at baby stuff and really buy some if those important things before baby's arrival. But all these things are so difficult to relate to hubby. After RT, he's tired, he couldn't think about me and he didn't even cook things for me when I suddenly became hungry at night. I was so disappointed today that I have packed my stuff and wanted to move back to my parents' place. At least if I'm hungry at night, they will care for me. When I'm so hungry, I really do not have energy to cook things myself but most people do not understand. It's also very sad that I have to do it myself because hubby does not want to. So I went to sleep despite the hunger, couldn't sleep well n had to wake up at 4.30am to toast bread to eat. I felt thoroughly miserable.

Apologies that this post is full of complains. When I told hubby about how I feel, he called to show his concern but I'm uncertain that things will change. It is a recurring problem that he frequently neglects me and baby in future when he's caught up in his busy schedule. Sigh. I wish we can develop a better and happier family life and not give up family time so easily  when busy with individual commitments.