lousy day

Today is a pretty lousy day for me.

I brought Kieran to see pediatrician at Mount Alvernia because we discovered that his penis foreskin was infected and there was yellowish pus. Terribly heartache. Early morning, we made our way there and lucky doctor said its just skin surface infection. He was given antiseptic lotion and cream. No need for oral medicine, thank goodness. I like the doctor. He's good with kids and he explains well. I brought Kieran twice to another PD at ang mo kio. The medicine fees are expensive, he was given strong medication and yet he didn't recover. The previous time I went there was also my last time. I'd rather take the trouble and the time to travel to Mount Alvernia to see a good PD.

Then after all the hassle, hubby and I were both tired out. So was baby but he refused to sleep. Very active and playing all the time when he was at home. We cleaned him and applied medication and he poo pooed and we clean him again, shower him etc... phew... parenthood! Besides the worries, you still had to deal with the hard work. Isn't easy with my growing tummy.

We were late for my dad's birthday dinner but we couldn't get a cab at punggol. We tried frantically to get one this morning to get to the PD and it was a nightmare. How I wish we drive. So we took LRT and MRT to Serangoon to take a cab. Long queue but at least there were lots of cabs available. Poor baby was so tired he fell asleep when we were at the MRT.

We arrived one hour late for the dinner! I didn't check how late we were but of course I knew we were late. I told my dad to order drinks first and we'll try to reach as soon as possible. My sister was glaring at us when we reached and scolded in public very loudly using mean and harsh words, and went on scolding and scolding to her heart's desire. I was shocked because we did inform them that we will be late and we didn't have a choice. Today was really too hectic and tiring and there's absolutely no cabs available near our house. I didn't explain because there's no need to! Everyone knows. She said having a baby is no excuse to be late. And she said we wasted 8 hours, not 1 hour because we made 8 people wait for us. Well, there is no way to say anything back because she's absolutely right and we were absolutely wrong. The rest of us includes my dad and mom and aunties and youngest sister didn't scold us though. They are all nice but I don't know what they think.

I didn't want to spoil the mood so I tried to remain calm and happy. But it seems I couldn't contain the emotions in me. I didn't have appetite to enjoy the food. I just bend down to eat quickly because I need to hide the teary eyes away from people. But as time goes by, I couldn't hide anymore and I just cried and cried while I eat. I'm such a failure. I guess its pregnancy making me emotional or the tiring day made me unable to withstand setbacks, or maybe I'm just naturally such a useless person who cries at the slightest matter.

I thought about what if I go back to work and I met with bad bosses who scolds like my sister. It happens all the time at the workplace right? Would I be able to smile my way through the day or will I break down too? I don't know. Its not about toughening yourself up coz I've been through a lot of these tough times, dealing with people like her and dealing with scoldings from bosses, superiors and sometimes I really have nothing to defend because I know it is my fault. Or perhaps I blame myself too much?

I will try to avoid her as much as possible. I think she text me something but I deleted the entire chat. Didn't want to look at it in case I felt emotional again. Its really an upsetting day. Avoiding nasty people for as long as I could.

last injection of babyhood

Kieran just had his last injection of babyhood.

18 months booster for 5 in 1 jab on the arm and the second MMR jab on the thigh. He didn't cry at all when the needle poked his arm but he cried when the needle poked into his thigh. He cried for awhile and stopped while we went out the door. Wiped his tears and sniffed. My super brave baby boy! The little girl who had her injection before him, also 18 months old, cried even before the needle was poked. I guess thats the difference between boys and girls. Haha.

He's now very very sleepy and is sleeping and sleeping away. He slept the moment we came back from Seng Kang polyclinic and slept for about 2 hours. Then he played, ate although appetite wasn't very good, and he read books. I brought him downstairs to have a walk and play at the playground, then he came back, bath and is sleeping now. He complained that his buttock itch. My dad was scratching for him while he lie down on his bed and I guess he felt so comfortable that he fell asleep.

Poor baby. I hope he won't get fever tonight. MMR fever comes in anytime between 4 to 14 days after jab. So after 6 May, he'll be safe.

Looking forward to more baby gatherings! His friend Jasper came back from Poland for a visit and we held a playdate at our home with 5 babies in total. Very cute babies and fun day for babies and parents.

Will be uploading the photos soon, once I got them sorted.

Baby Yun Xi is kicking more now. Strong kicks and somersaults usually in the evening when I lie down to rest. This time with second baby, time seems to pass faster. Very soon, it'll be May and it'll be 3 more months to delivery date which is 22 Aug. Looking forward to cuddling a baby girl in my arms!

怀旧

Just to digress a bit. After a day of moody episodes, crying, being accidentally bitten by sleepy Kieran, cooping at home and not having any good food, I finally got out of it. Now listening to my old time favourites:

Songs that accompany me through childhood, songs that were written and sung at the time when Mediacorp (that time call SBC or TCS) still write theme songs for drama properly and seriously. Now the dramas are low cost with shitty stories and of course the theme songs budget are also slashed. Miss those days when people treat their jobs with respect. Sigh...

我的生活在这里 - 吴佳明 (1987)

一条陋巷
穿越多少户家庭
一双木屐
敲醒多少个美梦
忙碌的五脚基
我的生活在这里

亲切的五脚基
长长的骑楼底
我的生活在这里
眼泪和欢笑
点缀我的成长
喜怒和哀乐
丰富我的生命

一声招呼
泛起多少个微笑
一个关怀
温暖多少个心房
热情的五脚基

我的生活在这里

红头巾主题曲 (1986)

轻轻的一声祝福

秋风送我上征途

回首前尘望断天涯

故乡在那云深不知处

朝朝暮暮风和雨

岁岁年年云和雾

背負千斤担

艰难开脚步

踏遍世间不平路

把那漂泊的步伐

停在荒涼的大路边

抹去泪水建我家园

你看茫茫沧海变桑田

披荊斩棘齐向前

一起等待艳阳天

兩鬢添风霜

回头已百年

贏得广厦千万间

18 month old

Today, 10 April 2013, Kieran Sia Yun Xuan is officially 18 months old!!!

He's approximately 89cm, a very tall boy! He's getting heavy too! I'm happy he inherited his dad's genes. Fair, tall, and well, good looking. LOL Of course every mother will think their kid is good looking.

One bad thing is he's having teething pains and just now he cried pitifully before sleep, complaining about his ya ya yang yang (teeth itchy). Poor boy. Hubby and I were patting him, hugging him, using toothbrush to brush and ease his pains and itch, and me nursing him, until he feels much better and fell asleep.

This week is Child care shopping week. Going to The Whole Child Nurture Centre near Kovan MRT to take a look tomorrow morning, and on Sat, to the childcare near my home, the Ci Ai Education Incubator.

I'm not really looking at placing him in full day now, just a half day programme to get him used to playing with kids, in an environment without mummy, getting used to school life and being independent. As I'm currently not working full time, there's a lot of things I could do with him still, of course until my tummy gets too big and I get too exhausted with the walking and carrying when bringing him out to play. Until then, I want to try letting him learn to self-feed, to toilet train him, to bring him to the library and play at water parks, or play at his favourite Barney Che che and other kiddy rides whenever I could make it. Whenever I feel I have the energy, I will make time for him.

It's a Princess!

Just a quick update. During the detail scan, Dr Ho asked, "Have I told you the gender yet?"
Me: "No"
Dr Ho: "It's a Princess."
Me: "Happy!"

Welcome, Sia Yun Xi Caitlin!

Pregnancy feeling update

I'm 18 weeks pregnant now, second trimester, and I'm feeling so much better!

No more nausea feeling. I'm just occasionally tired. And I even have enough energy to bring my boisterous little 17 month old to play at the playground, to NEX shopping mall for his Barney Che che rides, and to Isetan and other shopping places for him to shop around the toys department. He will always go "Choo choo train!!!", picks one favourite, says "Mine!" and then carries it around as he explores the shelves and shelves of toy paradise until he saw another one that interest him more, and then he will shout "Big big truck!!! Mine!!!" and he puts down the train and carries the truck around instead. Mummy is very very smart. When its time to go and he needs to be strapped to his stroller and go elsewhere, I will wait for him to feel bored with one toy and then tell him, "Come, if you sit on your stroller, mummy will give you a nice sweet/biscuit/xiao man tou/seaweed (depending on what treats I have for him)." and he will usually be trilled to be put on the stroller and enjoy his lovely treat.

So its a No Tears method for mummy and Kieran. Off we go from the Barney Che Che to the toy department to buying a Japanese baked "fish" shape chocolate cake for mummy and Kieran (coz I'm hungry), and then we go home. Lucky the rain stopped before we set off from NEX. I brought him to my parents house which is quite near NEX. And now he's having dinner with grandparents while I relax and do some online shopping in the room.

A nice nice day for mummy and baby. And most probably for the little one inside me too!

Some complaints

Daddy has to go for the National Service tonight which deprives us one evening of family time... sigh. I wish the government won't force guys to go for so many years of National Service even after they complete their 2 years of service. Its such a waste of time, and disrupts our family life. If there's a chance Kieran can study or work overseas and he has a future there, I hope he can then decide to spend his life elsewhere and not have to come back to do National Service. I don't think the 2 years is a problem... its the continuous going back for tests and one or two week services that is really disturbing. If this little one is a girl, then she's lucky she won't need to go through it! Haha. Anyway in many years time, our social fabric is going to undergo a big change where native Singaporeans will be replaced by foreigners and newly converted citizens. One question how diluted our National identity is going to become with it becoming increasingly diluted with too many non Singaporeans joining the country and citizenship too quickly. Sometimes even a stay at home mom like me wonders what the hell our government is thinking. Some years ago, life is still bearable, but now, the "crowded everywhere" feeling and the "non Singaporeans" everywhere feeling is getting quite prominent to ignore. Oh well. Next year, I hope to rejoin the workforce soon, and I hope by that time, everything will be better! Better childcare policies, better protection for working mothers, better family life balance in the workplace.

Talkative little boy

He never stops talking. If he isn't talking, he's making "vroom, bi bo bi bo, or eee orr eee orrr" noises of cars, bikes, fire engines, police cars, ambulances, etc. These are his latest craze. Oh and "choo choo trains" too.

I've been teaching him to love the baby inside me even before she is born. I teach him that inside mummy's tummy is a baby. He knows how babies look like. He saw videos, pictures and real life ones on the MRT, and he loves them. Today he pointed to my tummy, kiss baby by kissing my tummy, and sayang baby by gently stroking my tummy, and said "Baby, baby..." Then he saw a picture of a baby on the video on iPad. He pointed to the baby on the iPad, pointed to my tummy, and said "Baby. 一样 (mandarin for "Same"). Same." So smart! He really surprised me as I didn't know he understood what I wanted to teach him so well, and that he can verbalise the words so clearly.

At 17 months, Kieran can say many things clearly. Today, he told me he wants to "sleep" 睡觉 in mandarin. And he pronounce "giraffe", "lion", "apple" all these words very accurately. Just last week, he could only call them "raf", "arghh (to show lions roar)" and "per". How fast children develop!

He can walk very steadily now and he can carry a heavy toy fire engine as he walks. My little toddler has come a long way from being a babbling and crawling baby to a big boy who can talk and walk and very soon, run!

He loves to learn names of objects. He points to things and will look at me and say "emm" if he wants to know what they are called. I will tell him their names and he will repeat it and record it in his smart little brain and then from then on, he know what they are and will tell people the names of the objects if people ask him to. The billions of neurons in his brain is certainly working hard day and night! When I point to an object and ask him what it is, and he doesn't know it, he will also look at me and say "emm", and patiently wait for me to teach him.

Today he did something funny too. He was going to sneeze but the sneeze was gone half way... so he went ah ah ah... and the "choo" didn't come. I was staring at him and waiting for the sneeze to come. When it didn't, he looked at me, and I looked at him, and then he suddenly said "Ah choo." I laughed and laughed and he laughed too. Super funny little guy!