Baby And Me

Burnt out

2012-02-14T23:59:00.004+08:00

The blocked duct problem is temporarily solved. I hope it won't come back.

Felt a bit burnt out today and I asked my mother in law to help look after baby while I rest. I couldn't sleep even though I was on the bed and could only sleep for 1 hour plus this afternoon. Felt happy to finally be able to sleep. Had a weird dream during my sleep though. My baby is now 4 months old and his needs are getting more and more intense. He is sleeping lesser, needs more play and stimulations, and starts to talk and cry and scream more. He is one big screamy babe!

Mother in law is very nice to baby. She is able to look after him well and play with him well when she's not so busy tidying up. I'm lucky to have a nice mother in law.

Today is valentine's day. No celebration but there's no need to anyway. Hubby bought bubble tea for me when he came home. Baby was asleep when he returned because he has army training and has to be back late. I see it as good opportunity for him to exercise and stay healthy.

I read that besides over supply, tiredness and stress can also cause blocked ducts. Now, the affected area is still painful but I have no mood to do self care... I want to have a good shower but I just sit here, think about things and type here in my blog. In the day, I'm always busy so I don't have a quiet moment to think about things. I think I'm a bit depressed.

Last weekend was my birthday weekend which I hope to get some rest but I couldn't as we brought baby out and having no vehicle, we travelled on public transport and that demanded a lot of effort and time. I really need rest. I took care of baby the whole day and being full time mother to a young baby is very challenging. I want to take care of baby's needs as well as his emotional needs, giving him cuddles and singing and talking to him when he is bored. And without much rest, its weekdays again and I'm left to care for baby myself. Lucky that mother in law comes to help. I have to be on 100% energy to care for baby but now my energy level is so low. There are so many things on my mind and so many things that I am unhappy about. A friend posted on her Facebook page that her hubby and her just got a new weekend car. I felt so jealous. It's great to have a car when you dun have a child yet but when you have a young baby, its a big relief to have a car! Hubby said no. We are already trying to make ends meet. If I had gone back to work, I reckon he'll say the same. I am affected because many of my friends are able to get a car which post so much conveniences for their babies and them. I really don't understand why we couldn't just manage to get a second hand one.

Unfortunately, hubby did a calculation and said we can't and if we have dual income, we might be able to afford one. If I had wanted a car, there will be no more taking care of baby. If I want to take care of baby at home, there will be no car. Very smart hubby. Very cruel reality.

As I sat here to think of things, I sometimes feel very upset that in life there are so many things that we have to give up. It must always be one thing or another. Never can we have the best of both worlds. I'm not complaining. I'm just stating a fact.

There are many things that I feel frustrated with. Perhaps it's time to calm down and think positive and not ruminating on the negatives too much.

When one is feeling down and out, it's so good to have someone to help out around the house. That is why tomorrow, I'm gonna make a trip to my parents' house and not cope up at home with baby and get even more depressed. Our happiness lies in our hands!

After talking to hubby tonight, I got even more depressed, feeling like there's no way things are gonna turn for the better.

I have my greed and I am a person who longs for adventure in life. I want to do everything when I'm still young and when I still have the health to. But hubby is a boring old man who wants to wait until everything is settled, wait oh wait oh wait... Wait until probably we are 70 years old and laments why we don't do the things we could when we could, oh wait, we probably won't even live to 70s. Maybe we'll die soon and die with regret that we never accomplish the things we set off to do when we were young. I wonder why he don't get to become a little bit more braver to walk the path less travelled? Perhaps a part of me too is also like that. I like to say I want adventures but a part of me, too, is stuck in the rut and afraid to move out.

I am a frog who likes my little well and thinks this little well is the best home for me for the world out there is threatening, so staying in my warm and nice little well for the rest of my life is the best. Oh poor little frog, I am. Poor little frog. Read about the wonderful things about the world beyond the well but oh poor little frog has tied herself to the cozy little well and decides that this is the best place to stay, warm and damp and dark but who knows, the world out there might be worse! Oh poor little frog. You useless little amphibian. You have failed yourself. You have failed yourself.

Blocked ducts

2012-02-13T18:20:00.003+08:00

My goodness... I've a blocked duct. There's white blister at my nipple, and super painful hard lump on the right side of my left breast. Hurts like hell when I hold baby and he pressed against me. Hurts like crazy when I feed him on this breast but I know I must bear with it and keep feeding him on this breast in order to clear the blocked duct. Some people recommend using a needle to poke the blister but I won't want to do that! Sounds pretty scary... I may get my hubby to do that for me. Gosh...

Back to work?

2012-01-30T22:25:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking about this lately.

My mother in law is very nice to baby and she cares for baby very well.

But there are fundamental differences in our opinions. She is very gentle with baby and will worry when there are small problems like redness at the neck skin folds etc. I will just laugh the problem off and take things easy. I don't like to worry excessively. And I observe that because she is so gentle with baby, its not much fun and he won't laugh out loud as much as when I am playing with him. So I am concerned that if baby is with her all day, there won't be much stimulation. And she really likes tidying up and cleaning up my home... which is wonderful of course! Except that she cuts the tags off clothes that I intend to give as gifts to my friend's baby son and kept it in my baby's cupboard. I hated people packing up my things and making assumptions without asking. So I kind of got heated up and told her not to pack up anything in my home anymore. I also worry that she may let baby play by himself and do housework. I wonder why nannies call themselves nannies if they don't take care of babies, and instead leave the babies to themselves and do their housework. To me, nannies should spend a large percent of their time with babies, stimulating them and letting them play and learn stuff. What if my baby don't receive enough stimulant?

There are so many things to think of.

At first I was wondering whether it will be good to have a parent staying in with us. Especially since taking care of my baby alone is so very tiring. But I got frightened by the many negative things I read in online forum about problems with staying with in laws. I mean staying with my own family already posts problems... what more with people with different backgrounds and different mindsets? I think I'll endure taking care of baby alone. That gives me more freedom too. I treasure freedom more than anything else. Better be more physically tired than having a hand in the house but yet become more mentally strained.

If I have to go back to work, I guess I'll start with part time and ask mother in law to care of baby whenever I have to be away. But I hope I won't have to start going back to work soon. I don't really like to be away from baby for too long hours. It is tiring taking care of him, but at the same time it is very pleasurable and very rewarding. I have a peace of mind being sure that my baby is being stimulated, played with, happy and clean, and not left alone. I hate leaving babies alone to soothe themselves. Babies need to be stimulated and learn to feel that they are needed and their presences are treasured. I love my baby and I really wish to be with him for as long as I could, and giving him the best in terms of love and care although I cannot afford a lot of material goodness... but young babies do not need high end strollers and branded clothes... they need mummies' pure love and care, mummies' time and effort, and those are the best gifts for them.

3 months developmental milestone

2012-01-25T10:42:00.005+08:00

My dearest baby Yun Xuan is 3 months old!

At 3 months, what can he do? I must say my little babe is doing very well!

He can flip over very quickly with some assistance of turning him to his side and holding him in the position.
He can lift his head and shoulders up 45 degree without assistance while on his tummy.
He enjoys tummy time! Giggling at me when I bend down and babbles to him, and holding his head up to look around and occasionally focusing on a toy.
He moves his arms and legs while on his tummy like he wants to climb but of course he couldn't do that yet!
His little hands can meet in the midpoint. He likes to put his hands together in a "gong xi gong xi" gesture and sucks both hands' fingers.
He loves putting fingers in his mouth and suck.
He can grab a rattle instinctively when I tap it on his fingers.
He follows people with his eyes when they move around.
He turns to the source of loud sounds or music.
He meets your eyes and coos or squeals with glee.
He likes to babble to me when I talk to him.
He's a happy and smiley baby! He smiles to everyone who talks to him.
He laughs out loud when I put him on my tummy and surprise him by bobbing my head up.
He likes to stand with me holding him up by his armpits and walk around. Babies can walk and climb stairs but these are all reflexes. He enjoys it nevertheless.

Superman baby gets some tummy time!

Our CNY 2012 family portrait

Our CNY 2012 family portrait 2

Dear dear little babe can do so much! He's the apple of my eye and the source of my joy!

This year's Chinese New Year is so much fun and happiness because of him!

Goodbye 2011

2011-12-31T10:36:00.004+08:00

Summing up 2011, I realized it really has been a rather good year for me.

A year of learnings... learning more about myself, self-reflections, and year of new experiences, being pregnant, and being a new mother. From this day on, everyday will be a day of new learnings. Learning how to be more tolerant, tolerating the frustration of not knowing what baby wants, tolerating the boredom of staying home with baby, and learning how to read baby's cues, how to parent a small baby, how to be a wonderful mother, how to sacrifice myself for the good of others especially my precious darling baby, and how to love my hubby and baby more.

Baby is reaching his 3rd month milestone. Next month, many things will be happening. Celebrating the New Year, Chinese New Year, baby going for 3rd month injection, me going for Hep B injection, baby going through growth spurt and hubby going to camp for National Service so I've got to stay with parents for 2 weeks right before Chinese New Year. I'm a little troubled by all these changes which will happen within a short period. I am most afraid of baby's growth spurt but I know I can do it fine because I've survived baby's 2 growth spurts. I can survive the next one! I will embrace all these changes and challenges with open arms and a positive mind.

Goodbye 2011. Welcome 2012. A wonderful year ahead when I can watch my little darling baby grow up, reaching his milestones, crawling, standing, walking, climbing, and thriving... living his life to the fullest. Through him, I too, live my life to the fullest. Welcome to my world, baby Yun Xuan. Mummy loves you :)

Little Santa Baby

2011-12-25T10:54:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas, everyone!

18 Dec, we invited a few of my friends to my house and here we dressed up little baby Yun Xuan in Santa romper! He's a little Santa baby!

Grandpa hugs little Santa.

Little Santa at the play gym.

Little Santa laughs at me.

Confinement Sleepwear

2011-12-23T10:24:00.002+08:00

Front Open button sleepwear suitable for confinement use, hospital wear, night time wear and for breastfeeding baby at home. It's not too hot because its cotton. This material is better than the silky type of blouse which cost around $40-60 at major shopping malls. I tried both kind. This one is more comfy and easier to breast feed. This is good for breast feeding as you unbutton easily. The side pocket is also convenient for you to put stuff temporally as you hold your baby. It's only $15.

Even after confinement, I'm still wearing it at home. Hehe.

Housewarming

2011-12-22T11:48:00.006+08:00

We held a housewarming on 17 Dec 2011, which also was baby Yun Xuan's Welcome baby party. Oh well, he'll steal the limelight however we name the party :)

Yun Xuan was about 2 months and 1 week by the time we hold this "baby shower". I strongly believe baby showers should be held when baby is 2 or 3 months old. At least baby enjoy the company of people talking to and holding him. Why hold it so early when baby is 1 month old, so small and delicate, sleepy most of the time and mummy is most prob still recovering from post natal blues. At least on 17 Dec, baby Yun Xuan and I were able to enjoy the day! During confinement, I was so depressed, when people visited me, I had to force myself to act happy and smile. Sometimes I couldn't suppress the tears and they kept dropping even while I was talking to the guests!

We had intended to hold this baby shower together with our housewarming. We just moved into our new flat in Punggol. The weather was great that day. In fact, it was so cooling recently, its almost like Winter in Singapore. Haha. How I wish it was a real Winter. I would really wish to see snow. I've never seen snow in my life. We planned a trip to Europe but it had to be postponed indefinitely because little Yun Xuan came into our lives :D

Yun Xuan and me taking a picture with our neighbor Karen and son, Xavier. Yun Xuan's future playmate!

Daddy Yilin tried to soothe a hungry Yun Xuan.

Nai nai and Yun Xuan.

Yun Xuan giving me a one-sided smile... :)

Yun Xuan sat comfortably on Grandpa's leg. He looked so relaxed!

He's finally tired and took a nap in my arms. I love the peaceful look on his face when he sleeps. A precious little angel.

play time!

2011-12-14T15:59:00.002+08:00

Baby Yun Xuan is now 2 months old and he loves to play his play gym!

Baby Yun Xuan is my dear teddy bear. Loves to dress him up in his soft and teddy bear feel bodysuit so that I can hug him like my teddy... a very heavy teddy though. I think he should be close to 6kg although I didn't weigh him recently. My dearest boy!

How to store and use expressed breast milk?

2011-12-07T16:01:00.008+08:00

How do I store EBM?

Expressed Breast Milk or EBM can be stored using a breast milk storage bag, a plastic bottle or a glass bottle. I stored mine in Avent bottles like this:

Label them with the date and time you expressed out the milk. I also store them in glass bottles given by hospitals.

It is recommended that you don't store too much milk in one big bottle because when you want to take it out to thaw, you'll waste the milk if you do not need to use so much of it at one go.

My friends also get free glass bottles from Mount Alvernia before they discharge so that they can store breast milk in them. I got mine from a mother I knew in the forum. We buy plastic caps for the glass bottles like the ones in the picture below from Mount Alvernia pharmacy. You can only get them in hospital pharmacy.

The Avent bottles can store up to 180ml while the glass bottles can only store up to 120ml. Remember to leave a gap and not to fill the breast milk to the brim because breast milk, like all liquids expand when frozen and the bottle may crack. One of my breast milk overflow the bottle and broke the cap when it is frozen.

How long can I keep the EBM?

Here's a simple formula to remember how long you can keep EBM:

In freezer: 3 months

In fridge: 3 days

In room temperature: 3 hours

If baby already started drinking the milk, use it up within 1 hr, although some websites say we can leave it to feed for the next feed. In hot and humid Singapore, bacteria grows more quickly.

Do not re-warm, or re-freeze breast milk that you took out to use and don't put used breast milk back into the fridge.

How to heat up the EBM?

No, you do not heat it up. You only warm it up! So do not boil it or use hot water to pure over the bottle.

To use the EBM, if you take it out from the freezer, put it in the fridge to thaw. Do not thaw it outside at room temperature. It takes about 12 hours to thaw completely so do remember to take it out of the freezer one day before the day you need to use it. After it is completely thawed, the EBM can be kept in the fridge for another 3 days.

After taking the thawed EBM or freshly expressed and kept in fridge EBM out from the fridge, put it in a bottle of warm water to heat. Remember not to boil EBM or use boiling water to heat up the EBM. High temperatures can kill the nutrients in the EBM. We should use water at 40 Degree Celsius. I usually don't test the temperature to exactly 40 Degrees Celcius. I simply take a cup of warm water, pressed out from my water flask, and test with my hand that its not too hot. It should not have steam coming out from it, and it should not scald your hand when you touch it. Then I place the sterilized milk bottle with EBM into the cup of warm water. After the water has cooled and the EBM is not warm yet, I press out another cup of warm water, test it, add cool tap water if its too hot, and then warm the EBM again. I repeat this again and again until the EBM is nicely at room temperature. Actually if you ask me, I'd rather give baby EBM that is too cold rather than too hot as baby may be scalded.

Also, the contents of EBM, when stored in fridge will separate into layers. Swirl the bottle a bit before warming and feeding.

Getting ready for Yun Xuan's tummy time!

2011-12-06T16:56:00.004+08:00

Baby Yun Xuan will be 2 months soon! I've just placed an order for a play mat for him. I hope he will enjoy it :)

Here's where I got the playmat: Terrifictikes.com. It's introduced by my neighbor when we visited his home and saw his son having tummy time on this really nice large rubber mat. I think Yun Xuan will surely enjoy it! There's a Christmas sale going on now so grab it now if you have a baby getting ready for his tummy time soon!

I'm packing up my home to be ready for housewarming. I'm intending to cater buffet from Miao Yi, a vegetarian restaurant that is famous for catering nice buffet food, and I'm going to spend a little bit more on balloons deco for my beloved Yun Xuan. Hehe. Nice to fill our house with happy colors and cheery balloons and deco. I'm going to get the balloons package from this place: The Kids Party Store which has its shop in nearby Sengkang. Maybe I'll place my orders when I go Compass Point for grocery shopping.

Difficult to pack up my home ready for housewarming when I'm caring for baby, doing daily household chores, cooking, washing etc all at the same time. Its tends to just get messy all the time. Being a mother requires multi-tasking skills!

Why I will speak Mandarin to my son

2011-11-29T09:34:00.004+08:00

I am an ethnic Chinese. In Singapore, where I live, most ethnic Chinese parents speak English to their children. I see young Chinese children grow up to disregard the Chinese language but speak English very well. The situation is so bad that the Minsitry of Education once proposed to lower the standard of Chinese language in examinations so that more students can pass it. Many people, like me, were appalled by the News.

My childhood environment is such that I learnt both Chinese and English, and even my Chinese dialect, Hokkien. So I am proud to say that I am effectively bilingual. I may not be excellent at both languages, English and Chinese but I can speak, read and write them pretty well. Both simplified and traditional Chinese too, because I grew up learning traditional Chinese in a spiritual group that my family attends. I have to speak Chinese because my dad does not speak English. In olden Singapore, there are English schools and Chinese schools and my dad attended a Chinese school. My mother, on the other hand, attended English school, and I speak English to her. They both speak Hokkien and my grandparents speak Hokkien so we children somehow pick it up... otherwise, when the adults say secrets to each other in Hokkien, how can we know? Haha!

Unfortunately, Singaporean Chinese children nowadays are only learning one language- English. They do not have the chance to be bilingual or the opportunity to appreciate the culture and beauty of their Chinese dialect.

I was especially saddened when I heard the News report that LKY said Teochew Association, Hokkien Association, and other such clans and associations should change their priorities and focus on other directions because dialects are no longer widely used in our society. He said English and Chinese are the main power behind growth and excellence. Does it mean if something does not contribute towards economic progress, you discard it? What about our heritage? What about our rich history? What about the beauty of the culture that comes with the dialect? I am a believer that when you speak that language, you do not acquire the language alone but the culture, beliefs, pop culture and everything else that comes with that language. We noticed that people who speak English often tends to be more "Ang Mo" in their behavior and people who speak Mandarin often tends to be "Cheena" right? Haha...

It's great that I finally had time to watch the Parliament speeches. I had been so caught up with baby caring and post natal blues that I have no interest in politics at that time. It's time I catch up! I listened to Chen Show Mao's speech and it was great! Good speech with no waste of words, everything is straight to the point. But what prompted me to write this post is this speech by Low This Khiang:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfvOvTDVA60&feature=related

I sincerely hope our government will not focus on economic progression and prosperity so much that they forgot what makes us Singaporean. Why do you destroy our heritage and history one by one, only to reminiscence it once a year during the National Day Parade performance? I used to love NDP performances but these few years, I find the scenes so hypocritical... It showed old Mama shop, kampong spirit, etc but who drove the mama shop out of business? Who import so many foreigners at such a rate that we dun see Singaporeans around much at workplaces and shops anymore, much less the kampong spirit or the Singapore identity. Everything that I grew up with and identify with in my neighborhood is almost gone. We've gone from third to first world in such a short time but are our welfare, creativity, culture, medical knowledge and education first world? Are we happy to be at where we are?

Breastfeeding FAQ

2011-11-24T12:34:00.017+08:00

These are all that I've learnt about breastfeeding and I want to share with every mother!

1. Help, I don't have enough milk for my new born! I only managed to pump out a little bit of yellow liquid :(

Don't worry! When I was in the hospital I only managed to pump out a little amount of yellow, sticky liquid called colostrum. This early milk is high in antibodies and very important for your baby. Allow your baby to latch on as often as possible to get as much of these colostrum as possible. In a few day's time, your milk supply will come and the milk will change from yellow colostrum to more whitish transition milk and then to white colored milk. Don't worry if there seems to be very little for your baby. Baby has reserve in his body for 3 days so even if you do not have milk yet, it is ok for baby! Just keep latching baby on to stimulate your breast to produce milk.

The below is a picture of the colostrum I pumped out while at hospital.

This is a picture of the full milk I pumped out when we went home. This totally white colored milk only comes in a week after discharge.

2. I use the electric pump to pump out my milk and only get 30ml! That's not enough for my baby, right?

Using a pump to measure the amount of milk your baby is drinking during breastfeeding is a very inaccurate measure! Your baby is much better at extracting milk than any good breast pump in the world, so baby can actually suck more than the amount you pump. Also, when you feed baby, the feelings of closeness encourage let down of milk and its different when you pump, so the milk production will be much more when you are latching baby directly.

People with fast milk flow can fill up the bottle quickly. People with slow milk flow may take some time to fill up the bottle. But that still does not mean you do not have enough milk for your baby. Baby is having enough output, wetting diaper 6-8 times a day, looks satisfied after a feed, and is gaining weight means you are feeding your baby well. Just persevere on and you'll be glad that back then, you never give up!

3. Should I just express out my milk and feed baby with bottle? Direct latching is so difficult and feeding takes so long.

Don't do that yet. Don't choose to feed expressed breast milk (EBM) in bottles just because breastfeeding is difficult. Personally, I think babies should be introduced bottles only when mothers need to be away and cannot breastfeed her directly, like going to work, or going off somewhere for longer hours. Latching my baby isn't easy. He was a sleepy baby due to jaundice so we had to keep waking him up to feed and had to keep him awake during feeding. He's also very fussy partly due to my fast milk flow and his fussiness caused me to have sore nipples, blisters, and bleeding. During the first month, I really felt like giving up. Whenever I thought of the feeding session, I cringed as I am reminded of the pain on my nipples. However, I told myself that I have to persevere and be positive. With the encouragement of friends and my hubby, I have persevered with direct latching.

The most important reason one should do direct latching as much as possible is because this is the best way to stimulate milk production. Pumping cannot stimulate breasts to produce milk as much as babies' suckling. Most mothers I know have their milk dry up because they start exclusive pumping very early on, and there's almost no latching.

Another reason is that latching on provides the best bonding between mother and child. I feel happy seeing my child cuddle up close at my breast suckling, feeling safe and secure. I can cradle him and feel his warmth against my body, and touch him as he feeds.

4. Breastfed babies do not need to be burped.

Oh well, some say so but from my personal experience, yes, my total breastfed baby do need to be burped. He will swallow air when he cries or when he tries to search for nipple and is unsuccessful, or when he sucks and made clicking or sucking sounds because the latch is not very good. I have fast milk flow so baby is prone to unlatch and cry due to the flow being too fast for him, or make sucking sounds and have to be unlatched and latched again. Other friends who breastfeed their babies also say they need to burp their babies even though they do not have fast milk flow. So I guess the safest way is the burp baby after feeds. But don't over burp babies. Over burping them can cause them to spit out milk. It is not necessary to hear a "burp" sound after burping. Sometimes, there's just no air trapped inside so there's no need for baby to burp it out. (But if you bottle feed baby, you do need to burp baby until he burps because bottle fed babies almost always gulps in air.)

5. My baby drinks a bit and cry and pull off from my nipple! Sometimes, she pushes me away with her arm.

My baby does this most evenings since he's 3 weeks old. At first we thought he's frightened, what Chinese call "Xia Dao" by loud noises, noisy kids, etc so kept crying non stop and refused nipple even though he was apparently hungry and cried for milk. So we gave him Jing Feng San. And we also thought maybe he had gas in his stomach and gave him Ru Yi oil. Oh well, we came up with all kinds of theories and we were so at a lost of what to do. Then a good friend introduced me to this concept of CLUSTER FEEDING and FUSSY EVENINGS, and asked me to read Kelly Mom for more information on these stuff. Then I know! His behavior is not abnormal. Parents all over the world are experiencing this difficult moment.

Cluster feeding is when baby nurse more and for longer duration for a period of time usually in the evenings before he stores the energy for a longer duration without feedings, which is night time. During this time, baby may feed for a few min, then pull off, then feed then pull off.

Fussy evenings is when baby just simply fusses. Nobody knows exactly why baby fusses more in the evenings or why baby does it. There is something causing discomfort in baby but he can't tell us and we can't diagnose it. So what hubby and I do is we try everything! We rocked baby in cradle hold but he didn't seem to like it so we bounced him while supporting his neck and buttocks and he loved it. So we bounced him for hours. I bounced and sang to him for few minutes, then switch to hubby to bounce, then he started crying regardless of the bouncing and we knew he wanted milk so I nursed him and he pulled off and cried and nursed few minutes and then pulled off and cried again. These went on and on. Until about 12midnight or 1am... Sometimes hubby and I KOed and we had to hand baby over to my mother in law (who was doing confinement for me then) to hold baby while we rest. Usually when we hand baby to mother in law, he wasn't crying so much already.

There's one saying that during fussy evenings, even though what we do may not soothe baby effectively, it doesn't matter because what's more important is baby knows and feels someone is there with him when he's feeling distressed and uncomfortable. Someone cares. Someone loves him. Someone wants all the best for him. Someone is trying their best to make him happy and comfortable. Using this theory, I tell myself to keep calm and positive for baby. There was once I scolded him when he made me so exhausted and I couldn't forgive myself after that. It's absolutely silly of me. Baby doesn't know why he does the thing he does. He just wants cuddles, comfort and attention. So I tell myself never to do that again. When I am tired, I enlist the help of other family members when they are around and I take a nap or rest and do what I like to do. Then I go back with renewed energy and care for baby again. I tell myself that I must give all my heart and love for baby, no matter whether he fusses or he keeps crying or makes my nipple painful and sore, I still tell him he's the most adorable most important person to me, and I love him 100%.

Now, baby is 6 weeks old and everything is much better. Yes, the fussy evenings do get better although its not over yet. The fussiness actually peaked at 6 weeks and then stopped altogether when baby is 3-4 months old. The first month was the most trying. We just don't know how to deal with this little person who just popped into our lives! Baby destroyed whatever misconceptions I have about taking care of babies. I thought its just diaper changing, feeding, carrying... anyway, babies sleep most of the time, don't they? Alamak its not so simple and not so easy! If there's anyone who needs to teach their horny teenager a thing or two about safe sex, just come baby-sit my baby during one of his super fussy evenings! Those movies which glorified single parenthood? "Glorified" is an understatement! It's blatant distortion of reality! I can't imagine taking care of baby if I do not have hubby and parents or parents in law. I'll get really shagged and crazy.

6. I've a very sleepy newborn who refused to wake up for feeds, and when he does, he falls asleep quickly after nursing for a while!

I had the same problem because my baby had jaundice and jaundice babies are very sleepy. Those were my darkest moments. I became very depressed and cried almost everyday at about 5pm. Post-natal depression. I was also very possessive of baby, feeling unhappy whenever people, other than my hubby, hold him, and wanted to keep baby at my side at all times. I cried at every and any thing, including stories I read online, TV shows, News etc... even those stories that weren't even touching or sad and people won't usually cry at.

You just have to keep waking baby up! It wasn't easy. I had to tickle his ears, tickle his feet, touch him, talk to him, and my hubby read the news aloud to him so as to keep him awake, and yet most of the time, to no avail... yes, that's how frustrating it is. But we just keep doing it. The elders say, aiyoh, see he slept so well, let him sleep, no need to wake him up! But I refused to listen. I am one very headstrong mummy! I kept to the 2 hr feed schedule, sometimes changing to 3 hr feed if he seems to drink more during the previous session. I wake baby up every 2 hr, using whatever method we could think of or read about. Tickling, changing diaper, rubbing his chest, press cold towel on his face and chest... really whatever method. And I kept feeding him. We were delighted that during his 3rd week assessment, even when he still had jaundice, his weight has gained to more than the birth weight! Babies' weight should go back to birth weight by 1 month, and he's already much much better :) This gave me confidence and I continued feeding him with renewed vigor.

A certain pediatrician in Mount Alvernia told us to feed baby infant formula at night and to feed baby water because he has jaundice. Needless to say, I've stopped visiting this pediatrician and changed to a more breastfeeding friendly one. That one even told me to not be a hero, and that she had gone through this and she knows. Pui! I'm glad I never followed through any of her "advices" and persisted in total breastfeeding.

Total breastfed baby has jaundice that last longer but they will go alway. Mine only goes away slightly after his 1st month. Now, he no longer feeds on schedule because he can wake up for feeds already. He cries for feeds or sometimes, I see that he is awake and shows rooting behavior and feed him before he cries. My dad kept saying, let him be hungry for awhile and let him cry very hard before feeding him, then he'll drink more. But I do not see the necessity. Anyway, my baby feeds very well even though I don't let him cry hard for milk. I don't like to purposely allow my baby to cry. Excessive crying isn't good for babies' throats and babies with needs consistently ignored will grow up to become very insecure.

7. My baby keeps hiccuping. Can I give him some hot water?

There's no need to give water to babies when they hiccup. Its natural for them to hiccup and it goes away by itself after a while. Older generations have been advising me to give warm water to baby when he hiccup. Oh well. Some comments is 聽聽就好，笑一笑就忘了. But when it comes to my mother in law, who is doing confinement for me and thus caring for baby too, I am very firm about NO WATER for baby because I am doing total breastfeeding. Giving them water when they hiccup may choke them. See number 8 on why total breastfed babies do not need water at all. Remember to give very firm and definite rules to your confinement ladies and whoever helps care for him or her. Don't let them rule over you.

8. Does total breastfed babies need water?

The answer is NO! Many people like to suggest giving water to babies because they have been used to feeding babies infant formula. Total breastfed babies get the hydration and fat requirement from mothers' breast milk and that's all that they need. Feeding water to total breastfed babies can make them feel artificially full and they won't request for milk, won't suck more milk during feeding and thus may interfere with their growth. I've been breastfeeding my baby all the while and never giving him a drop of water. He's not dehydrated and he's growing very well.

9. What is total breastfeeding and partial breastfeeding?

Some mothers choose to give babies breast milk at times and infant formula or soy milk infant formula at other times. Usually they give infant formula at night so that baby feels "fuller" and will sleep for longer hours. Then mothers and confinement lady or whoever is the caregiver can get more sleep. This is partial breastfeeding. Total breastfeeding is feeding baby breast milk exclusively, with no water, no glucose, no infant formula as supplement.

10. Is partial breastfeeding better? I can get more sleep at night then!

Personally, I do not agree with this practice. Firstly, if you mix breast milk with infant formula, your milk supply may gradually dry up. This will lead to earlier weaning from breastfeeding. Breastfeeding works on a supply-demand basis. If there's less demand from baby, baby latches on lesser and sucks less, of course, your milk production will decrease because your body will send signal to your brain to stop producing more milk as there's no high demand for it.

Secondly, to feed baby infant formula makes him have a "fuller" feeling but that's not because infant formula is better! Quite on the contrary, its because infant formula is harder to digest. That's why when breastfed babies need to be fed every 2-3 hourly, infant formula fed babies only need to be fed 3-4hourly. Yes, caregivers or mothers get more time to do chores, and they get more sleep but is that good for baby? I'm not saying that infant formula is bad for babies but it definitely is inferior to my breast milk. I'm giving the best to my precious baby! Also, I do not think I should sacrifice baby's health just for my convenience. Not to worry, baby do learn to sleep longer hours at night as they grow older. That day WILL come. Anyway, some infant formula fed babies still wake up a lot over the night for night feeds so there isn't much difference in terms of the rest you get.

11. But if I breastfeed baby, its so difficult to bring her out!

No, its not! I've brought baby to shopping malls at Orchard Road and to baby showers and housewarming parties, and he's only 6 weeks old. Its generally difficult to bring such young babies out. Their needs are numerous and when they need something, they want it immediate. My baby cried so loudly in the MRT that we were terribly embarrassed.

Its NOT MORE DIFFICULT to bring breastfed babies out. All you need is a sling to sling your baby and a breastfeeding cover to cover him up as you feed him. Shopping will take a longer time though as you may need to find a nursing room or if there's none, you may need to find a quiet corner to sit down and feed baby. My friend has tried walking around shopping and breast-feeding baby discreetly in sling and breastfeeding cover so its not impossible! But I haven't tried that. My baby is so heavy and big... my shoulders will ache like crazy haha. But sometimes he like me to walk around as I feed him. If you don't have a sling, you can also just carry him and feed him under a cover. Some clothes are breastfeeding friendly and you can just pop baby under the cover of the blouse and feed.

Here's a picture of me wearing the sling on an MRT:

And here's a picture of me and my baby feeding under the breastfeeding cover:

You do need to have a change in wardrobe though. I have to give up many of my dresses and blouses and exchange them for blouses that have front open buttons to facilitate feeding.

There are a lot of nursing rooms in shopping malls in singapore. There's a list in this forum thread that you check before you go shopping. Some malls even offer free baby stroller loans.

Disclaimer: The above are personal opinions and preferences from my own experience and other mothers may have very different recommendations :)

I'll add to this FAQ as new questions pops up :)

Last edited 27 Nov 2011, 6.30pm

Growth spurt

2011-11-21T12:51:00.004+08:00

Baby is having his 6th week growth spurt. He has out grown many of the newborn clothes. He can wear clothes meant for 3 month olds already!

Baby is 4.66kg at 5 weeks old. A big difference from his birth weight of 2.96kg

Me, I'm 50.1kg 5 weeks after giving birth. Pre-preg weight is 46kg. 4 more kg to lose but I'm not worried. 50kg is a good weight too.

I'm slimming down quite fast although I still have a flabby tummy. Its not too easy to lose. I'll give it a few more months. Moreover, I'm doing a lot of exercise walking and packing my new home. Breastfeeding also help to lose fats. Wearing the right clothes would hide those tummy and make me look deceivingly slim hahaha.

We took baby out shopping last Saturday. Forgiven hubby since he's sincerely interested in what I'm trying to discuss with him again. Time and again, he'll go back to his old ways- busy with his own plans, never consult me when he say "yes" to invitations and events, dun spend enough quality time with me etc etc... oh well, everyone is not perfect so I cannot ask for more since he's already trying hard not to repeat those habits which I dislike.

He comes home everyday to be with me and baby and that's very sweet already. At least he won't fill his schedule with outings with friends and live life like he's still a bachelor. Some husbands do and I dun understand how their wives can stand it.

My baby's undergoing growth spurt again and its really tiring. I couldn't brush teeth, wash face and have breakfast today coz he kept demanding for milk, and kept drinking and drinking non stop. I only had breakfast at 12pm in the afternoon when baby finally sleeps. Lucky my parents are here to help baby bath and hold baby while I do other stuff. I'm really so tired out. But I'm enjoying every moment with my darling baby, even in his fussy and naughty moments.

Not forgiving anytime soon

2011-11-18T12:48:00.002+08:00

With a little baby, there are so many inconveniences to things that would have been simple in life.

Yesterday I was trying to discuss with hubby about the schedules for the coming weeks as I have several baby shower and wedding invitations to attend and I'm not sure baby is fit to attend them with us. For one, he fusses a lot in the evening and it'll be so embarrassing if he cries and cries if I try to feed him. And he still wails when we put him in the car seat for a long ride.

This Sunday I have to attend a wedding in the morning, a baby shower in the evening, Monday, another wedding in the evening, then during the weekend, I was hoping to put money in baby's CDA account for use when we need it. Next Sat, we have to attend a relative's house warming and baby must go for this one, then the following week is another good friend's baby shower.

But I am very sad. Yesterday when Hubby and I had a chance to talk over dinner, all he was concerned about was Groupon discounts and surfing the net. I haven't completed my sentence and he was already calling someone over the phone about something he read online. I had appalled by his lack of interest in what I was saying. I am interested in planning a schedule but he was more interested in commenting on other people's choice of baby shower timings. Irritated max. It got to the extend that I snatch his handphone from him in an attempt to make him listen but I guess that attempt failed too. I felt like smashing the idiot phone against the wall although I returned it to him. Later, I went in to look after baby and he knew I was unhappy but that's too late. If he doesn't care, then why should I bother? I will just make the arrangements myself and he doesn't need to be in the picture since he doesn't care.

Sometimes it pains me to see how less effort hubby is investing in baby's care. I understand he has to work. But the most he did is to hold baby awhile in the evening. He doesn't need to wake up in the middle of the night to care for baby, change diaper or feed baby. I try to let him sleep as much as possible and be as stress free as possible by doing everything myself but I dun want him to take things for granted. Does he know that other dads wake up in the middle of the night to rock baby to sleep when they wake up crying? Does he know that other dads come home to play with baby, change nappy, cook dinner etc instead of checking mails, reading news and watching tv like he does?

I refused to talk to him much in the morning. He doesn't realized his mistake. Guys will not reaslise their mistake if you tell them how wrong they are in the face. Guys will never learn. Even after he sensed that something is wrong, he doesn't know how he can make it right. He just sleeps at the time he sleeps everyday. Even though he knows my love language is "quality time", he doesn't give me the attention that I require. These few nights, it is always dinner, feeding baby and then I will entertain baby until he sleeps, and wake up in the middle of the night to care for baby while he continue on his usual lifestyle of sleeping before 11pm and wakes up for work. Its not that I am complaining about the unfairness. I just want him to realise all these doesn't come easy. He comes home to marvel at baby's cuteness while I do all the work and the pacifying.

Yes, I'm feeling very bitter, and no, I am not ready to forgive him. Especially since he isn't even doing anything to ask for forgiveness too. Taking too much for granted... taking too much for granted... :(

settling down with baby

2011-11-16T15:42:00.002+08:00

Settling down in my new home. Its cool to be here in Punggol. The weather is almost always cool, and at night, when there's a storm, the wind raged up a cool howling sound, like wolves' howls. Isn't it great? Its like sleeping in a tent in the wild. I've always always love nature!

The cool weather is great for my baby. He's really scared of heat. It pains me to see him sweaty all over after a nap. Oh yes, baby fusses every evening but the change is that I've already got used to it and am prepared to handle his fusses even though he still tires me out every time. Hubby came home late usually, and after dinner and unpacking some stuff, he needs to sleep earlier to prepare for tomorrow's work, and boy, he really can sleep over baby's cries -.-" So its up to me alone to entertain this little tyke until he got tired and finally sleep.

Our house is in a mess coz there r just so many things to unpack and tidy up. So many things to do everyday. Feeding baby, bathing baby etc, all these are routine chores. So when I get some free time, I'll do the unpacking and sorting.

I'm extremely grateful to my parents and parents in law for coming over to help with household chores and cooking. I really cannot imagine doing all these alone with a small baby to care for. I dun mind it if I have full night's sleep but this little one has been waking me up 3 times over the night, and demands to be held and played with in the early morning. Which machine has this much energy?

Today, we bring baby out. He's getting very used to the car seat and does not fusses as much as the first time we put him in it. Dad drove us to visit my aunts. One of my aunts is handicapped so she couldn't come to visit baby. She's so happy to see my baby just now. Then we went out for lunch at Greenland Vegetarian Restaurant. Very tasty food. I will rate it 8/10. As we ate, baby too, had his "lunch" over the breastfeeding cover. Haha. He's so guai, not making too much noises and not fussing. Otherwise, I'll have to entertain him and walk around, which isn't so convenient in a restaurant. I love it when he unlatches after he's had his fill and sleep soundly at my chest. He looks so contented and so snugly warm.

He's now sleeping on my parents' bed. At my parents home now after lunch. Hubby is coming for dinner, and then we'll go home together with baby. I'm enjoying the day :)

Moving out finally!

2011-11-11T16:31:00.006+08:00

We are moving to our new flat at Punggol tomorrow. A month long's confinement has ended. And this will be the last time I'm doing confinement, man. Last time. I'm absolutely certain about that.

I'm a free spirited person and to have people telling you can't do this, you can't do that based on the beliefs of some ancestors is a torture. I wonder why I agree to do it in the first place, really. I told hubby when I die, I'm going to search for those people who came up with the confinement rules and give them a piece of my mind.

I also can't stand not showering. Irritated me max.

I also hate the lack of privacy when staying here at parents in laws' place. Can't wait to move back to new home. There's no place like home really when I can be free from unsolicited comments, advices and restrictions. But I really am not sure whether I can handle baby well alone. I mean baby has been waking me up for feeds 3 times at night recently. He also need diaper change at least once at night. He is also very demanding in that he'll ask for attention and refused to sleep. In the morning, I am so beaten that I'll enlist mother in law's help and take well deserved naps. I only managed to be more awake in the afternoons. I wonder how I can cope when such help isn't available. But at times, I really wish for more private moments with darling baby so that whenever he wants, I can just take off my shirt and breastfeed in the living room, at the sofa, on the beanbag, anywhere... and I can hold baby while I nap like what i did previously on the beanbag... and I can do anything my way and go anywhere I like without anyone interfering.

Then just now, my mother in law told me that her friend, a housing agent told her to check teletext for availability of sale of the flat unit opposite our new home. It has been empty for quite sometime and nobody has moved in yet. Then hubby's Aunt told mother in law to sell her home and buy the unit opposite ours. She asked me check teletext. Huh teletext such an outdated technology? I only remember my mother checking it for 4D numbers and thats about all the use it has. Super slow also. I told her I've never used teletext before and ignored them. Serious bad idea. If we had wanted to stay with parents, we wouldn't have moved out. Now you want them to move opposite us? I would love to tell nosy parkers to STFU, yes, a very unmotherly phrase to say but yes, I mean it. STFU.

Refusing to nap

2011-11-09T04:31:00.004+08:00

Baby was super active yesterday. He refused to nap and fussed at my breast since afternoon.

The night before, he skipped his evening fussiness and kept sleeping after feeds. I thought it's a wonderful break for hubby and me. Little did I know that he will pay it back double the next day. Lol...

I was so tired by evening that I handed baby to mother in law and took naps. Actually I was hoping hubby would come home to help but he suddenly felt weakness in his body and usually that is the first sign of cold or flu for him. So he kept a distance from baby, wore a mask and slept outside. I can only depend on myself. I told him it's alright, I'm independent. But in the end, I gave up and handed baby to mother in law to be coaxed to sleep after I fed him. I tried to ignore his cries and whimpers which melted my heart and tried to catch some sleep myself.

I was glad that the next time I heard baby crying for milk, it's 3am already. Mother in law had put baby to sleep in the cot beside me. I'm amazed she managed to rock baby to sleep. It must have been very difficult. Baby is extremely naughty during his fussy period and he'll demand for so much attention and threaten to be rocked in his favourite way or else face his loud and endless cry.

Now baby is stretching and grunting in the cot. Not yet in deep deep sleep yet. Boy, his grunts are super loud! He just had his milk and I've pumped out the rest of the milk to relieve engorgement. I really should have sterilized the pump so as to pump and keep the milk. I pumped out one full bottle. Such a waste to throw it away but I was too tired and didn't think clearly. I usually try to keep the milk I pump out during night feeds because milk flow is faster between midnight to 6am and I really can pump out a lot to store at a short time. Never mind, I shall do that for the second feed.

Baby picks up routine very quickly. Hwhen he wakes up in the morning, he needs to have milk. After morning bath, he needs to have milk, even if he'd had milk shortly before, he'll still demand for it. If he's not hungry, he'll drink only a few minutes but at least he suckled and that's good enough for him. This tells me that I have to train him sleeping routine as soon as he begin to want to sleep longer. I read that babies will develop sleep wake cycle at 6-8weeks old, so at this time, it's best time to develop a good sleeping routine that will help baby sleep better and be less fussy during sleeping time.

Time for bed before baby wakes up for second night feed. Good night... I mean... Morning... Yawn...

Preconceptions vs Reality of parenthood

2011-11-06T09:07:00.002+08:00

Before having my baby, I thought babies... :
Sleep like sweet angels at night :)
Reality:
Babies grunt and groan when they stretch. Mine is super loud and makes lots of noises.

Before having my baby, I thought babies... :
Will be peaceful and lovely all day and night.
Reality:
There is such thing as evening fussiness when babies cry and fuss and is just very naughty and won't sleep... And there's nothing we can do but to entertain him until he sleeps.

Before having my baby, I thought... :
The biggest challenge is breastfeeding - having enough milk, correct latching, baby drinking well etc. Follow the book and I'll be ok...
Reality
Throw away the book. Every baby is different. Ok, the book on breastfeeding does help to understand basic concepts but breastfeeding isn't about following everything the book says. Following my baby's character and demands is more important.

Before having my baby, I thought... :
I'll still have lots of time to rest and enjoy doing craft and art.
Reality:
Feeing baby every 2-3hr and waking up at night to feed him 2-3 times? No more time and energy to do other stuff. Maybe until he's a little older...

Before having my baby, I thought... :
I'll still be the same me whatever happens.
Reality:
Never have I felt such intense love and desire to protect someone other than myself. I will brave storms, face monsters, ghosts, evils and even fierce dogs and cockroaches for the sake of my little one. I guess I'm not the same anymore.

There are still more realisation to come. Being a mother makes me understand with deeper meaning when my parents tell me how sick I fell when I was a child and how worried they were, how concerned they are when I refused to eat, and the problems they faced when I was a baby. They seemed easy before I faced them myself but now, I can understand the feelings of being a parent. "Being a parent" these simple words encompasses more than you could think of.

Baby cold

2011-11-02T17:24:00.002+08:00

Oh no, we are so sad. Baby was only 23 day old when he suddenly developed cold symptoms. Yesterday 3am, baby woke up for milk but after drinking, he still woke up at 4am, 5am and 6am, crying but not drinking a lot of milk when I offered him nipple. He started coughing a lot and making weird noises with his nose. We realized that its not normal and wanted to take him to polyclinic as we had planned to bring him for his jaundice check up. But in the morning, hubby and I decided its better to bring him to pediatrician instead. He seemed to be feeling really terrible.

Dr Ong saw him and explained to us some coughing and sneezing is normal but checked and said baby has a lot mucous. But he dun recommend babies this young taking medicine. He said there are babies who stopped breathing altogether and turned blue after taking medicine that cause drowsiness. He told me us to use a saline spray to spray into baby's nostrils to let the mucous come out. He said baby will sneeze it out or it will come out as runny substance.

We used it once yesterday and baby was crying and crying. We had to hold his head. Poor thing! We used it again this morning and afternoon. He seemed more relieve after using the spray. We'll use it again this evening a few min before his feed and then let him sleep. Hopefully he'll be fine. My poor baby. I hope he will get well soon. In the day he's ok. The worst usually happened at night, usually when he wakes up for night feeds... and that will be my problem alone coz at that time, nobody can help me :(

What's worse is that mother in law had cold and its probably her who passed the virus to baby even though she already took good precaution like wearing a mask. So its more tiring because we dun dare to let her carry baby. We have to care for baby on our own and hubby has to learn how to bathe baby. Sigh. Its all so tormenting... but I shall survive this, and baby will get stronger!

Fussy evenings

2011-10-30T22:57:00.003+08:00

Phew everything is getting so much better. Baby is no longer so sleepy that he refuse to wake up for feeds. Infact, he wakes up almost every 2 hours to demand for milk! I'm a happy mom! In ther afternoon, when it's warm and he's snuggly swaddled, he will just sleep and sleep, so I've to wake him up but he feeds well after be woke up and realized he's hungry. So far, baby is feeding about 10 times day, sometimes drinking only 5min to quench his thirst and sometimes drinking up to 45min. He's asking for more milk at a closer interval which means he's growing up and needing more!

Baby's fussy evenings started this week and at first we were caught off guard, not knowing exactly why he kept crying n even spit out a lot of milk. Baby would demand for feed, but pull off or cry and cry when I offer him the nipple.

Now we catch Yun Xuan's pattern. During the fussy phase, he needs a lot of hugs, hear papa and mummy's voice talking to him, singing to him, and rocking him gently. I feed him milk when he's calm enough so that minimize the fussiness. His fussiness starts sometime around 7pm. Sometimes he can fuss until midnight or later, making us feel so exhausted. He just refuses to sleep and keep demanding for attention and feeds. I do not dare overfeed him though because there was once I fed him too much at a short interval and he vomited out the milk.

My lovely baby Yun Xuan is now putting on weight, apparent from the chubby look he now has, and he has grown so much taller! Mother in law says he's a really tall baby. He takes after his dad, thankfully! I dun want him to be 2cm short of 1.6m like me, haha.

Next week, we are bringing him to the Polyclinic to check how his jaundice is. Hopefully, the bilirubin level in his blood will go down. I have a feeling it has because he is so much more wakeful and alert now, and the yellow colour on his skin doesn't seem to be there anymore although the whites of eyes still has some yellowish stain. He doesn't seem to be a jaundice baby anymore. I wish Yun Xuan will be given an all clear by the Polyclinic doctor, otherwise it means more jabs and more blood test. So heartache.

I can recognize my baby's cry among the baby's cry at the nursery in the hospital. His cry is very unique and unlike other babies, his cry is very soft and gentle, not the loud wailing kind. But he likes to protest by making "errrr" sounds. He also makes this sound when he stretches while he sleeps. Very adorable!

I've to go back to cuddle my baby although I'm really tired. Lucky hubby is around to help me during his fussy evenings. If I handle him alone, my arms will break n I'll be so exhausted, I'll cry.

Baby feeds

2011-10-21T09:34:00.002+08:00

I was so depressed yesterday evening that I called hubby and cried, telling him how our darling babe refused to wake up for feeds and drink so little when I put him to my breast.

When hubby came home, I was in tears and I cried as I ate my dinner. MIL and others saw and were concerned but they cannot be of any help. I need hubby to be there with me, sharing the pain and the worries.

Luckily, baby suddenly came alive in the evening. After changing diaper, baby fed 35min! He totally drained out the milk on one of my breasts! I gave him the other breast. He suckled for 5min and decided to call it a day. Hubby played with baby and I joined in the play, feeling so happy. I'm jealous of hubby. He loves his daddy and only behaves when daddy comes home. Yesterday, he was smiling and gaggling to hubby before he goes to work! But in the day when I try to wake him up, he just sleeps and sleeps like a koala.

As for night feeds, he had a good sleep after a hearty meal and woke me up at 2.30 with his cries. I can sense his impatience. I quickly pump out some milk to keep the aerola soft, picked up Yun Xuan and fed him. He's enjoying his feed very much. He drank a lot and then fell asleep. I'm so happy! After Yun Xuan went back to sleep in his cot, I kneeled down and gave my thanks to God. God blessed my little baby!

I'm happy when he feeds more and depressed when he feeds less or reject feeds. Sigh. My emotions are controlled by this little baby.

This morning, he woke up at 7am for his sun bath to prevent jaundice, and at 8am he is crying so hungrily for his feeds, he cannot play with his Papa before he goes to work. I fed him quite a lot too until he seems satisfied and then let him rest until his bath time.

Now baby Yun Xuan is lying down, and resting, fully awake after a good bath. But not hungry so I can't feed him. I had wanted to feed him after bath but he's too hungry before bath so I had to feed him before bath.

Hugs my dearest Yun Xuan baby. Everyday, we wait for daddy to come home to accompany us. It's really a torture doing confinement. The food is great coz my mother in law cooks very well but I can't shower and drink cold drinks in such hot weather. This is horrible. I switch on air con time and again to cool myself down. My MIL likes to swaddle Yun Xuan up and he's very red and hot after awhile because there isn't even fan blowing at him or air con! Back at our own home, I will keep baby cool with air con. If babies are swaddled too hot, they are at risk of Sudden Infant Death (SID).

20 more days to baby's full month! 2 more weeks and my confinement will be over. I can go wherever I want provided I can feed baby when he demands. Hugs dearest hubby and Yun Xuan. They are the most precious to me.

Jaundice fear

2011-10-20T16:13:00.002+08:00

We were so afraid that baby's jaundice will persists and his bilirubin level will go up because lately, he still looks so yellowish. You can see his skin is yellowish and his eye whites are yellowish. I was so worried that I cried and cried. My hubby too was very very worried. We consulted our friends, anyone we could think of who can give advices, read online articles, forums etc, and looked for another pediatrician to seek a second opinion. The previous one whom we saw kept asking me to feed baby water in the day and infant formula at night so I am very unhappy with her.

Hubby's aunt told us about a pediatrician that her ex-colleague recommended. I read online that he's good and highly recommended by many mothers in the forum. Sure enough, Dr Ong EK of International Child and Adolescent Clinic is experienced and patiently explained to me about jaundice and other baby issues like baby acne, white spots in baby's mouth, etc. He is very detailed and even noticed that baby's umbilical cord is not so well cleaned and clean the sides for us with alcohol swipe. Very nice doctor. Kinderclinic initially arranged for baby to do blood test again this friday. I asked whether we could change the blood test to his clinic instead. But the nurse misunderstood that I requested for baby to have a blood test done. Lucky another nurse saw that the bilirubin level is 12.6, not that high and said my baby should not be required to do another test. She went to check with Dr Ong again and he said it is not necessary. Lucky! Coz I dun want my baby to undergo another poke and drawing of blood again unnecessarily. So heart pain.

My dearest baby still is very sleepy and won't wake up for feeds every 2-3 hourly. He also falls asleep very easily 5-10min into the feed. If I'm lucky and he's very hungry, he can feed for 25min-30min with some intermittent stopping to burb or when he accidentally unlatch. My happiest is when he feed 35-40min at one feed! But that is rare. He usual pattern is feed 5min, sleep, wake him up, burb, feed 10min, sleep, wake him up, change diaper, feed 5min sleep. Sigh. When can my darling baby feed longer and wake up more?

I think I don't really want to worry about the night feeds anymore. Just let him sleep through the night since he is so sleepy. Coz last 2 nights I worried so much that I had nightmare and hallucination. Couldn't sleep well at all.

I am so concerned about his feeding because he needs to feed well and poo mustard yellow colored poo often in order to clear his jaundice. Every time I explained his situation to pediatrician, they say its normal for baby this young to sleep often but make sure he feeds well. But sleep so often and so easily how to feed well?! Sigh, the problem is my own to face. I told my hubby to not be stressed and worried like me, and instead be my support and pillar and keep me positive when I am stressed up. When both parents go crazy, its difficult to make good decisions. I'm so emotional lately that I'll cry so easily. I was so desperate for my baby to stay awake and feed just now, that I prayed to God to let him feed longer. Please God, bless my little baby and keep him healthy and glowing.

Baby Kieran Sia Yun Xuan is born on 10 Oct 2010!

2011-10-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

My dearest baby Sia Yun Xuan Kieran is born on 10 Oct 2011. A wonderful date, isn't it?!

Haha.

The whole delivery process goes like this:

early morning, hubby and I woke up for breakfast as usual. Rainy day and Hubby said rainy days are usually lucky days for him. He has a feeling something good will be happening today!

Hubby received call from the company he went for interview at and he was informed that he is offered a placement. He called me to talk about handing in his resignation and asked if there's any sign of labour yet. I said no. No bloody show, no nothing. I'm still 38 weeks 4 days pregnant.

I went to take a short nap.

10.30am, while lying down on bed, resting, I heard, or rather felt a "pop" sound below, somewhere at my lower tummy. A few minutes later, I felt warm gush of fluid there, much like period coming.

Heart pounding, I rushed to the bathroom and saw my pantyliner stained with pinkish liquid. Washed and saw clear liquid with some blood stains flowing up continuously.

Called hubby and asked him whether he has tendered. He said yes. I told him water bag burst. He was shocked. I told him I was very frightened and nervous. He asked me not to be afraid and asked me to call my doctor and my dad immediately. Dad will come to drive me to hospital.

Dr Ho's clinic nurse asked me whether the flow of liquid is a lot. Its trickling but not a big gush. So I was advised to go to the clinic first. We did a fetal heartbeat test and Dr Ho checked and dilation. I was already 3cm dilated! I was like huh, 3cm and I felt no contraction?

He sent me to the labour ward. I didn't have anything except breakfast at 8am in the morning. Dr Ho said better not to eat anything in case an emergency surgery is necessary. When I'm in labour, I won't feel like eating anyway. A nurse in his office is so kind to give me a pack of biscuits. My parents, and hubby are with me. My parents in law are on their way. I couldn't believe it. My water bag broke at 10 Oct 2011, exactly the date I wish he will be born. My little angel!

I was so nervous when I went to the delivery ward. I was told to change into the hospital gown but leave the back unbuttoned in case I need epidural which needs to be injected to my spine. The nurses are so friendly and kindly answered my questions. Their calmness made me less nervous and afraid.

I'm so glad hubby is with me throughout the whole process. I am lucky to have such a loving and supportive husband. I love hubby.

The contraction was really painful. It started soon after I lie down on the bed with IVF inserted. I am relieved the anasthesist finally came and injected epidural. One painful insertion of the needle and one rather painful insertion of the catheter and then there's no more pain. I used the laughing gas because I thought it can help me alleviate the pain but the gas doesn't have much use. Gripping hard on the handle of the laughing gas pump helps though.

Then we waited another few more hours. Dr Ho came to check and said its still 3cm. My contraction isn't strong enough to dilate the cervix. He ordered the IVF medicine to be increased and within 1 hour, my cervix was dilated another 4 cm. Soon, the nurses came and said they want to prepare for delivery. Lucky that I used epidural. Hubby said the scale went really high up during peak of the contraction.

Then, I was 10cm dilated. Dr Ho came and told me he is going to deliver the baby now. He will use a vacuum but he still need me to push. I couldn't feel anything there after the epidural but the nurses and dearest hubby encouraged me to push when I should. I pushed not so hard at first. Then with their encouragement, I pushed harder and harder.

We heard baby's cry and there! My darling little angel Yun Xuan is born!

I immediately felt my stomach went "down" and the nurse put a crying little baby on the cloth on my chest. I was amazed and I really am not sure whether I should touch baby or hug him or what... My hubby is so brave! He watched the whole delivery process and see baby's head emerge from my vagina. He said baby came out facing side ways.

Then we watched and took photos of little Yun Xuan while doctor stitched me up. After that, Dr Ho informed me that I will feel pain a few hours later when the epidural wears off. Little did I know that the pain would be so intense that I couldn't sleep at all on day 1! Dr Ho came to check the stitches on the 2nd day and told me that besides the episiotomy, I also suffered a larger tear on the right side because my skin was too delicate. That explained the long time he took to stitch me up.

The lactation consultant came on the day after delivery to teach me breastfeeding but I couldn't do it well because the wound hurts so much! Most of my energy is gone to bearing the pain of the wound. I called hubby early on the day after the delivery to ask him to came to hospital quickly, I need him as I was feeling so extremely painful.

I love my little darling. He had jaundice on day 3 and his bilirubin level went up to level 14. So I stayed one more day to accompany him. I tried to breastfeed him as best as I can and to relieve his agony of taking off all his clothes and going under the phototherapy, I asked the nurses to feed him formula milk if he cried too hard. Then the next day, he level is 11.5 and the doctor said he can go home. Babies can go home if they are below level 10 but the doctor said he can go home but we must feed him well, make sure he passes urine and stool well and he has some sun bathing in the morning between 8-10am.

I really love my darling baby. Now, he is suffering because his bilirubin level is still high, he keeps sleeping and sleeping, not waking up every 2-3 hourly for feeds. My breasts are engoarged and I really really want to feed my little darling like I did in the hospital. I don't know what I should do. I'm at such a lost. I just want my little darling to get well as soon as possible. If he don't get enough bresatmilk, his bilirubin level will go up, and I can't bear my darling baby doing back to hospital again. If he needs to be admitted, what should I do?

He's not feeding well like other babies. He just kept sleeping. I'm useless at waking him up.

I was miserable that I was crying since this afternoon. Thinking of my little baby suffering makes me cry more and more. Other people around me showing concern made me cry even more! I just hope they would just leave me alone so that I can spend time with just me and my baby and I don't have to feel terrible with people disturbing me when I feed him and I don't have to bother with unwelcomed advices. I just want my hubby to be beside me, talking to me, reassuring me, caring for me and telling me baby and I are just going to be fine.

I hope I everything goes well for my beloved and we can be happy again.

Baby's head is engaged!

2011-10-06T22:29:00.003+08:00

Baby's head is engaged

Today, I met Dr Ho for regular weekly check up again. He did a scan and immediately said baby's head is engaged. I had a feeling baby's head is already in my pelvic bone cavity even before he announced it because the usual symptoms:

Increase urge to urinate
Feeling baby has "lightened" and tummy looks like it dropped lower
Heavy feeling at tummy, walking more like penguin

applied to me over these few days.

Occipito posterior position

Unfortunately, he also said baby is engaged in a face up orientation. This is called the occipito posterior position, where usually, baby faces up when I lie down and his back faces my back towards either right or left side.

The problem with this is that whenever a contraction occurs, baby's head will be forced to tilt in such an angle that it hits against nerves at my spine which causes extreme backache. Dr Ho's suggestion is that I request for epidural once I felt that I cannot tahan the pain. I asked him usually how much dilated should I be when I request for epidural, and he said there's no hard and fast rule, but if I'm 3cm dilated, feeling super painful and there's a long way to go coz cervix dilate only 1cm per hour, then it is advisable to get epidural. If I'm too exhausted when it is time to push, it will be worse.

I asked him whether there's any chance baby will turn to the "correct" position which is face down. He didn't say there will be or there won't be. I guess I need a miracle... or some exercise I can do now to help. I read online that if I could be on my hands and knees for 20min 3 times a day and do pelvic tilt exercise 3 times a day, they can help baby turn face down.

A nurse who usually helped Dr Ho in the doctor's room told me not to worry, just go to pray more at religious hall for baby's head to turn. Hahaha. Everyone I met at Mt Alvernia is so nice and friendly.

Caesarean may not be necessary

He did not say a Caesarean is necessary so we assume it may not be. I read up online that a occipito posterior position does not require Caesarean unless there is fetal distress or other problems. However, like what Dr Ho warned us, it will be a difficult labour. The labour will last longer, the mother will feel more pain with each contraction, and it won't be easy for baby to come out. We placed our trust in Dr Ho. He is very experienced. Pray hard my baby will turn to the Occipito-Anterior position which ensures a higher chance of normal delivery. Aiyoh, most babies' presentation is head first and face down... why my little Kieran choose face up? I was once told my uterus, unlike most women's, is shaped vertically instead of horizontally, so my baby feel more comfortable in a sitting position than in a lying down position in early pregnancy. The radiologist told me during Oscar scan. Perhaps this influenced baby's position in late pregnancy too? I never asked coz hubby only thought of this and brought it up after we came out of the clinic.

More frequent visits to Obstetrician

Today is Thursday. I had to go back to see Dr Ho this Sat. He said he will see me more often, and not wait for a week to see me again because I have history of low fetal movement. My weight also dropped from 60.7 to 60kg today but I'm not sure why. I'm eating well. Perhaps I dressed in lighter clothing or perhaps I ate lesser for lunch today. The nurse said I have to do fetal heartbeat test for every visit (unless doctor say no need to) and its even more necessary today since my weight decreased. I lie down with 2 round disc strapped to my tummy and listen to baby's heartbeat for 20min. There's a record of baby's heartbeat on a chart. So far I've done 3 tests and all 3 are normal. Each test cost extra and are not included in the package though. But cost is not an issue when it comes to safety and health of baby.

Every night, when I lie down and feel baby moving inside me, I felt so nervous and I keep thinking about the labour and the process. As I was doing the heartbeat test in the quiet and small room just now, I felt my own heart beat increase as I imagine that perhaps doctor will advise me to give birth today due to some complications or he'll check and say I'm ready for childbirth already... I certainly do not feel I'm ready for labour yet! BUT I wish baby will come meet us sooner. My feelings are contradicting... I wish baby will give me a very clear sign that he is ready to be out, like some regular contractions or pain or mucous discharge, anything like that, then I will feel more ready to go for labour.

DIY cupcake stand

2011-10-06T15:10:00.005+08:00

I tried to DIY my own cupcake stand after reading an article from here. Its a pretty nice blog if you enjoy making cupcakes, cakes and stuff :)

I'd like to share the process and cost of making my cupcake stand as shown in the pictures below:

View from top angle

View from the side

The materials are:

14" cake board
Quantity: 1, Bought from: Phoon Huat at Blk 422 Ang Mo Kio, Cost: $1.40

12" cake board
Quantity: 1, Bought from: Phoon Huat, Cost: $0.85

8" cake board

Quantity: 1, Bought from: Phoon Huat, Cost: $0.55
(They sell in quantity of 5 per pack so its 5 for $2.75.)

7" Dummy styrofoam cake round
Quantity: 2, Bought from: Phoon Huat, Cost: $7.00

6" Dummy styrofoam cake round
Quantity: 2, Bought from: Phoon Huat, Cost: $6.60

Wrapping paper
Quantity: 1, Bought from: Precious Moments, Cost: $1.20
(You can also get better quality thick paper from Paper House or Art Friend but here, I want to save cost so I use cheaper alternatives.)

Ribbons
Quantity: not very sure, I bought about 11metres and there is still some left.
Bought from: A shop in Ang Mo Kio centre selling sewing, knitting stuff and ribbons
Cost: $2.60

Small head pins
Quantity: A few

White glue
Quantity: 1
(Do not use UHU glue because it corrodes styrofoam. But you can choose to use double sided tapes instead of white glue. I used white glue because my parents happened to have one at our home.)

Of course you will need a pair of good scissors and pencil too.

The process:

1. Stick the two 6" dummy cake rounds together with white glue, and leave them to glue together for awhile. Do the same for the 7" ones.

2. Meanwhile, I draw out the shape and size of the cake stands on the wrapping paper and then cut them out.

3. Stick the cut out shapes with white glue onto the cake stands and leave the adhesive to work.

4. Use a small head pin to pin the sides of a ribbon onto the edge of the styrofoam cake round and then wrap it round carefully. Use white glue to add more adhesive. At the end of the ribbon, use another pin to secure it.

See picture below:
5. Using white glue, stick the cupcake stands together with the 14" cake stand at the bottom, then followed by 7" styrofoam cake rounds, 12" cake stand, then 6" styrofoam cake rounds, and finally 8" top cake stand.

Finished product :)
Total cost: $20.20

Scared again

2011-10-06T11:34:00.002+08:00

This is pretty scary AGAIN...

Throughout the night, baby was moving around, stretching and jabbing and kicking me really hard. It felt as if he's not feeling comfy inside and is protesting! I talked to baby, trying to ask him to calm down and asked him to sleep well. But he still kicked hard. I felt sharp pain at the vagina area, perhaps due to his kicking or perhaps due to the cervix dilating as what my Mayo Clinic Preg book described. I also felt pressure at the rectum as he's dropping low now and when he stretched, he'll put pressure there. Advice from some of my mummies frens is that one symptom of labour is feeling pressure at rectum, urging us to push. I keep tossing and turning, going to washroom coz he's hitting my bladder too, and trying to feel if there's any gush of liquid indicating water bag burst. None of those happened. But I developed a headache which I experienced mildly for the past 2 days. Maybe I worry too much. I imagined the childbirth process and was so frightened by it. Then suddenly realized my breathing was too fast and hard, and I consciously tried to calm down by regulating my breathing.

I read online that during the last few weeks or days of preg, mummies will tend to move bowels more often. This is a way for our body to cleanse itself in preparation for labour. No wonder! I have been moving my bowels like at least 2 times and at most 3 times a day! I'm now 38 weeks and 2 days into pregnancy. Before that, during 2nd trimester, my bowels were affected so that I only go like once in about 2/3 days. Its due to slowing down of digestion for better absorption of nutrients during pregnancy.

Today, I could only sleep at 4+am. Hubby woke me up this morning when he wake up for work. I told him about last night and that today, I really couldn't wake up to accompany him for breakfast. Later, he came to talk to me before he leave for work and told me that Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple, had passed away. I hope Steve Jobs can find eternal peace wherever he is now. He is one great creative genius and he had created beautiful things for our world. I hope he goes to Heaven.

Today, I'm seeing Dr Ho again at 3.45pm and I'm glad Hubby is coming along. I told him this may be the last time that he can come along for check up. Baby may come anytime now. So he decided to leave office early and go with me. Its also good that he check out the new Registration Counter and Business Office because Mount Alvernia is currently under renovation and these places were shifted to temporary venues. I have yet to visit the Chapel yet which is temporarily relocated to level 5. I must remember to hand in the pre-registration form today... I wonder whether Dr Ho will check for dilation today... I hope not coz I read in forum that it could be painful and cause minor bleeding.

I can feel baby's coming anytime now and I hope he come quickly coz daddy and mummy are getting impatient! :D

Decreased movement

2011-10-05T00:51:00.003+08:00

This is pretty scary... I got a real scare from baby on Monday morning. Every morning, by 10am he would have given me 10 kicks or movements but on Monday, no matter how I move, lie down, turn left or right side, shake my tummy, he refused to move. I was using computer early in the morning after accompanying hubby for breakfast and our usual morning chat. Hubby left for work and I was so busy at the computer that I didn't note baby's movement. We are supposed to take note of baby's movement since we wake up and he should complete 10 kicks a day. So I got a bit worried, stopped using the computer, and lied down on one side. Usually when I lie on one side, baby felt uncomfortable, felt pressure on that side and will start turning around or kicking to protest. But this time, it's all quiet. Then I stood up, walk around, went toilet, shook my tummy, bounce my tummy, drank water, still no movements...

I remembered that on Sat, I saw greenish vagina discharge, put these 2 incidences together and got more n more worried, so I called clinic. The nurse advised me to go down.

Gynae did heart beat test, scan and vagina infection test for me. He said we have natural bacteria in vagina. As long as there's no inflammation and/or pain, it's ok. The test today showed no infection. Phew!

He said fetal heartbeat looks normal but he has patients whom even though normal, experienced lesser fetal movement n baby heartbeat suddenly stopped. So he told me to do heartbeat test again tml morning. I was so scared n worried when he told me that. He said if I felt lesser movement tonight, I must admit myself immediately, don't wait until tomorrow. If not, we'll monitor tomorrow. And coz my baby is considered smaller at 2.6kg, he's not sure whether he's a healthy smaller baby or smaller coz there's prob so it's better to deliver baby early if we suspect any prob.

On Tues morning, as scheduled I went to see Dr Ho again but this time with a lighter heart because last night baby kicked me a lot and with big movements! I'm so happy to be kicked! Lol. On Tues morning, he's also moving a lot and I counted 10 movements by 10am.

Dr Ho did a heartbeat test and said it's normal. He explained we cannot rely solely on the heartbeat test because accuracy is 1/400. I may be among the few, and with his experience, he has seen several cases where baby heartbeat suddenly stopped at late stage of preg. He cannot pinpoint a reason and he has to deliver the baby but with really sad news. He told me he once had a patient who did not feel fetal movements for many days and stayed for many days in KKH to test fetal heartbeat. For many days, everything is normal but one day, baby's heartbeat just stopped! They did emergency caesarean but could not save baby. His opinion is, dun just rely on tests, monitor baby's movements, report abnormalities immediately and deliver baby early if need be!

Today he also reminded me to watch out for signs of labour because now I'm approaching EDD, it could be anytime. Oh, I'm so excited and nervous to think of the delivery date!!! It's all happening soon!!! I'm wondering how my labour would start? Would it be water bag burst, regular contractions or bloody show followed by the earlier 2 symptoms or... maybe he just won't come and I need to be induced? Hmm... we'll know in time!

Belly dropped lower

2011-10-03T09:02:00.005+08:00

Belly dropped even lower this week. Every night, hubby helped me to do Butterfly stretch. When I sat on the floor (on a pillow), with my legs stretched to the Butterfly stretch post, I realized that my belly were touching my thighs already! Previously it was pretty high up and last week, it never touched my thighs when I do the stretch even though it dropped lower.

No wonder I had to go to the toilet 4 times last night! And some were pretty urgent.

Today, I keep feeling like going toilet even though I went just few minutes ago.

And maybe perhaps I've been switching on the air-con every night recently, my belly got more itchy than it was previously and I unconsciously scratched it too much. Lucky hubby woke me up and reminded me not to do that. I put on more moisturizer. But nowadays, my body temperature rises to really high level and I felt heated up easily so I desperately need the air-con more than anything else.

Last night, as I lie awake on my bed, I imagined myself in the delivery ward, trying to push baby out, imagined the horror of the cervix stretching and baby's head emerging... I imagined holding a soft and small little baby in my arms... Finally the day that all these will happen is arriving and yet I suddenly feel lost. I am supposed to do all these that I heard from people and watched in dramas? It's unbelievable. I read somewhere that God actually made childbirth painless until human committed some sin and we had to undergo painful childbirth. I think the same goes to the menstrual cramp I had, and the only benefit of pregnancy for my body is the absence of that cramp for 10 months. haha... but I guess gradually, we are used to the pain anyway. I envy those who had no menstrual cramp and little pain during childbirth. I wish I am the lucky few! I heard people say the uterus contraction which feels like menstrual cramp will hurt really badly after childbirth... what people call "afterpains". Sigh, pay back time for missing the 10 months of period. I really need the pain relief...

Baby Kieran Sia Yun Xuan

2011-09-30T10:29:00.002+08:00

Finally, we've thought of a name for baby! His name will be Kieran Sia Yun Xuan 謝允軒.

Water retention came at early third trimester, I guess its some time in mid 7th month of preg. Comparing myself then and...

... now.
You can see my face has gotten rounder. What's worse is that my feet were swollen so much that my comfy Choc shoes feel a bit tight, and my swollen hands ache when I wake up in the morning. Fortunately, some friends recommend taking red bean soup or black bean soup to ease the water retention. It really works! My friends commented that my face isn't as swollen as before and my hands dun ache so much anymore :)

Oh if you are a vegetarian mummy like me and you can't take DHA from fish oil. I recommend this supplement:
Salesgirl at Guardian introduce this to me when I tried to buy Vitahealth Flaxseed Oil which I used to take but they no longer carry Vitahealth. This one is Nature's Essentials flaxseed oil in vegi-softgels and suitable for Vegans.

I've also bought a block of baby soap made from Lemongrass, Olive oil and other natural ingredients without preservatives added. Bought from an organics shop in Hougang. I forgot the name of the shop. The soap brand is Yuan, made in Taiwan. I thought it'll be good to give my baby paraben free soap to use. These preservatives may not be clinically harmful to our body now but who knows about years later? I left the soap at my parents-in-law's place where I'll be doing confinement so no pictures, so sorry. I'm so not looking forward to confinement :( but of course I'm looking forward to baby's arrival! Can't wait for him to arrive! 3 more weeks (or less) to go! I'm seeing gynae every week now.

Sharing another picture:

We took this at Istana when it was open for public during Hari Raya. Security was tight but the guards were nice. Pregnant ladies need not pass through the electronic scan. They got a lady guard to physically check me. Nothing much to check though. I wearing tight fitting clothes, don't look like I could hide any weapons inside and I only carry a small bag. Of course my hubby carried a lot more stuff haha, mainly his DSLR. On first impression, Istana was beautiful, filled with lush greenery and I love the graceful white swans at the pond. After walking through the place, I think it's more like a huge golf course, and I don't think the land is used very often. The Jap and Chinese gardens are crap... They only one small tiny area each growing supposedly Chinese or Jap looking plants and have slightly Chinese or Jap looking structures but if they never listed them as "gardens", I'll think its just a small patch of land/pond. Never get to see the former President Nathan though.

Love of a leopard

2011-09-28T20:56:00.003+08:00

Watched Nat Geo Wild's BIg Cat Odessey. Touched by a part of the film where the researchers observe a young leopard killed a baboon and dragged it up to the trees. At the foot of the tree, something dropped out when he was dragging the baboon - a tiny one day old baboon baby.

The researchers expected the hungry leopard to eat the baby but to their surprise, it didn't and even protected it, taking it to higher grounds when another smaller predator tried to get close. It nursed the baby roughly but tenderly. It had a very motherly feel even though it was not a mother itself yet. It used it's nose to touch the baby baboon, stay close to keep it warm and protected. Even though the baby will eventually die without it's mother's milk and care, the love of the leopard towards it's natural prey seem to be a love on a higher level than the love it will show towards it's own young.

Big Cats in Africa are under danger of extinction. This is due to human's fear of them and thus the mass persecution, and the killing of these cats for their skin to show off power and beauty. From 50k, the population dropped to 20k. The lesser number of hunters made it difficult for them to hunt preys like buffalos and elephants. Strangely, this leads to competition and killings within a pride of lions. Sisters lionesses are killing each other's cubs and this pride lost 96 cubs since records due to this killings. The pride was destroyed, the lions no longer the strong hunters as they were before. Lioness eat their own cubs after they were killed. A natural instinct to survive, I guess. A very cruel truth for the mother lioness.

It is tough to be a predator in the wilderness. You've got to work hard to earn your meal, and each hunt is difficult. You've only got your body to work for you and each hunt is putting your life at risk. My heart goes out to the predators as much as to the preys. Nobody wants to be cruel, only for survival.

Insomnia

2011-09-27T23:36:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day of 36th week. Last 2 nights were horrible. On Monday 3am to 5am, I had Braxton hicks contraction that lasted 1min+ each and with varying intervals. The intervals could be from 3min to 11min apart. So I couldn't sleep the whole night. Woke up intermittently to drag myself to the bathroom too. What's worse, from Monday night to Tuesday morning, I had insomnia, partly caused by me sleeping too much on Monday due to the tiring contractions the night before, and partly due to baby kicking, poking and jabbing me strongly the whole night. I guess my sleeping position disturbed him a lot. When I thought of lying down, I had phobia, really. Lying down caused a lot of aches to my back and sides. Before my belly becomes this heavy and big, I am ok with just putting a pillow behind me or lying on my side hugging a bolster. But now, its really difficult. I did all these but the aches just stay there.

I'm going to do some pelvic exercise before I sleep tonight and I'm going to try putting something at the arch of my back to prevent my spine from being stressed too much by the weight. Grrr this aching and sleeplessness really made me wish baby can quickly come. I cannot tahan 1 month of horrendous aches and insomnia anymore!

One good news though is that my new flat at Punggol Spring is nearly completed for moving in. Renovation finally completed last week. Made the final payment. I love our neat kitchen, our cozy little corner at the full length windows which overlook the Water Way and the baby room which will be done up nicely soon before we move in with our darling baby. Just now we went IKEA to get some furniture. We were rudely shocked with the delivery policy of IKEA which was not mentioned when we checked the website or when we asked the customer service officer before making payment. We were given 3 days of delivery to choose from, and after which we must pay $5 per day of extension! What's worse is their delivery timings are only from 10am to 2pm, and they couldn't specify exactly a range of time that they usually deliver to Punggol area. I have to stay at home and wait from 10am to 2pm on a weekday?! That's ridiculous! Grrr... I'm thinking of writing a complain letter to IKEA. They should improve their inflexible delivery service. It doesn't come cheap too! $55 for delivery above $300 of purchases and 6% of item price for assembly. Seriously...

Time to go back to bed again. I hope my back won't suffer too much tonight.

36 weeks and 4 days

2011-09-25T00:47:00.003+08:00

Oh gosh! Baby is now hiccuping very violently inside me! I never like the feeling of baby hiccuping but at least it means our dear little one is learning to breath :)

Today is baby's 36 and 4th day since his conception. He is strong and tossing and turning, and kicking as he stretches inside me. I hope he remains so strong and not weaken in his movement like some babies do towards the end of preg when they get less space in the womb.

I just drank coconut juice bought from NTUC and had red and black bean soup on alternate days this week. The young coconut is supposed to help baby appear nicer with less blood streaks on his skin when he is born. The red bean soup and black bean soup helps in easing the water retention. I do feel that it's taking effect. My hands dun seem so swollen now.

Recently, I felt less breathless, and when I asked hubby, he said my tummy looks like it's lower. I guess baby has lightened! Unfortunately, I feel the urge to pee more often. Just now, I had to go to the washroom just 10 min after peeing, and I went about 4 times in an hour. In the middle night, I usually have to wake up 2-3 times to go washroom.

But I'm always always thirsty. If the craving for second trimester is food, the craving for late third trimester is liquid! I keep having to drink a lot. I hope that means I'm producing milk! My breasts feels tender, full and there's occasional tingling sensation at the nipples. These are exactly what the breastfeeding book describes. I'm glad I'm on track but some mothers are able to see colostrum (early milk) at this stage... I'm still not able to. I guess for first time moms, it's not easy for milk to come so easily. Some took 4 days after childbirth to produce milk. Lucky baby has fat reserves for 3 days after birth. I hope nobody will coerce me to feet infant formula, stating "not enough milk" as a reason! It's ridiculous how generations of infant formula marketing has successfully conned poor mothers into believing their own milk is inferior to something from animals and artificially produced from the lab. Do you know babies cannot take cow's milk and the scientists had to remove the fats and add in animal fats as replacement as this is easier for babies' digestion? Seriously, isn't it more intuitive and convenient to feed babies mothers' milk right from the breast? Not to mention the expensive infant formulas that we'll otherwise need to spend on. No animal in the animal kingdom is as troublesome as humans. Animal mothers take it as a natural instinct to breastfeed their babies. Only human beings need to go through buying the powdered milk, sterilizing the bottle, pouring warm water, cooling it, testing temperature, feeding baby with bottle, burbing baby coz when you use bottle, you introduce a lot of air (you do not need to burb a breastfeed baby because there is complete suction and thus no air introduced to baby), then putting baby to sleep and washing and sterilizing the bottle again. All these steps when actually all a mother need to do is to put baby to your breast and allow both to enjoy the unique bonding time.

I'm very thankful to my loving and supportive hubby. I am so touched when he searched YouTube for nappy folding techniques so he can help baby change nappy, accompanied me for every childbirth education course even though he needs to sacrifice work time and needs to work longer hours and put in extra effort on the following days, and read the Breastfeeding book we bought from Mt Alvernia by Sister Kang, so that he will understand more about breastfeeding and help me along when I need help.

Love hubby lots! Baby and I are fortunate :) No luxuries and material things in this world can be substitute for this love.

Although I still hope very much that we can get a car soon to help ferry baby around... I cannot imagine having to open and close baby pram while holding baby and carrying diaper bag when we go up and down a public transport. I really would just choose to stay home with baby. Unless baby needs to go out for vaccination which I guess we don't have a choice. Even now when I'm heavily pregnant, getting around without a car isn't easy. You don't always get nice ppl who give up seats and generally, the fast pace crowd at transport stations are a danger. Some people walk like zombies and some kids run around like the place is a park. Life sucks when you dun have a car. Sigh...

What to pack for hospital stay

2011-09-19T23:26:00.002+08:00

These days, I'm finalizing the things to bring to hospital. I've written this list sometime ago and now, its time to put it into action and pack those stuff into my bag.

Nursing bras 3

Disposable breast pads 1 box

breast pump (may need to stimulate milk production) 1

disposable maternity panties 6

pajamas suitable for breastfeeding (open button) 4

going home wear 1

sweater 1

socks 2 pairs

sanitary pads (Pureen Madame maternity pads) 1 pack

slippers 1 pair

comb 1

hairband 1

towel

toothbrush

toothpaste

Anti rashes body wash (I have rashes and this is recommended by the doctor. Bringing it just in case I got rashes outbreak again. *Touchwood!*)

Shampoo (small bottle. Yes, I am not going to observe total confinement rules. I am going to wash my hair.)

Baby swaddle

1 set of baby clothes, mittens and booties

2 more sets of mittens and booties in case baby needs to stay in hospital for jaundice treatment

digital camera

documents for Medisave claim, birth cert registration and baby bonus application (to put in one folder and hubby to take note)

Gynae's letter

Hospital admission form

NRIC of husband and wife

Receipts of outpatient visits to gynae (to claim Medisave)

Original marriage certificate to register baby's name

Bankbook for baby bonus

$18 charged by ICA

$14 charged by hospital admin fee

For baby bonus, I think we will choose OCBC.

As for stem cells storage, I'm already in my 36th week of pregnancy but we really haven't decide whether to go for stem cells storage. I think I'll give the stem cord sales person a call and do the necessary stuff.

I'm so looking forward to baby's arrival! I've bought a Pearhead baby prints set from Mums and Babes which I can print baby's footprint and handprint on birth announcement cards. I also cut colored papers to fit the size of white square frames that I bought from IKEA some time ago so that I can print baby's hand and foot print and frame them up. I bought a scrapbook folder but no paper and designs yet coz I really don't want to spend money on those scrapbook items yet. So costly! Also got ready a log book to record baby's feeding time, pooing time and sleeping time.

Thinking about my newborn makes me so happy. I wish to see him in person real soon. He's an active little babe, tossing and turning and kicking me so frequently and sometimes so hard! I wish he look like his daddy coz my hubby has sharp features. Sharp nose, big eyes, curled eyelashes, dark skin and tall height is perfect for a boy.

I'm excited about his arrival and yet I am extremely afraid of the labour, especially now when I'm nearing the EDD. 36 weeks now... only 4 more weeks to go. Oh gosh... I'm feeling nervous just thinking about it... It doesn't help that one friend told me she had to deliver her son early (35weeks +) because she suddenly feel very frequent contractions and she had some spotting, and another friend when through long hours of labour, only to be told later that she must undergo Cesarean because baby's head cannot pass through her pelvis. And of course the pain of epidural injection, pain of labour contractions, afterpains, and episiotomy wound pain all make me worry and frightened. Oh gosh... there's so much to go through just to give birth. I've carried this baby inside me for nearly 9 months, and had to be so careful and make some sacrifices to ensure he is safe and well. I definitely hope the last lap will be a safe and smooth one.

6 weeks more to go!

2011-09-09T21:04:00.002+08:00

I'm in my 34th week of pregnancy. Which means there's only 6 weeks more to go! Exciting! I'm looking forward to baby's arrival but I'm totally not looking forward to confinement. It's 1 month of pure torture to me. I'm sweating like crazy even in an aircon room now. I cannot imagine no fan and no bathing for 1 month. Whoever came up with such torturous tradition?! I'm not going to follow all the rules. It's crazy because we are staying in hot and humid Singapore. In the olden days, temperature in Singapore is much cooler, so it makes more sense to follow the rules. Not now when everyday is so hot. My mom said after she finished her confinement, she remembered it's Christmas Day and temperature is 20 deg celcius!!! Unless it's some kind of freak day, temp in Singapore will never drop to 20 deg celcius!

What have you, self centered ancestors done to our poor Earth since the industrial revolution? What have you done to make your pitiful descendants suffer so much? The unbearable heat and the pollution and all the cancer causing agents you released into our once clean atmosphere, just for your personal short term gain and comfort. I wish humankind had not been so greedy and had been a little bit more far-sighted and wiser.

I'm looking forward to taking bb home to Punggol new flat and spending time with him. There, where hubby and I spent so much time discussing, planning and decorating. Bringing baby home is the happiest. Of course I worry abt depression and housework when we go back because then, nobody will be there to help us but I think it's better than to stay at mother in law's place where I'll be doing confinement. I hate TV noises for one thing. They like to watch TV but at home, my TV was never on if I'm home. The radio and TV noises stresses me. I prefer quietness. Reading, surfing the net and other quiet activities made me happy. That's why I packed a pair of earplugs to go for my hospital stay and confinement.

I'll try out to see how this confinement goes. If it's really very stressful and there are a lot of conflicts and I got into depression or some unpleasant emotional moments, I'll not attempt confinement anymore for second baby. It's not worth it.

I find it sad too that there's social pressure for me to start work soon after baby's birth. I hope I don't have to do that. I want to spend as much time as possible with my baby, even until he's into his toddler years. Why can't you all let mothers just be mothers? Besides I'm not a person made to enjoy the stability of a 9 to 5 office job. I agree it's much better for family life but I really will get so jaded after a while of these stagnancy. I need excitement, adventures and something to stimulate my creativity every now and then. I remembered there were times I was so bored and frustrated that I plan holidays, and took up violin lessons, and thought of changing job. Everyone has a niche in this mosaic of our society and I really wish to be a creative arts industry. This has always been discouraged because I've potential to go university, I won't earn much if I study art, I'll become weird if I study too much art... All my parents' reasons. At this point, I do have a chance to right what was wrong with a tight budget of course, but it really depends on whether I can once again, take the society's demeaning glare, the disapproval of elders and the risks involved. What is a life really, if there are no dreams left to pursue and no challenges to overcome. If I just succumb to pressure now, there might never be another chance, and perhaps I will die with regrets and the message I will leave to my younger generations is that the world is a cruel and bitter place, and ambitions and dreams that do not fit into the social norms will not be encouraged. No, I do not want that to happen. I still, would like to embrace life and grow and learn, and lead my life the fulfilling way it was meant to be. I feel sorry for my parents, my husband and my future children that I am not the money-spinning career woman kind who would have benefitted them much more. But I have to make a choice to make them contented or to be true to myself. I think they would want the best for me, no matter how they dislike it. I'm sorry for being this defiant.

Today's post is more emotional than I wish it to be. I'll write about my hospital bag packing list and other baby stuff in my next post.

So long...

Updates and some thoughts

2011-08-18T23:15:00.003+08:00

Just realized the stupid supposed to be cheaper AMK shop cheat my money. The pillow cost only $4.90 at NTUC, they charge $10.90! Grrr I'm seriously not going back there anymore.

Btw, add in baby thermometer to the to buy list.

Having a baby is so expensive! Haiz. I'm glad hubby forces us both to save up more since we decided to settle down. I'm happy that from wedding to buying first flat to baby, we use our own money and never had to borrow from anyone.

I remembered only drawing $80 from the bank last week and now, I have $0 in my wallet again. Groan... I really must save up much more and stop indulging in more expensive food and transport. But haiz, the hot weather really tempts me to take a cab instead of waiting for the bus and train.

Childbirth education at Mt Alvernia

Today, I went for the physiotherapy course at Mt Alvernia. It is part of the childbirth education workshop we signed up for. Today's lesson is great. The friendly physiotherapist taught us about positions and breathing techniques we should adopt during different stages of labour. I asked her about the pain where my uterus hit the ribs. She said it should not be due to the stomach muscles straining. It should be due to baby/uterus pressing on my ribs. I guess she's right because when I lie down or stretch that area, the pain lessens. When I lie on my left because I heard that lying on left is better for baby, the area hurts because its the left side that hurts. When I lie on my right, the pain goes away. So it must be the uterus pressure relieved from the ribs when I lie on my right. I asked her for any exercise to help. She said I just have to wait until the pressure is gone which means when baby is no longer applying pressure on the area. I guess when lightening (baby dropping lower down into the pelvic area) occurs, the area will be more relieved of pressure and of course pain. I will also do more stretching that the yoga teacher teaches. Helps in alleviating the pain too.

Myths about breastfeeding

I realized many people have lots of things to say about breastfeeding which may not be the best for mummy and baby. Mother in law's friend told her that I should start to massage and press on my nipples now until liquid appears at the milk duct holes on the aerola so as to prepare the breasts for breast-feeding later on. On the contrary, if I stimulate my breasts, it will cause contractions and subsequently, premature birth of baby. I have to clarify this to MIL!

The friend also told her that its good to feed baby with formula milk at night so that mummy can rest and not have to wake up to breastfeed. I firmly told MIL that I won't! Lucky I have a very understanding MIL who doesn't only listen to what her friend(s) advises. I told her I don't mind waking up every 2-3 hours to breastfeed as long as this ensures my baby gets total breast milk. Formula milk can never replace breast milk. I explained to her that if I supplement with formula milk, my milk supply will decrease, I may get engorgement if milk is not expressed and baby will be very full on formula milk to ask for more breast milk. Ultimately, my breastmilk production will decrease and there will be no more for baby. Personally, I will kill anyone who suggest I supplement or replace with formula milk. I hope the nurse at Mt Alvernia will understand and bring baby to me for breastfeeding right after delivery and cleaning up. I heard that if baby is breastfed within 24hrs, he tends to remember the sucking action better and will latch on better.

MIL say baby needs water. But a baby on total breastfeed does not need water. Oh well, I told her a little bit is ok but when I bring baby home, I won't feed him any water. Feeding water to baby will cause him to feel artificially full and he won't be sucking breast milk and thus, won't get enough nutrients. I hope she won't keep thinking of giving baby water every time she feels he needs to. Baby's stomach is different from adult's. We are thirsty and requires water often doesn't mean baby needs water too.

I forgot to tell MIL that I intend to not breastfeed on schedule but on demand. That's why hubby and I bought a baby cot cum play pen for him to sleep in so that I can feed him while resting in the day or at night, whenever he wants to. Its too tiring to get out of bed and stoop down to hold baby up and breastfeed if he sleeps on mattress on the floor.

Yao lan causes brain damage?

MIL and my mom also heard from friends and TV programmes that if baby sleep in Yao Lan, baby will get brain damage. I would like to say that I won't rock baby like he's in a roller coaster, and I won't be letting him sleep in Yao Lan all night. Baby will ultimately still be sleeping on mattress. The Yao Lan is only for afternoon naps, or drinking milk/water from bottles when he is much older. So he won't get excessive rocking and he won't be brain damaged. Seriously, all 3 of us, my sisters and I slept in Yao Lan and we are all graduates. What brain damage?! I do agree that we cannot let baby sleep in Yao lan and rock him all night with the motor rocker. But I dun think people do that really. My parents never do that. Yao lan is only for day time naps. The cot, also, will only be a temporary measure because baby outgrows cot very fast. Its only for my convenience when I do breastfeeding for first 6 months. When baby is 6 months old, he can learn to eat solids already and dun have to breastfeed so often in the middle of the night.

Worries and fears

I really hope I can be a good mother to my baby. I am such an opinionated person... the inconvenience of confinement also will make me quick tempered... I'm the kind who will snap at people if I feel hot and sticky. So, I hope no unhappiness with happen during my confinement, especially since I'm doing confinement at parents in law's house. Sigh. Not the perfect option for me. I wish I dun have to do confinement because I like to be in control and during confinement, everyone will insists I rest and that means I can't be in control. Grrr... ok, I need to learn to relax... I dun think I'll ever leave my baby's side! Can't imagine I'm expected to rest at another room while MIL sleep with baby at another room. True that confinement is a time for mothers to rest after delivery but I think I'll hope it will end soon and I can bring baby home, and be in control of everything all over again. I seriously think I am at risk of post-natal blues or anxiety or something like that.

P/S: Two incidences that proves pregnant women's brain turn to jelly during pregnancy:

1. I forgot to take money from ATM after withdrawing. Lucky I remembered to take my card.

2. I was typing this post and when I wanted to type "course" I typed "cause", thought it was wrong spelling, deleted and suddenly forgot how to spell "course" until much later... -.-"

Baby items shopping again!

2011-08-15T23:19:00.003+08:00

Seen Dr Ho for the usual check up and scanning today. I'm happy baby is now at normal weight of 1.6kg and growing healthily. Dr Ho said everything is normal and going well... that is the best reassurance a mother needs! I have, however gained 3kg in 3 weeks! LOL. The nurse said that's a bit too much. Oh well, I have a bit of water retention and my breasts and tummy have grown so much bigger compared to 3 weeks ago. I guess the weight increment is reasonable. I'll take care not to eat too much fried and oily food from now on.

After the check up, I went baby items shopping again. This activity is what always keeps me happy. Buying things for Baby Yun Xuan is most enjoyable, even though today, the bill comes up to $150+... Nvm, these are essential items and I've gone to a shop selling baby items cheaply.

I took a shuttle bus from Mt Alvernia to Bishan and then train ride to Ang Mo Kio because I want to go to the cheap baby items stall opposite Ang Mo Kio Polyclinic.

Completed most of the list of items that I said I wanted to buy in my last post:

4 sets of mitten and booties ($9.90 for 4 at AMK shop)
hard mattress (dad recommends seahorse brand) parents will buy
mattress cover
baby cot for him to sleep beside us in our new flat ($50 second hand) will collect tomorrow
- baby will sleep on mattress at grandparents' home
pillow and bolster (about $10.90 to $11.90 each)
pillow and bolster covers (forgot to buy)
beansprout billow (dad making for me!)
cotton balls and cotton buds (bought very cheaply at Chinatown, People's Park Market where a stall sells cheap household products)
nappy fasteners ($2.90 at AMK shop, actually should have bought at NTUC. Cost only $2.60. Tollyjoy brand)
nappy hooks (decided not to buy)
baby shampoo (J&J Top to Toe, bought very cheaply at Chinatown, People's Park Market)
baby bath
baby lotion (MIL say no need...)
nappy cloth ($25+ for 1 dozen at AMK shop)
wash cloth ($3.90 for 6 at AMK shop)
towels (MIL will buy)
brushes to clean milk bottles (bought at NTUC)
baby nail clipper ($5.90 at AMK shop)

I also bought Tollyjoy washable and reusable breast pads, a couple of baby caps, pampers for newborn just in case we need ($25+ at NTUC), and nappy liners ($6.90 at the AMK shop).

More items to buy:

pillow and bolster covers coz I forgot to buy them today

nappy rash cream

Ru yi oil

hard mattress and mattress covers

towels

Cot mattress set (can buy at later date)

Had a happy time shopping!

These days, however, back pain, muscle aches and swollen hands and feet are causing me some discomfort. I couldn't bend down as easily as I could before. I do Prenatal Yoga at COMO Shamhala and the Yoga teacher Sarah advised us to squat for 10min a day. I tried that today. Supposed to help strenghten the pelvic muscles. If I sleep too long lying flat on my back, I will get a nasty backache in the morning, so heeding the advice of the physiotherapist at Mount Alvernia childbirth class, I slept with a bolster propped up against my back, preventing myself from lying flat down, and with a pillow between my legs so that there isn't too much hip rotation when I lie on my side. If I dun put the bolster behind me, I'll most likely turn to sleep on my back unconsciously and get the nasty ache again.

The left stomach muscle right where my growing uterus meet the upper part of my ribs hurts ever so often. Usually, it hurts when I spend a considerable amount of time sitting, standing or walking. So after some activity, I'll take a break lying on my bed, propped with a bolster until the ache goes away. I'm not very sure what caused it or how to alleviate it. Perhaps I can talk to the physiotherapist this Thursday. I'm so very glad that I am not working now. Otherwise, the pain is going to be double. In addition, I'm waking up at least 3 times in the night to pee. Sleep disturbances. Luckily, so far, I dun really have insomnia. Perhaps coz there's no work stressors, so not much worries except a few of those hormonal-changes related emo-ing.

Oh yes, the water retention is not very obvious but I feel my shoes getting tighter, my feet and hands look "puffier" and my wedding ring was strangling my ring finger to death. So I removed my wedding ring with soap and water and I'm wearing it around my neck with a necklace.

Alright, going back to bed, to ease the pain in the stomach muscle... and to hug my hubby and adorable toy monkeys to sleep.

Shopping list

2011-08-11T14:13:00.000+08:00

I'm in my 30th week of pregnancy. Another 10 weeks more to baby's arrival! Can you imagine the excitement?! haha. Hubby and I are so excited and looking forward to his arrival!

I need to complete my shopping list before baby arrives:
4 sets of mitten and booties
hard mattress (dad recommends seahorse brand)
mattress cover
baby cot for him to sleep beside us in our new flat ($50 second hand)
- baby will sleep on mattress at grandparents' home
pillow and bolster
pillow and bolster covers
beansprout billow (dad making for me!)
cotton balls
cotton buds $4+ at kiddy palace
nappy fasteners
nappy hooks
baby shampoo
baby bath
baby lotion
nappy cloth (check with MIL whether she's buying)
wash cloth
towels
brushes to clean milk bottles
baby nail clipper

72 days more to baby's arrival!

2011-08-08T08:59:00.003+08:00

Its 72 days more (18 weeks) to baby's arrival!

I'm going to visit curtain shops and door shops later with hubby to choose designs for our new home. Then, hubby will be going to his good friend's ROM wedding where he has the honor to be the witness. And then, I'll meet him to go to Takashimaya baby fair.

Yesterday, we brought all the things we bought to my parents-in-law's place because I'll be doing my confinement there. Mother-in-law doing confinement for me. My dad and mom went along as dad helped me drive the heavy stuff there including the Yao lan with the huge heavy base.

It was nice that all the elders, my parents, parents-in-law, and aunty (father-in-law's younger sister) are discussing happily about baby. Baby Yun Xuan is so blessed! He's the eldest grandson for both families so he got everyone excited about his arrival! :)

I saw a chinese book about food for confinement at their house, and felt very touched. Mother-in-law is putting in a lot of heart and effort into the confinement. The only thing I dislike is that doing confinement there means I must follow all the strict rules of no showering, no air-con, no fan (hopefully, she dun make me close the window too!), and no cold drinks. But I guess I can secretly do "illegal"things. I plan to take a warm shower before I leave hospital, and I think I will secretly sip a few sips of cold water, and shower a few times when one else is around. I really cannot stand not showering. If I feel sweaty and dirty, I'll be in a terrible mood. But I do plan to relax and not trouble too much about taking care of baby. Maybe I'll stand by as Mother-in-law teach me how to bath him, change his diaper and just breastfeed him as and when he ask for it. After the first month, and we take baby home to our new flat at Punggol, it'll be a real test of how I can handle baby alone. I'm sure our mothers will be more than happy to help out but after all, I still have to do many things alone, and being able to succeed in them proves that I'm a good mummy, so understanding my own character, I'll probably stress myself to the max first before I ask mummy for help.

I'm so excited and yet so afraid of holding baby Yun Xuan in my arms! As a single lady, one of my worst fears is to hold a newborn because they are so delicate and their necks are so soft. What if I didn't hold them properly and let their neck drop uncomfortably? What if I accidentally drop them? Eeeks! Couldn't think of the consequences. I refused to hold any of my friend's newborns or recent borns... I can't imagine that now I'll be holding my own newborn baby soon. He'll be so precious and so fragile! God bless my little baby boy :)

We hope to sleep with baby Yun Xuan in our room beside the bed coz I need to breastfeed baby frequently even during the night for the first few months and it is more convenient to do it in our room, and hubby also wants baby to stay close to us. But dun want baby to sleep in yao lan overnight, and we dun want to buy crib coz its bulky and baby outgrow crib fast. We wanted to buy co-sleeper but couldn't find a seller for second hand online... During confinement, baby will sleep on a mattress on a floor. But when we bring baby home, we put baby on mattress on the floor beside our bed? Then when I pick baby up, its going to be difficult having to bend down and squat down every 2-3hrs, no? Still unsure... maybe we should buy a cheap crip after all...

I am initially intrigued by Moses baskets! But considering that baby outgrows it after 1 year, I think better not. Moses baskets look so holy... like the prince or princess in fairytales sleeping soundly in it as fairy godmothers flew in to bless him/her with their sparkling wands. But crib can be used up to 3 years old. Moreover mothercare Moses basket cost $99, and IKEA cot also costs $99... haha. hmm...

Busy preparing for baby's arrival

2011-08-03T08:41:00.006+08:00

Baby is in his 29th week now! First day of his 29th week today :)

Since last week, he has been giving me stronger kicks and I can feel him turning around in my tummy. Its a unique sensation that only mummies can experience! Hubby enjoys speaking to baby and poking him when he pokes back. I wonder whether he knows someone is trying to communicate to him from outside his "world". haha.

We bought a headphone and we put the headphone on my tummy to let baby listen to whatever we want him to listen to.

In preparation for his arrival, and also because I recently feel like doing shopping for baby, I went shopping around Orchard after my prenatal yoga class and also went to the recent Taka baby fair. Bought some stuff there including a very cute romper that I intend to dress him up in during his full month anniversary. I am now left with matching cap and socks/shoes to buy. Perhaps a matching bib too? I also bought a swaddle (thought it'll be interesting to try with a modern ready made swaddle instead of the traditional cloth one with hood) and some newborn clothes for 3 for $10 coz the dino printings on it are so cute.

Shopping for second hand stuff in Mummysg forum and Motherhood forum gives me such a sense of satisfaction! Some of the baby stuff can only be used for 3-6 months, some only a few times, so it makes sense to either get it passed down from relatives and friends or to buy them second hand. So far what have I got...

Pigeon steam steriliser - $20, original price $120++

Baby bottle and food warmer - FREE given by kind neighbor at Punggol

Toy mega blocks - FREE given by kind neighbor at Punggol

Toy wooden activity block for use from 1 year up - $15, original price unsure but should be much more expensive

Yao lan with motor - $80, original $200++

Bumbo seat - $20, original $50/$60+

Playmat - $20, original unsure maybe between $50-$100+

Ergo Performance baby carrier with infant insert - $170, new set, original $200++

Baby pram and car seat - FREE, kindly given by hubby's uncle (not collected yet)

Baby hair chair - FREE, kindly given by a friend (not collected yet)

Lots of used newborn and baby clothes from parents' neighbors - FREE

A kind mummy in forum who is giving me her used glass bottles to store frozen breast milk.

Yup, if breast milk are to be stored in freezer, they cannot be stored using the normal breast milk storage. Must be glass bottles. I dunno where to get the caps though. She said I could buy from hospital pharmacy... hmm...

I've already got breast pump, bottles, teats, milk storage cups etc from Philips Avent, thanks to a friend who had a friend working in Philips and could get 30% discount for us.

Initially wanted to get a playpen but the seller sold it already... too late. Its only $50 and it comes with colored balls. What a pity. But hubby said we don't really need playpen... true. We only have 1 baby and 1 baby room, the whole room can be his playpen. Not to mention the new Punggol flat's rooms are so small, its not a problem running to catch baby when he's about to hit a wall or something.

Still need the following stuff:

baby wash cloth (intend to buy cheap ones)

nappy cloths (as mother in law wants to use nappy. Will leave it to her to buy)

Bumwear one size diaper and inserts (Will use when baby is pass her first few months. Intend to visit the shop in United Square to take a look)

Diapers (for emergency and when mummy and everyone else are too tired to keep changing and washing his smelly nappies. Friends recommend Pet pet and Huggies)

Baby wet wipes - Pigeon $19.95 for 3 packs of 82 wipes

Cheap baby rocker, the kind that I grow up sleeping on, those with breathable yao lan netting.

Baby mattress but not sure whether we can just use the adult size one that my parents bought.

baby bibs (when he start solid food? Does baby need bibs when he's only breastfeeding?)

Full month celebration stuff... haven't gone into the details yet...

Clay print for printing his foot. Wanted to get the gold one but hubby says its a waste of money.

Decals for his baby room

Clip on Fan for his baby pram

Some toys to clip on to baby pram

Educational toys

As for myself:

more nursing bras. The weather is unbearably hot lately. Bathe and change clothes lots of times!

A dental visit, before I give birth.

A bigger shawl for breastfeeding... I think I can dig this out somewhere in my drawer.

I guess that's all we really need. Seems like a baby need so much stuff! When I told my mom, she was surprised. She said she didn't really prepare so much when giving birth to us! Haha. I guess babies and young parents nowadays have so much more for convenience's sake but really, what we really really do need is so minimal.

I'll urge all relatives and friends who are attending our baby shower to not buy any soft toys or display items. Storing them will be a headache for us and I dun like clutters so I dun like displaying out everything in display cabinet. I hope our display cabinet can display stuff like pottery, nice art pieces, precious photographs instead of small keepsakes and figurines like in parent in law's home. Looks too cluttered.

Hmm ok, right now, shall go back to doing housework, and rest for awhile before I go out to collect one of the second hand things I purchased :)

Epidural or not? Stay at home or work?

2011-07-19T17:06:00.003+08:00

These are the questions swimming around my head nowadays.

Should I opt for epidural or go for no anesthesia? There are mothers who went for epidural and they had some pain relief but cannot feel the push sensation so its difficult to push baby. Many people told me that they went for epidural because childbirth pain is too unbearable. There are also some mothers who told me that it is actually bearable and alright to go for natural birth without epidural.

I am still unsure.

I envy mothers who get to stay at home and take care of their babies after their babies are born. They can breastfeed the babies and not worry about having to leave for work, and they can stay at home and watch the little bundle of joy grow up and be beside them when they learn to talk, crawl, walk and go to preschool. On the other hand, I must also work to provide for him if I want to let him learn piano or violin, go to good preschool, drive him around in a car, go for holidays, go for holiday classes, etc... Besides its more interesting to work than to stay home all day.

However I'm not sure whether now is the time to give myself a second chance to do something that I like instead of to go back to work in an office and get stable salary and working hours.

Braxton Hicks Contraction

2011-07-11T21:44:00.004+08:00

I had my first Braxton Hicks contraction pains at 6 months into my pregnancy.

According to my research, we are not supposed to experience pain when having this false "practise" labour contractions. Most mothers feel a tightening of the stomach muscle, much like cramp. But contrary to what is written online, some mothers, like me do feel pain when having this false contraction.

Braxton Hicks contractions are called "practise contractions" because the uterus is practising for the real labour. In the third trimester, this can be mistaken as real labour pains. There are guidelines to help us differentiate between real labour pains and Braxton Hicks contraction but unfortunately, kiasi first time mothers like me would most prob just rush to the hospital for whatever pain or indication of labour anytime near the EDD.

The first time I experienced it, I missed lunch as I fell asleep after ironing the clothes, and then I suddenly realised I felt cramps when I eat the first morsel of food about 5 hours apart from breakfast. I thought it was gastric pain but relieve came in a while and after that, I went furniture shopping with my parents. But soon, the pain came again and stronger this time as I walked a lot during the shopping. I was breathing hard and lying down on the back seat of my dad's car. It lasted for about 20min. He almost drove me to the hospital. The cramps decreased with rest.

I didn't realise that was Braxton Hicks until I had it the second time. Over this weekend, Friday and Saturday were hectic days for me. I went to submit forms at Town Council and walked long distances for public transport, went to meet friends, walked long distances too to meet them, meet up with contractor regarding new flat renovation, etc etc... Then while in the MRT with hubby, the cramp came so strong and painful that I broke out in cold sweat and I grabbed his hands for comfort. I realised its almost the same kind of pain and this time, I didn't skip any meal. The pain eased after about 5 min. Thank goodness it disappeared by the time we alighted the MRT.

Research says that we can reduce the incidences of Braxton Hicks by avoiding dehydration, being too active, and keeping a full bladder. Taking warm bath, drinking warm drinks and changing positions can alleviate the contractions. I definitely won't want to feel the pain again soon. I'm taking all kinds of precautions. Mom told me she never had this until late in pregnancy when she's carrying my youngest sis. At that time, she rushed to the hospital because she thought she's about to go into labour.

I did a search online and realised that this pain I experienced was what I had been reading about but had no idea how it really feels like. False labour pain is already so strong, I'm sure the real one is 10 times worse... I'm definitely opting for epidural.

Busy preparation

2011-07-06T14:42:00.003+08:00

Baby is 25 weeks today. 6 months old.
Dr Ho say he is about 683g. I wonder how they calculate with just the ultrasound scan machine alone.
So far I only gain 2kg for the entire 6 months. But lucky baby's weight is normal. That means I've slimmed down a lot.

Today, I don't feel very good at all. Yesterday morning, I'm able to wake up early, prepare breakfast for hubby and walk long distance for my tao huay and da bao vegetarian bee hoon for lunch.

But today, I could only lie on bed and feel really groggy. Couldn't prepare breakfast. Lucky we bought swissroll and it doesn't need much preparation.

I was really stressed up today, feeling bouts of frustration ever since morning, but for no good reason. Perhaps because of the hot weather, perhaps because I called up to book the breastfeeding lesson and learned that I've missed the previous 2 lessons last week. Anyway, I wasn't free last week. Then I have to reschedule meeting up with friends, and reschedule meeting with contractor for my new home just to attend the breastfeeding lesson.

I booked the lesson through this Breastfeeding mothers' support group website but after calling and emailing them, they have yet to give me a confirmation yet. Haiz.

I also found that the yoga lesson at Motherandchild has no vacancy this Fri so I scheduled one on next Fri. There is only 1 vacancy but I'm going with a friend so they changed it to the following Fri but they'll call me up if there's enough vacancy for me and my friend on next Fri.

I also booked my post-natal Malay massage lady. $70 per session for 7 days... She's recommended as reliable and nice in mummysg forum so hopefully she's good. I'm still considering whether to engage her for pre-natal massage for $75 per session too. Maybe later on.

Time is a precious scarcity and everyday, there are so much things to do and so little time.

I really would like to enjoy swimming and to go shopping for my mummy and baby essentials. I have a list to buy... Friend gave me a list of must-buy or must-prepare stuff to pack into bags before baby's arrival.

It seems that time flies and I'm already left with 4 months to Baby Joel's arrival!

Its now time for me to bath and get something to eat, and go to parents' place. I always believe happiness is a choice and we are in charge of our own happiness, and now that perhaps hormonal changes or whatever it is is making me feel frustrated, I have to do something to cheer myself up :)

Life in Singapore

2011-06-28T21:49:00.001+08:00

This week, everything is so much better. Hubby has taken few days off from work and he is trying to spend quality time with me. It is really heartening to see hubby trying his best to care for me.

Yesterday was tiring because as usual, we ran around to settle renovation issues. Reno is a big spending so we want to spend wisely. Furthermore, we need to be more prudent with spending as baby is arriving soon. More expenses to come!

Seriously, with the high standard of living and the cost of giving birth to and rising a child in Singapore, I cannot imagine surviving if there is more than one or two kids in the family. Rising one child is already very expensive and time consuming for working parents. There are lots of liabilities for working adults. Our flat is one big liability and contrary to what the governement tries to psycho us, Singaporeans into believing, no, the flat is not my asset, and neither does it totally belongs to me. HDB lease it to me for 99 years. So it puzzles me why they send me a bill for "Property tax" for a property that does not belong to me. That's not all, SP services (monopoly provider for water and gas) has started collecting money even before we move into the flat!

Today, I went to Tampines to buy dinner at peak hours and the crowd scares me. They don't seem to have eyes totally focused on where they are walking, and some people are always in danger of bumping into me so that I have to walk extra carefully and be very mindful of those people whose souls are lost somewhere while they are walking. Don't want baby to be hurt in anyway! Hubby's friend said that she had left Singapore for one year to live overseas, and comparing Singapore this year and last year, she is shocked to see the sharp increase of people taking public transport this year. Public transport and stations are much more crowded than last year. The large number of people, together with the unpleasant rushing, squeezing and zombie-like faces added stress to daily life. To us, we may not have noticed the difference but to a person who has left and came with a year's gap in between, the difference may be so extreme that its hard to ignore.

Suddenly emo

2011-06-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

It's been an emotional roller coaster ride recently. Perhaps it's the hormones due to pregnancy, perhaps it's the physical discomfort (baby kicking hard, frequent hunger pangs and sudden hot flushes), perhaps the recent stressors, perhaps because hubby has been busy and neglecting time with me. Or perhaps it is a combi of different factors at different times. These 2 weeks, I'm feeling very down. I raised my voice at dad, mom n hubby several times and I suddenly feel very irritated and angry, and I cried several times too.

I've been requesting for hubby to spend more time with me so that at least that can help me feel a bit better but it has not yet been realized. Sometimes I wish I will be sick with morning sickness again so that he will spend more time with me. Now that I am well, almost every night, he has something to do, somewhere to go and if he's at home, he has some task to complete.

I'm now pregnant so I really do not and cannot bother so much about renovation stuff. I hope hubby can take the lead and do most of the liaising and running around to do things. I can discuss design and ideas and prices but I do not want to bother about calling ppl and negotiating etc. I do not have high requirements when it comes to renovation. I'm more into buying furnitures n deco to beauty up the house. I really want to look at baby stuff and really buy some if those important things before baby's arrival. But all these things are so difficult to relate to hubby. After RT, he's tired, he couldn't think about me and he didn't even cook things for me when I suddenly became hungry at night. I was so disappointed today that I have packed my stuff and wanted to move back to my parents' place. At least if I'm hungry at night, they will care for me. When I'm so hungry, I really do not have energy to cook things myself but most people do not understand. It's also very sad that I have to do it myself because hubby does not want to. So I went to sleep despite the hunger, couldn't sleep well n had to wake up at 4.30am to toast bread to eat. I felt thoroughly miserable.

Apologies that this post is full of complains. When I told hubby about how I feel, he called to show his concern but I'm uncertain that things will change. It is a recurring problem that he frequently neglects me and baby in future when he's caught up in his busy schedule. Sigh. I wish we can develop a better and happier family life and not give up family time so easil when busy with individual commitments.

Baby's kicks

2011-06-14T12:36:00.004+08:00

Baby is 21 weeks 6 days today. He's supposed to be 28cm and 425g. I love feeling the kicks from him because they tell me he is well and active.

I realised there are 2 kinds of movements. One kind is when baby rolls around or toss and turn, I can feel it like something rolling against my insides. In the earlier days, I felt this kind of movement most often and I often mistaken it for stomach growling. Now, as baby grows and the movement is stronger, I know very well, its my baby turning around inside. Another kind of movement is sharp kicking. Baby rarely do this but when he do it, it's much stronger than the first kind and I felt my stomach bulge up more. Often, when I am sitting upright or standing still, he kicks the lower organs and caused some discomfort. Maybe because my uterus is vertical, baby tend to be in a vertical position as that gives him more space. Sometimes he kicks my bladder and makes me want to pee!

My body is adjusting better to the changes. I learn to adjust my life habits to suit the pregnancy symptoms. Thank goodness I'm not working now, so I could sleep past 10am most of the days. When I manage not to eat anything before 10am, the nausea and vomiting do not trouble me. However, if I don't eat well or if I eat too full or am hungry for too long, the nausea came back and its upsetting. I will feel tired and bloated and feel like vomiting the whole day. That was what happened yesterday. I ate my breakfast too late. I have to wake up at 10am for breakfast or else... Sometimes, I also get diarrhea. There's no predicting when it would happen. I just had diarrhea. Felt much better now and baby is kicking me again as I am typing this :)

Appetite wise, I am eating much more and not as choosy with food as in first trimester. Its near July now, and I am moving into third trimester in August. Just a few weeks more. I am talking to baby everyday, singing nice songs and reading meaningful scriptures to him. I am so looking forward to my baby boy's arrival!

Hubby said he wants to smell baby everyday before he goes to work and before he turns in to bed. He wants to put baby on his chest and let him sleep. I am so happy that I have a loving husband and a soon-to-be-born cute baby.

I do not want baby to be the smartest, the wealthiest, the highest achiever, the best in everything. I want him to be happy, healthy, mentally strong, and with all the right virtues to become the future leader of our world. As natural resources in our world depletes, the elitist and materialistic mindset of our current generation will no longer be adequate for survival. In a world like that, our future generation has got to be more open-minded, more flexible, more creative, and have more love in their heart in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life. That is what hubby and I believe in and that is what we will prepare our younger generation for.

Mid way into the pregnancy

2011-06-03T15:53:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, we had a detail scan of baby done at Dr Ho's clinic at Mt Alvernia. I was really looking forward to this scan. We will be able to understand whether baby is normal and healthy, confirm the sex of baby, and we can see baby for a longer time on the screen.

Baby is doing well. They checked everything from head to toe. I kept hearing him say "stomach seen, kidney seen, heart etc etc..." Dr Ho say baby is normal, no abnormalities detected from the scan. We were relieved. In my first trimester, we were asked to take further testing after the Oscar scan because the result wasn't satisfactory. It seems Oscar scan was not accurate, and amniocentesis wasn't necessary at all. We were glad we did not take the 1% miscarriage risk that comes with amnio and saved up $900+ which is the cost of the test.

Thank God for the blessing!

I am very happy that I feel baby's movement and sometimes stronger kicks everyday. They usually come when I sit still or when I am lying down.

Mid way into the pregnancy, I am feeling much better. I had headache and slight nausea in the morning. Today, I vomited a bit of gastric juices after brushing my teeth. Other than that, I am able to function quite well. I can't imagine how I live through the horrifying first trimester. I felt like I had been sick for 3 whole months! Now, I am appreciating good health even more.

Hmm gan jie and I have yet to register for yoga class and the hospital tour and the antenatal classes. We should start that soon... So far, the only exercise I have been doing is the weekly swim. Swimming is not only good for my body, it keeps my mind calm too. I have not swam for ages and when I started that last month, my phobia of water came back. Yup, I have a phobia for water. I used to have panic attacks whenever I swam to the middle part of the deep pool where water is the deepest. Perhaps I had drowned in one of my past lives? I learnt to overcome it :) All phobias can be overcome! We kept to the mid depth pool as pregnant women tend to have more frequent leg cramps and we don't want to risk it. The more I swim, the more I am used to the rhythm and the less afraid I am. It is always mind over matter. Currently, I am enjoying the swim very much.

One thing to be thankful for is that the rashes have almost disappeared. I felt some itchiness sometimes but its not serious is its not an extensive skin area. I bought a tube of the medication just in case but I hope I never had to open it. I guess the good rest, relaxed mood and the chlorine from the swimming pool helps? Kill bacteria. Haha.

With the new flat renovation starting and lots of activities for my spiritual classes, life is getting busier, and I need to manage my time and stress level well during this critical period of pregnancy. The most important is to maintain a positive attitude and an open heart. I'm sure I will not be alone in this journey. Appreciate the kindness and good company from family and friends.

Baby's first moves

2011-05-24T14:49:00.002+08:00

Excited and happy! I felt baby's first kick inside me!

Its not really a "kick". Its a slight movement like something round rubbing swiftly against my skin.

Told my hubby and mom. Mom said its like that when we feel baby move :)

Well, nausea is still a problem although not as much as before. As long as I rest more, and don't run around outside in the hot sun, I should be fun. I try to sleep late as much as possible to avoid the morning sickness which usually attacks in the morning. Yup, morning sickness don't just come in the morning. It used to affect me throughout the day in my first trimester.

The most irritating problem now is the rashes which pretty much cover my entire body. Sadly, they are now invading my tummy which has been cleared of rashes since I use the medication from my obstetrician. Using the medicine diligently now. Also taking cough med regularly but taking safe dosages for baby.

Happy all the same even though the symptoms that come with this pregnancy are really affecting my life. I'm glad I have helpful parents and loving hubby to help me maintain emotional wellness when I'm in physical discomfort.

Cost of having baby in private hospital

2011-05-20T14:04:00.001+08:00

We chose Mt Alvernia instead of Thomson Medical although both are good choices. It happens that the nice obstetrician we decided to stick with is from Mt Alvernia and his clinic is located there.

Cost is alarming. Here's a breakdown since our visit in April:

9/4/11 - consultation + supplements = S$282.50

12/4/11 - Oscar scan = S$318.85

18/4/11 - Lab prenatal profile (blood test) + consultation + medication for rashes = S$346.72

5/5/11 - consultation + supplements + cough medicine = $231.23

Total already spent S$1179.30.

Subsequently, we are also going to take up a S$900 Antenatal package with our obstetrician which includes consultation fees, urine tests, weight measurements and routine scans.

Supplements and medicine are extra costs. Detailed ultrasound scans, hospital visits and postnatal consultation are also not included.

We have to pay $1300 (of which $600 is Medisave claimable) for delivery fee, assuming everything is normal, no need for forceps or caesarean.

Hospital staying charges will then be a separate cost:

$1270 for 4-bedded, and $1390 for double bedded, assuming normal delivery. I'm considering between these 2. These should be all Medisave claimable. Definitely won't be going for the single room ($2070) as I find it too expensive. Hope everything goes smoothly on that day, baby don't make me suffer from contraction pains for too long, and we can go home happily after a night's stay.

Swimming fun!

2011-05-20T13:57:00.000+08:00

I had a good swimming session with gan jie yesterday. It was fun chatting, swimming and walking around in the middle pool. Don't want to go to the deep pool as we are both pregnant and not too keen and swimming too much. Walking around is fine. I heard its good for the spine and its good exercise for mummies-to-be. I think I shall make swimming a once a week exercise.

Unfortunately, I am having insomnia and strange dreams lately. Perhaps due to pregnancy? Its really troubling but no choice, I have to bear with it. I'm glad that I am no longer working and could sleep more in the morning. I couldn't imagine waking up early and struggling with work.

The good news is the morning sickness is much much lesser. My appetite has increased by leaps and bounds. From the looks of it, I'll be gaining some healthy weight soon! Losing 3 kg in the first 4 months of pregnancy is no joke!

17 weeks and 6 days into pregnancy

2011-05-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

I'm now into 17th week of my pregnancy.

According to pregnancy guidelines, my baby is supposed to be 15cm CRL and weigh 200g. Previously, during first 3 months and way into the first half of the 4th month, I was still vomiting like crazy, so I lost 3kg and looked much thinner. The radiologist who did the oscar scan for me also said baby is about 2 days smaller. Haiz, heart pain. But luckily, now, I'm eating more. In fact, now at 12.48am midnight, I'm still hungry and asked hubby to heat up the Lor Mai Kai for me.

I'm nauseaous less often now because I try to sleep well pass 10am. From early morning to 10am is the critical period when I will be nauseous and likely to puke if I eat. So these few days, things are getting better. When I vomit, I also lost appetite. Perhaps its psychological. If I know I will vomit soon after eating, I won't feel like eating at all.

I hope so much that baby will be growing nice and healthy!

Next up, I'll be looking for pre-natal yoga classes, pre-natal classes at Mt Alvernia, my hospital of choice, and breastfeeding classes from a breastfeeding support group that a friend recommends. Even though I am now not working, life is not going to be boring! :) Will share those research with all in my blog when I have consolidated them.

Done with the blog!

2011-05-16T05:45:00.000+08:00

Editing the template of this blog is tedious. I'm not a professional in this area. Unfortunately, I cannot find the right code for enabling comments in a blogger classic template. Finally, I found one that works! And its through random search on google. haha

Ok, done. Baby is complaining of the lack of sleep and the hunger. I'll grab something to eat and then go to catch some sleep before everyone wakes up.